Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JEFF JARRETT SAVED CHYNA FROM SPCA ONE HOUR BEFORE EUTHANIZATION By Justin Henry Nashua, NH – Fans were flabbergasted to discover that Joanie Lauer, professionally known as “Chyna”, had debuted at the TNA Impact tapings recently, playing Continue Reading...
All The Latest Crap!
Headlies: CM PUNK TO LEAVE WWE, MAKE LIVING BUMMING MEALS FROM AWESTRUCK SMARKS / FORMER WWE INTERN ADMITS: “THOSE ‘DID YOU KNOWS’ ARE TOTAL BS”
1 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:53Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here CM PUNK TO LEAVE WWE, MAKE LIVING BUMMING MEALS FROM AWESTRUCK SMARKS By Justin Henry Chicago, IL – It would appear that CM Punk has made the decision to end his near five-year tenure with World Wrestling Continue Reading...
Headlies: WWE ALL-STARS LIKENESS OF HULK HOGAN TESTS POSITIVE FOR HGH / RONNIE GARVIN FELLS WOULD-BE ROBBER WITH HANDS OF STONE, GARVIN STOMP
1 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:51Text by Justin Henry, RD Reynolds, and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here WWE ALL-STARS LIKENESS OF HULK HOGAN TESTS POSITIVE FOR HGH By Justin Henry San Diego, CA – THQ Headquarters has been rocked by scandal this week, as the digital likeness of Hulk Hogan, a prominent playable character Continue Reading...
Headlies: JOHN CENA TO MENTOR SIN CARA, TEACH HIM HOW TO WRESTLE / RUMOR: VINCE MCMAHON HAVING AFFAIR WITH STAMFORD SUPERCUTS EMPLOYEE / DESTITUTE LEX LUGER SCRAPS STEEL FOREARM PLATE FOR CASH
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:48Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JOHN CENA TO MENTOR SIN CARA, TEACH HIM HOW TO WRESTLE By Justin Henry London, England – After international lucha sensation Sin Cara (the man once known as Mistico) made a couple errors in judgment during his first televised Continue Reading...
Headlies: EDGE HAS “NO PLANS” TO RETIRE FROM ADULTERY / REMINDER: APRIL 18 IS KANE’S “FACE TURN/HEEL TURN” CALENDAR DARTS NIGHT / TRIPLE H RETURNING NEW BLU-RAY PLAYER TO PAY FOR WRESTLEMANIA CHAIR SHOT FINE
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:46Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here EDGE HAS “NO PLANS” TO RETIRE FROM ADULTERY By Justin Henry Bridgeport, CT – With accumulated spinal injuries as the main culprit, 37 year old Adam Copeland, best known as “The Rated-R Superstar” Edge, relinquished the World Heavyweight Championship Continue Reading...
Headlies: VIRGIL HAPPY TO HAVE WRESTLEMANIA STREAK IN TACT / RARE 1989 “DISS TAPE” FOUND IN WWE PRODUCTION STUDIOS / BOBBY WASHWEY WOOKING TO WEALWIZE POTENTHIAL OUTHIDE WING
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:44Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here VIRGIL HAPPY TO HAVE WRESTLEMANIA STREAK IN TACT By Justin Henry Pittsburgh, PA – March 24, 2011 marked the twenty year anniversary of the beginning of a WrestleMania streak that has yet to be compromised, and is still talked Continue Reading...
Headlies: TNA TRADES JEFF HARDY TO REHAB FOR SCOTT WEILAND / UPDATE – HARDY TRADED BACK TO TNA, WHO WILL NOW HOLD LOCKDOWN IN LEGIT PRISON TO ACCOMMODATE HIS SENTENCE / TRIPLE H CONTEMPLATING BUYING BLU-RAY PLAYER WITH BOX OFFICE GROSS FROM “THE CHAPERONE”
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:41Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here TNA TRADES JEFF HARDY TO REHAB FOR SCOTT WEILAND By Justin Henry Orlando, FL – In a startling development, Total Non-Stop Action has traded former two-time TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy to an Unchained Futures, a rehabilitation facility Continue Reading...
