     |
  |
|
Time To Vote for the Very Worst of the Very Worst - the 2011 Gooker Award!
Has it been 12 months already? Why yes, yes it has, and that means just one thing - it's time to start the voting for the 2011 GOOKER AWARD!
Since 2000, we here at the Crap have been in charge of what is, without question, without hyperbole, with the good Lord above as my witness and I am NOT making this up, the single most least prestigious award in wrestling, and that is the one that names the single worst character or storyline of the past year. So without any further adieu, your nominess are...
• Joker Sting with WATCHBIRD: 2011 saw the legendary Sting deciding he needed to reinvent himself. It also apparently saw him watching The Dark Knight. Throw both those ideas in a blender, hit puree, and you have THE NEW STING! But he didn't come alone, as he now had a bird. A bird that could watch men like Eric Bischoff and cause them to recoil in total and utter fear. I should also note this bird wasn't a vulture or a raven or anything. I think it may have been a starling. Or a pigeon. It wasn't scary, though, that much I do know.
• Winter & Angelina Love: So Winter drugs Angelina Love and she then becomes a zombie, a lesbian love zombie I think. Then Winter quits giving Angelina Love drugs, and Angelina just remains a lesbian love zombie. OH! And Angelina still needs a sandwich.
• All Things Michael Cole: Where to even begin with this? From his horrible commentary to his matches with JR that should have been great but wound up being insufferable to his burials of Daniel Bryan to...well...everything else he did in 2011. Kinda hope this doesn't win, I'd have so much to write about it would take me until 3011 to finish the induction.
• The WWE "Walkout": So Hunter shows up after Vince gets nixed, and tells him "I love you, Pops" in what may have been the single stupidest line of 2011. In fact, I dare go so far and say if the Gooker could be award to four words of dialogue, it would be to that and the Gooker could then be retired forever. Where was I? Oh yea, so Hunter shows up after Vince gets nixed and is named the new CEO or GM or something. He does a really boring job, and everyone wants him to leave, so they stage a walkout. Then they just show up again, like nothing ever happened. Sound horrible? Duh, why do you think it's up for the Gooker?
• The Mystery GM...That Was Just Dropped: Ah yes, the stupid computer that was the anonymous Raw GM. For months, everyone guessed who it could be, and how that person would be revealed. And in the end we found out the GM was...well, we never found out. The computer just stopped showing up and was almost never spoken of again. On the plus side, for once WWE didn't disappoint us with a lame ending to a storyline. But having no ending at all isn't really worthy of praise, is it?
• Sting vs. Hardy: TNA Title Match Disaster: What a stellar encounter these two had at Victory Road. With the TNA title on the line, Jeff showed up in no condition to perform, and a scant 1:28 later, Sting was your new champion. We all figured this would be the end of Jeff Hardy in TNA, but come on...we should have known better by now, right?
• WWE Twitter Madness: Though we fear this could be up for nomination for the next 20 years (or until Twitter dies a boring death ala MySpace, which might happen next week for all we know), this would be the initial foray for WWE to expound to us the virtues of TWITTER, and TRENDING, and all that crap. Probably wouldn't have been so horrible if the company didn't mention it every, oh, 20 seconds, but then again, that's why it's so annoying. Annoying enough to win the Gooker? You tell us!
And there you have it! So whatcha think? Can TNA win back to back Gookers? Can WWE regain the 'crown'? Time for YOU to make the call!
Voting ends Friday, January 27, and the Gooker will officially be awared as our first new induction of the year on February 3!
(Warning: RD is about to SHILL. Click here to skip this section.)
Shillville!
The WrestleCrap Radio Celebrity Roast!
With Free Decade Down the Draing: 10 Years of WrestleCrap.com Archive Disc
PRE-ORDERS NOW AVAILABLE!
What is the reward for RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton working tirelessly for the past decade at WrestleCrap.com? If you guessed a CELEBRITY ROAST, you are correct, sir! Join RD and Blade as they get lambasted by all their co-horts on WrestleCrap Radio! Angry Jim, Gay Popeye, Dixie, Mike Check, Stubby, and countless others show up to pay homage to our hosts on this exclusive DVD. If you thought WrestleCrap Radio was hilarious, well, you're an idiot in for a real treat!
