Once again, WrestleCrap is back with its brand new, weekly interaction, in which Our Loyal Crappers decide what the worst in wrestling was for the past week. They can choose gimmicks, storylines, news stories, or anything else that constitutes “Crap”, and the votes are tallied in order to determine the WORST in wrestling…..at least for this week!
1. Natalya loses on her birthday in Calgary (NR)
Did we mention it was also on a night where her uncle was honored? This is why observant fans get mad so often: they see things as being needless.
2. Curtis Axel’s push consists of fluke victories (NR)
I get that he’s a shady heel, but hey: how about at least a TAINTED pinfall victory over somebody major? No? Not in the cards? Well, aight then.
3. WWE App overpromoted (2)
It’s the new way of watching television! Perhaps people just don’t wanna watch TV these days, given how Raw’s rating can’t even beat a 3.5 anymore.
4. Bret Hart Appreciation Night relegated to the App (NR)
That’s like cooking prime rib and lobster, and then holding the dinner party at a toxic waste dump. Guess the App screwed Bret this time.
5. AJ Styles’ hairstyle (NR)
Some have compared him to Peter Dinklage. That’s not too far off, actually. They’re both probably too short in Vince’s eyes to merit a serious push.
6. WWE making a movie with The Flintstones (NR)
I only approve if John Goodman plays Fred again. Then he beats the holy hell out of John Cena for making him roll on Shabbos. SHOMER SHABBOS.
7. TNA doesn’t pay for Zema Ion’s medical bills (3)
Nothing’s come out to refute the reports, and Zema’s still seeking money, so it looks sadly true. Hopefully, he’s able to recover fully, at least.
8. WWE culling NFL roster cuts looking for possible superstars (NR)
Specifically, they want tight ends and linebackers because of the lean muscle and considerable size. You know, there’s a thing called “the indies”….
9. Miz as a babyface (7)
One more and he ties Undertaker’s streak. Seriously, if you can name a reason why anyone would like Miz, the floor is all yours. Take your time, we’ll come back.
10. Damien Sandow and Sheamus compete in intellectual challenges (13)
Combined this with the Gordian knot votes. I think we get the point: Sandow is smart, and Sheamus is a condescending dick. Lather, rinse, repeat.
11. Miz as an annoying referee (NR)
One day, WWE will create a babyface that all fans like, and they will push him correctly. The world will blow up the next day, unable to process it.
12. Tony Dawson (NR)
He’s baaaaack. And he’s better than ev-errrr. Actually, no, he’s worse than ever. Hence why he keeps ending up on the Power Crappings here and there.
13. Triple H sustains lingering head injury (5)
Unless he develops amnesia and winds up repairing bicycles in a Cleveland ghetto, count me out. You can even have Stephanie play Swampy.
14. Triple H buries Curtis Axel in first promo (1)
A meme I didn’t come up with said it best: the idea of putting new talent over makes HHH dizzy. Slapping new talent, however, makes him very happy.
15. Sheamus as a babyface (6)
And bringing up the rear is a unique man that’s been horribly booked, and rendered a stale, uninteresting hack. But such is life these days.
Justin Henry is WrestleCrap's inquiring newsman, thirsting for knowledge always. He enjoys the art of satire, as you'll find in many of his works here at WrestleCrap. Drop him a line on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/notoriousjrh) and Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/jrhwriting)