Headlies: HEIDENREICH EXCITED ABOUT JOINING ANIMAL FOR WWE HALL OF FAME INDUCTION / CODY RHODES TO ATTEMPT TO DUPLICATE HIS FATHER’S SUCCESS BY TALKING NON-STOP RHYMING GIBBERISH / PAUL ROMA “VASTLY UNDERRATED” CLAIMS PAUL ROMA
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:37Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here HEIDENREICH EXCITED ABOUT JOINING ANIMAL FOR WWE HALL OF FAME INDUCTION By Justin Henry New Orleans, LA – The WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony will take place Saturday night, April 2, at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, GA. Continue Reading...
Headlies: JOEY STYLES CELEBRATES THREE “REBELLIOUSLY EXTREME” YEARS RUNNING WWE.COM / JACK SWAGGER TAKES OUT OVERSIZED NOVELTY TEETH, PUNISHED FOR REVEALING NORMAL SMILE / COLT CABANA PROVES THAT JUST ABOUT ANYBODY CAN BE NWA CHAMPION
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:35Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JOEY STYLES CELEBRATES THREE “REBELLIOUSLY EXTREME” YEARS RUNNING WWE.COM By Justin Henry Stamford, CT – Since leaving the ECW broadcast booth in the spring of 2008, Joey Styles has diligently and tirelessly put much time into running WWE.com, the Continue Reading...
Headlies: REPO MAN TO STEAL ALBERTO DEL RIO’S CARS UNTIL PAYMENTS ARE MADE / RODERICK STRONG “CAN’T WAIT” TO BECOME FORGOTTEN WWE MIDCARDER / TNA SIGNS AL WILSON JUST TO PROVE WWE ARE FRAUDS
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:30Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here REPO MAN TO STEAL ALBERTO DEL RIO’S CARS UNTIL PAYMENTS ARE MADE By Justin Henry San Luis Potosi, Mexico – While Alberto Del Rio may be on the “Road to WrestleMania”, the #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship Continue Reading...
Headlies: JACK TUNNEY FAKED DEATH, WILL BE REVEALED AS ANONYMOUS RAW GM / SON OF TNA’S ABYSS “BLADES” DURING SCHOOL PLAY TO KEEP CROWD INTERESTED / AREA HOTTIES TO ATTEND NWA FANFEST, MESS WITH HOPELESS VIRGINS
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:21Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here JACK TUNNEY FAKED DEATH, WILL BE REVEALED AS ANONYMOUS RAW GM By Justin Henry Toronto, ON – Despite reports that he had died in January 2004 of natural causes, Jack Tunney, once the “esteemed President” of the World Wrestling Continue Reading...
Headlies: RANDY ORTON REVEALS HE’S ACTUALLY A ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE / SHANE HELMS FOLLOWS SHAWN MICHAELS TO SOUP KITCHEN “JUST TO KEEP HIM IN LINE” / “TERRY GARVIN JUST WASN’T INTO ME” CLAIMS LONELY, BITTER SHANE DOUGLAS
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:17Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here RANDY ORTON REVEALS HE’S ACTUALLY A ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE By Sean Carless & Catherine Perez Stamford, CT – He hears voices in his head. For pro grappler Randy Orton, 30, this is not only the familiar chorus of Continue Reading...
Headlies: SENILE KEN PATERA, GRIMACE HAVE ‘UNEASY’ TRUCE AT CONVENTION / RIC FLAIR TO BUY OUT TNA CONTRACT BY SELLING KIDNEY / MARK HENRY, LONG-LOST SON REUNITE
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:13Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless and RD Reynolds Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here SENILE KEN PATERA, GRIMACE HAVE ‘UNEASY’ TRUCE AT CONVENTION By Justin Henry Fort Washington, PA – At the recent comic/sci-fi/wrestling convention in Fort Washington, former WWE Intercontinental Champion Ken Patera was on hand to sign autographs for fans and Continue Reading...