The disc will begin shipping in late May, 2010. With the purchase of this disc, you will also receive absolutely free...
A Decade Down the Drain: 10 Years of WrestleCrap.com Archive Disc
You've asked for it for years...now completely UPDATED! The first 10 Years of WrestleCrap.com on a two disc set! The complete WrestleCrap archive from 2000-2010 is opened on your computer thanks to this new DVD-ROM (DVD-R). Just pop these discs into your computer, and you are a single click away from all the insanity we've posted over the past TEN YEARS!
Every bit of Crap from the past TEN YEARS!
Over 450 Inductions!
Over 220 Someone Bought This!
Over 220 It Came From YouTubes!
Nearly 50 Weird World of Wrestlings!
Over 85 Jobbers of the Week!
Nearly 60 Rewriting the Books!
More than 20 Gimmick Tables!
100+ Ramblings!
50+ Mailbags!
All 23 Merle Vincent Menacing Thoughts!
Nearly 200 Hours of WrestleCrap Radio and assorted interviews on other radio progrems - so much that we had to add a second disc to the set!Plus These Never Before Seen Features!
RD Reynolds Fighting Spirit Archive: In addition to writing inductions, reviews, and hosting WrestleCrap Radio, RD also pens a monthly column for Fighting Spirit Magazine in the UK, dubbed The Crap Shoot. For the first time ever, over 50 articles are culled together for your reading enjoyment!
Sean Carless' Breaking Newz~! Archive: One of the geniuses behind the Gimmick Table gives us the lowdown as to what's REALLY happening in wrestling with his Breaking Newz~! If you love the Gimmick Table (and who doesn't?), you are really going to enjoy this one!
And...
RD's Junk Drawer: Magazine articles, unfinished inductions, WrestleCrap Radio outtakes, various non-WrestleCrap Radio shows featuring the boys, and more!
Madison Carter's Junk Drawer: All the Weird World of Wrestling Stuff That Never Made it To the Site!
Boob Grabs, Booze, and Black Magic: The Making of Revenge of the Scorpion: Blade Braxton takes you behind the scenes of the night when he and all his friends got totally sloshed and recorded their epic!
Unreleased Gimmick Table, Plus the Best of Burgan Cheap Pops!
Plus tons more crap that we will try to fill the disc with!
Trust me, it will take forever to get through all this stuff - and it took us eight years to write it all!
Special Pre-order pricing: Cost for the three disc set (WrestleCrap Radio Celebrity Roast is one disc, the archive is two) is $15.95. Shipping rates are as follows: US: $4.00; Canada: $5.00; European countrie: $12.00. Any other locations please drop us a line.
All discs come personally autographed (if you have a special request on the autograph, please let me know). Just use Paypal to send the money to thedeal@wrestlecrap.com, and be sure to include a shipping address! You can also snail mail a check or money order; for that information, click rightchere.
And for a limited time only, you can combine this order with the Worst of RD DVD or the WrestleCrap Radio Shoot for just $6 more! Want them both? Then just send along an extra $10! You'll have so much crap you won't know what to do!
Note: This is a DVD-ROM in DVD-R format that is readable on most newer computers. It is not a video DVD for play in a DVD player! If you have questions about this, please email us rightchere!
ALSO AVAILABLE...
The WrestleCrap Radio Shoot Interview!
Join RD and Blade as they pull back the curtain of the stupidest wrestling podcast to ever pollute iPods the world over! Find out the truth about Don (Don Mason), Peter Gazer, Nathaniel, Johnny Six, John Thomas, the Crappies(!!), Blade's super big secret announcement, that ratings creep, Nicole Bass, the origin of the Haiku, the Trolla Corporation, plus...a live appearance by STUBBY! All that and much, MUCH more!
