I gotta admit, I’ve been pretty bummed out this week. My seemingly never-ending battle with step throat remains…uh…never-ending, and that, combined with Blade suffering yet another concussion (I think it’s time to buy that boy a helmet) have delayed WrestleCrap Radio #200 yet again. It really stinks, because I have been looking forward to doing that show for weeks, and every time we set a date, it gets pushed back. I feel like the show is cursed or something.
So yeah, I’m a downy clowny. But I think I have the perfect elixir for my woes: a wrestling invasion of a game show.
Seriously, are these ever NOT fun? Whether it’s WCW battling GLOW on Family Feud or Booker T on The Weakest Link (in which he told us that Thanksgiving was in October!!), it’s always a good time. So when one of my fellow crappers, Sean Bateman, dinged me on Facebook and gave me links to Miz and John Morrison on Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader, I was all over it.
Sadly, I was disappointed by what I saw. I mean, both guys came off as likable and pretty smart. In fact, I can sum up the highlights of what I saw in exactly two still frames:
1) The show’s host, Jeff Foxworthy wearing Morrison’s sunglasses and repeatedly – and incorrectly I should add! – referring to Morrison as a…get this…WRESTLER.
2) A child on the show wearing Morrison’s sunglasses and proclaiming himself to be the Shaman of Sexy.
He then picked 5th Grade Anatomy as his subject as Morrison looked on approvingly.
…and that was about it. What a letdown.
An undeniable, yet at the same time very bothersome, letdown.
But what’s this off to the side in the suggestions column?
Oh, now this could be fun.
But before I dive in, it’s time for the ever-present disclaimer when RD inducts anything to do with the Big Show. As a lot of you know, about 10 years ago when Show was doing a rehab stint in WWE’s old developmental territory, Ohio Valley Wrestling, a weird set of circumstances led me to managing Mark Henry (there for a similar reason) against Show at house show in a small Indiana town. I wound up in the ring with him, and he hit me with a chokeslam that I thought for sure had broken my hip and I never returned to the ring again. The botch was 100% my fault, due to having no earthly idea what I was doing and should have not been in the ring with him. If I ever run into the guy again, I will for sure apologize, and I have no doubt he will have zero idea what the hell I am talking about.
The point here is that I do not have some vendetta against the guy, just looking to see if we can have some good, wholesome, fun for the whole family whilst watching him attempt to outsmart school children.
Immediately, I notice something awry as Jeff Foxworthy has been replaced by some Australian bloke.
And before I can even say “Tie me kangaroo down, sport” something even more inexplicable happens:
I have never felt more wrong for an induction than this one.
I mean, just look at him!
And hey, Show don’t feel bad about how you did.
Last week I took RD Jr. to school for his first week of kindergarten. After his first day, he came out and told me, “A rhombus is the shape of a diamond.” I scratched my head a bit, and whispered to Mrs. Deal, “Is that right?”
She confirmed it was.
So while Show may not be smarter than a 5th grader, he’s way smarter than me!
Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often).
Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!