Headlies: US HERO WITH GOLDEN TRUNKS BECOMES HOMELESS MAN / DIXIE CARTER “SURPRISED” TO FIND TNA DVDS IN FYE BARGAIN BIN / TUPAC-BIGGIE FEUD BEGAN OVER STAR RATING DISAGREEMENT
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 11:01Text by Justin Henry and Sean Carless; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here US HERO WITH GOLDEN TRUNKS BECOMES HOMELESS MAN By Sean Carless, Catherine Perez Orlando, FL – Once a national icon who inspired millions to train, say their prayers, and eat their vitamins, semi-retired pro wrestler Hulk Hogan has become the Continue Reading...
Headlies: MATT HARDY TO HEADLINE WRESTLEMANIA 27 ON “SMACKDOWN VS. RAW 2011” / FORECASTERS PREDICT BIG SHOW’S ANNUAL HEEL TURN WILL COME “EARLIER THAN EXPECTED”
0 Submitted by Justin Henry on Thu, 27 December 2012, 10:59Text by Justin Henry; Photoshoppery by Sean Carless Follow Justin on Facebook here and on Twitter here; Check out Sean on Facebook here and his website here MATT HARDY TO HEADLINE WRESTLEMANIA 27 ON “SMACKDOWN VS. RAW 2011” By Justin Henry Cameron, NC – Matt Hardy has finally realized his dream, and will get to headline the 27th annual grand spectacle known as Wrestlemania. The 36 year old Continue Reading...
In early 2012, I got to realize a pretty incredible dream: I was going to be teaming up regularly with Bill Apter on a video podcast. Now make no mistake about this, Bill Apter was a HUGE influence on me. Back when I first got into wrestling, there was no place better to get news than the legendary Apter mags, Continue Reading...
WCW vs. Charmed: Witches vs Wrestlers? My Money’s On Alyssa Milano!
0 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 21:05WB Network, 2000 Text by Steve Taylor & RD Reynolds From 1999 to 2000, pro wrestling reached unheard of heights in TV ratings as fans flocked to watch The Attitude Era of the tnen-WWF and to follow the exploits of the nWo in WCW. Countless batteries were worn out on remotes across the country in attempts to watch both Raw and Nitro, what with us all Continue Reading...
Kronik vs. The Brothers of Destruction: A Legendarily Bad Match Turns Out To Be…Yeah, Pretty Horrible
7 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 21:04WWF, 2001 Text by RD Reynolds I feel like I’ve been doing this a lot lately, but confession time: I’ve never seen this match. I’ve heard about it. Oh boy have I heard about it. It’s been called one of the worst matches ever, one of the worst matches The Undertaker has ever been involved in, which is something I personally Continue Reading...
Six Sides of Blindfolded Steel:The Most Brutal Blindfold Match Ever!
5 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 21:02TNA, 2007 Text by RD Reynolds If you’ve been following pro wrestling for, oh, ten minutes or so, you know there is no shortage of goofy match types. Right off the top of my head, we get tag team matches, triple threat matches, strap matches, chain matches, dog collar matches, inferno matches, tuxedo matches, cage matches, blindfold matches. Oh, and those Continue Reading...
INDUCTION: Jesse on Renegade: The Body’s Got a Machine Gun…And Midgets Ain’t Got Time to Bleed!
0 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:57Syndicated TV Show, 1992 Text by RD Reynolds So the other day I was online chatting with my buddy John. I’m not sure I’ve ever talked about John on the site before, but I’ve known him for a few years and I’ve come to view him as a really good friend. We met as we share a love for pinball, and Continue Reading...
WWE, 2008-2010 Text by RD Reynolds You know, I’ve been wanting to write this induction for a couple of years. It may not have been first on my list, but it was definitely ON my list, and I knew that one day it would come to pass that I’d be doing the screen grabs and pecking away on my MacBook Pro Continue Reading...
Classic Induction: The ConMan, Rob Conway: Just Look at Me…Ain’t I a Sight to See?