Blade Braxton Independent Film Retrospective: You know all those stories Blade tells onWCR about stupid movies he would film? They're true! And here's the proof, with several clips, recaps, and breakdowns of his celluloid catastrophes!
Price is just $10, which includes free shipping in the US and Canada. European orders are available for $20 with free shipping. Just use Paypal to send the money to thedeal@wrestlecrap.com, and be sure to include a shipping address!
ALSO AVAILABLE...
WrestleCrap Personified: The Worst of RD Reynolds
Double DVD-R Set
Now Available!They say those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. But that’s never
stopped RD Reynolds, the curator of WrestleCrap.com, the site that pokes fun at all the worst in wrestling.You see, RD once worked on the independent wrestling scene himself, booking and participating in angles every bit as bad as those he ridicules on his site. And now, because his fellow crappers have asked for it, those events are now available in a double DVD-R set. Here's a quick sneak peak!
Disc 1:
Babyface RD in Championship Wrestling of America
- RD Shills Pizza
- RD Does Terrible Babyface Commentary
- RD Sings Happy Birthday to some dork
- CWA Champ Mike Samples wrestles the world's longest match (well, it felt that way), then proceeds to get run over by a car going 10 MPH, all with Good Guy RD calling the actionHeel RD in Pro Wrestling International:
- PWI Intro Featuring RD DANCING
- RD’s Heel Debut: the Uncle Burt Speech
- Trash Losagain Debut, in Which He Appears to have a GIANT DONG and looks to have pooped his pants
- RD: Heel Commentator Montage in which I talk about how much I hate the fans and tell really, REALLY bad jokes
- RD and Trash Get Biggum (translated: ZERO) heat by stealing a guy’s hat
- RD Heel Refs a Match in GIANT CLOWN SHOES (with commentary by RD, and his friends Casey (Trash Losagain) and Dan Garza (Diamond Dan)
- RD Promo in Hope, Indiana, in which I promise to kiss the foot of everyone in the building if I lose my match
- RD in a Blindfold Kiss My Foot Match (with commentary)
- Bonus: Radio Promo in Which I Pretend to be a Hillbilly Who “Milks Pigs and Shears Cattle”Heel RD Works Indy Shows:
- NWA Indianapolis snippet featuring me managing Mad Man Pondo versus New Jack (with commentary)
- RD and Trash vs. Diamond Dan on a LUCHA SHOW (with commentary)
- Elementary School Show Snippet featuring a guy who is now a HYOOOGE star in TNA (with commentary)
- Promo for Merle Vincent’s TV ShowDisc 2:
RD in CWA: Special Commentary with CWA Promoter Jeff Cohen, who teaches me the fine art of SHILLING!
RD Books PWI Into the Ground (All with commentary with me and Casey):
- PWI Roll Call: A Look at the Poor Guys We Booked Into Oblivion
- We make fun of RD & Trash's debut match
- Dissection of the Hat Stealing Angle
- RD on RD: RD Takes a Look at His Wrestling "Career"
- Special Bonus Match: Otto Bauhn (geddit? Like AUTOBAHN!) vs. Johnny Walker, Whom I Dubbed THE HUMAN CHIA PETSpecial Feature: Blade Braxton's Revenge of the Scorpion in Its ENTIRETY (both with and without commentary by the JOTW head honcho himself)
Believe me, this stuff SUCKS - you've been warned!
Price is just $10, which includes free shipping in the US and Canada. European orders are available for $20 with free shipping. Just use Paypal to send the money to thedeal@wrestlecrap.com, and be sure to include a shipping address!
Note: DVD-Rs are playable in MOST newer DVD players, as well as DVD-ROM drives on computers. Also note that this is in NTSC format. I cannot guarantee compatibility. If you have any questions regarding that, please contact me here.
Check out all the fun of WrestleCrap Radio rightchere!
Discuss this column and more at the Official WrestleCrap Forum; email RD your comments, questions, and suggestions rightchere.
And be sure to visit RD's Bookshelf and RD's Video Shelf to find out what wrestling books and DVDs are true crap.