4 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:50WWE, 2005-2007 Text by RD Reynolds I’ve had people asking me for literally years to induct The Con Man, Rob Conway. I’ve always resisted. You know why? Because of this. The greatest entrance music in WWE in at least 15 years. In fact, I love it so much I am going to transcribe every single word of it! Just look at Continue Reading...
Lex Luger as SuperBoy: Look at that Image…Does This Induction Really Need Text?
0 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:48TV Show, 1990 Text by RD Reynolds; Gazillion thanks to Cory Hendricks for his assistance with this induction! The tiny white text up there below the big green text up there is 100% correct. I mean, seriously…look at this: What could I possibly type that would live up to such majestic imagery? I could write the next Grapes of Wrath and Continue Reading...
Trytan: TNA’s Warrior-Terminator-Somethingorother
1 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:44TNA, 2005 Text by RD Reynolds Even though it’s been a few years since I last wrote a book for them, I’ve maintained a good relationship with the folks at ECW Press. And with good reason, when you think about it – they gave me my first crack at writing a book when they had no viable rationale for doing so. Continue Reading...
The T’s Versus Boogeyman: Amazingly, It’s Not Even the Worst Mania Moment in This Induction!
3 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:42WWE, 2006 Text by RD Reynolds Over the years here at WrestleCrap, we’ve let a few inductions slip through the cracks that we didn’t consider, you know, horrible. I know some folks have viewed us as the final word as what is bad in wrestling, and we consider it a compliment. Unfortunately, it’s just not the case. Well, it’s not always the case. Continue Reading...
Secrets of Wrestling 1987: Including, Yet Not Limited To, Smoking Bags and Self-Induced Wedgies
2 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:37VHS Tape, 1987 Text by RD Reynolds Special Help for this Induction Provided by the Awesome Sucio from the F4WOnline.com Board .Be sure to check him out on Twitter by clicking rightchere! First things first: no, I have NOT posted this before. I can understand why you WOULD think that, as years ago I covered “EXPOSED: Pro Wrestling’s Greatest Secrets Revealed!” (hey look, a bonus Continue Reading...
The Truth Commission: Wisely Segregated From Good Gimmicks
2 Submitted by Justin Henry on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:28WWE, 1997-1998 Text by Justin Henry The ‘foreign heel’ is far from a foreign concept in the annals of wrestling history. From Nazi sympathizers like Hans Schmidt and Fritz Von Erich, to desert-dwelling madmen such as The Sheiks, both Iron and regular, to admirers of the Iron Curtain in Nikolai Volkoff and Vladimir Kozlov, you could fill a UN conference Continue Reading...
WrestleMania 27: A Bigger Folly For The Rock Than Doom
19 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:26WWE, 2011 Text by Justin Henry After writing countless Headlies for WrestleCrap, providing numerous one liners for the Headlie Trolla, calling in a few times to WrestleCrap Radio (my favorite instance was playing “Zombie Stu Hart”), and giving feedback to Uncle Deal himself, the time has come to check off another box on my WrestleCrap Bucket List. I’m writing an Continue Reading...
Chris Jericho and Lucy the Dog: Worst WrestleMania Main Event Build EVER
4 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:23WWE, 2002 Text by RD Reynolds With WrestleMania fast approaching, I was bouncing around in my skull any horrible WrestleMania stuff we hadn’t covered over the years. And there it was, way back in the recesses of my gray matter. Something I had long repressed because of just how much I hated the whole thing. The Saga of the Undisputed Champion Continue Reading...
Teddy Long vs. Eric Bischoff: Someone Saw This and Thought, “We Need to Do This Again”
1 Submitted by RD Reynolds on Wed, 26 December 2012, 20:22WWE, 2005 Text by RD Reynolds This year’s WrestleMania card is nearing its final stages, and this week we got our “Let’s Cram Some More People on the Show So Everyone Gets a Pay Day, And Hey, We’re Not Doing Money in the Bank This Year So We Need to Do Something” encounter: Team Teddy Long vs. Team John Laurinaitis. While Continue Reading...