INDUCTION: WrestleMania 93 Music Video – SEIZURE WARNING

12 Submitted by on Thu, 26 March 2020, 20:00

WWF, 1993

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I hadn’t been living in Indianapolis for very long, and had very few friends. While working at a market research phone center, I met a guy named Casey.  I thought he was pretty funny and liked chatting with him at lunch time.  One day, just goofing off, I came at him with a clothesline.  He looked at me bright eyed and smiling, and exclaimed, “Like the Hulkster!”  I had no idea before that he was a wrestling fan and our friendship immediately took on new meaning.

We’ve been friends ever since.  We’ve vacationed together, been in each other’s weddings, even got into the wrestling ring together.  He’s like a brother to me.  I’m very blessed to have him in my life.

When I think back on our exploits, for whatever reason I often think of a random trip to Karma Records.  I am not sure if Karma was a chain outside of the Indianapolis market, but inside I-465, it was a major deal.  They obviously sold vinyl, but also videos, shirts, you name it.  They were also a Ticketmaster location back when you had to venture out and stand in line to get seats for events, and often, WCW would send their stars to Ticketmasters when a show was coming to town.  It was the first place I ever met Bobby Heenan, so that was huge for me too.

This day, however, we were going to Karma for a different reason – Casey was adamant about picking up a new CD he’d heard about.  This one:

Casey was so excited.  The guy behind the counter selling it?  Not so much.  In fact, he told Casey, “You are buying THAT?  We had to listen to it the other day and it is the single worst album I’ve ever heard.”  Undeterred, Casey bought it and we ran out to his truck so we could put it in and crank the tunes.

In hindsight, of course, the guy at Karma was right.  From a musical standpoint, this thing is bottom of the barrel stuff.  I inducted the whole thing years ago, but that’s not why we are here today.  No no.  Instead, I want to do a deep dive of the music video of the title track.  I’ve done this before with Piledriver – if you don’t recall, you can check that out by clicking rightchere.

Enough backstory, time to dive in.  But before I do, a word of warning.  I’ve put together a ton of animated GIFs for this induction…and they are so strobe-y and insane I feel I need to offer the following disclaimer:

Ok, I feel as though I may now proceed.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is WRESTLEMANIA!!!

And we don’t even get ten seconds into the song before it goes COMPLETELY off the rails, with someone asking if we were ready for the Survivor Series.

On the song WrestleMania.

Amazingly, it would be over a QUARTER OF A CENTURY before we would find out who that mystery voice was.  Naturally it was WWF mainstay…  

….Jimmy Garvin.  Pretty sure this is the first and only time ever appeared on WWF television.  And he was not featured at all in the music video, just his voice was.  You know who was plastered all over the video though?

THIS MAN:

Yes, Mean Gene who randomly appears to ask “Who will survive?”

It carries nearly the same cinematic nuance as when the disembodied head slides in and yells “TOASTY” in Mortal Kombat.

Finally we get past the completely random Survivor Series references and we are alerted this is WrestleMania.  

Alerted with all the subtlety of a nitroglycerin fueled bulldozer smashing into the side of your house.

I didn’t fast forward the clip to make the GIF or anything of the like.  

Watch the spotlights – they are running at normal speed.  This is exactly what was shown.

What follows is somehow even more insane, as Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan are electrocuted for the viewer’s amusement:

You’ll find I am joking about 0% of what this video is presenting.

I have no idea why the Prime Time hosts are being presented in such a manner.  One thing I do know, though:

How Bart felt when he downed that all syrup Squishy. 

Next we get some time lapse footage of a wrestling ring being constructed.  Sadly they don’t zoom in- I’d love to have video evidence to show how the apron is in fact the hardest part of the ring.

I’ve always questioned that. 

Now we get THIS again, only with 93 on there.

I feel like I should probably bite down on a wallet for the remainder of this induction.  I’d advise you do the same.

This video already has me asking about 10,000 questions, such as…

Why is Papa Shango shooting off a sparkler in a rainbow motion over the ring?

And…

…is it considered patriotic to strobe Jim Duggan directly into my eyeballs?

Again, I am NOT skipping frames or fast forwarding here.  This is what you are presented with to watch and somehow presumably enjoy!

I mean, by the time Tatanka (Buffalo) shows up, it’s downright serene and welcomed.  Ok, sure there’s whirls of smoke flying all around his noggin, but I attribute that to him sharing a peace pipe with his kimosabe Mr. Fuji.

Can someone let me know if “peace pipe” politically correct in 2020?

How about kimosabe?

Next, Big Bossman shows up behind some Venetian blinds.  I try to not remember much about the early to mid 1990s, but I do recall that Venetian blinds were used to convey sexy sultriness in those old Cinemax After Dark shows.

I do not need to see Ray Traylor in such an environment.

Something else I didn’t need – Skinner EATING THE SCREEN.

Making it even more surreal is the fact they randomly spliced in a .000000004 second clip of Lex Luger as the Narcisisst.

I do my best to never swear, but I must ask:

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

When you can’t think it can possibly get even more insane, we get a Nasty Boys solo (or I guess duet) with the following visual:

I DID NOT MAKE THAT GIF TO BE FUNNY.

It’s in the original video.

Just when I am about to give up, we get my favorite wrestler of the era, Bret Hart.  I didn’t think I can overstate just how awesome I thought Bret was.

With that said, I don’t need to see him behind Venetian blinds either.

When I saw those on Skinemax, the chicks weren’t kissing belts, I can tells ya that!

On the plus side, it’s not like Bret is breaking out the handcuffs.

Instead, that would be the Bossman who AGAIN starts singing about how he made a vow to become a law enforcement officer.

Wait, aren’t you a wrestler?

I am so confused.

WHO WILL SURVIVE?

Some crappy rap follows, and then we get in-ring footage of the stars (err, sorry SUPERSTARS) of the day.  Razor Ramon, Randy Savage, Shawn Michaels, and of course…

…Damien Demento!

I’ll need to check my record books, but pretty sure poor DD never appeared on a WrestleMania.

Which you’d think he would since this song is called WRESTLEMANIA.

Next we get a six panel split screen, which is less artsy and more like some badly designed character select screen on the Playstation.  Consider it an updated version of WCW Superbrawl from the SNES.

(Oh – and if you dig such retro gaming crap, please to check out my new Etsy store, What Ganon Is Up To.  We specialize in such lunacy printed to high quality coasters!  Really, not joking.  You can check it out here.)

The video ends with the lighting rigs coming down, the ring getting torn apart, and everyone running for home.  Who could blame them?

Before YOU head for home though…wanted to let you know that next week we will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of the launch of WrestleCrap.com!  We have something super special planned, and we can’t do it alone.  Be sure to check it out!


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12 Responses to "INDUCTION: WrestleMania 93 Music Video – SEIZURE WARNING"
  1. Chris says:

    I mean, “peace pipes” are real things, although they should probably be referred to as a ceremonial pipe.
    They had other uses other than just being used for signing of a peace treaty.
    Not all cultures used them.
    They had specific names in different languages with different specific meanings, but “ceremonial pipe” would be the best translation for English speakers.
    The more you know!

  2. Sean Bateman says:

    Jimmy Jam was in the WWE with the Freebirds back in the 80s

  3. John C says:

    Wow, who would have thought Kamala was such a ladies man. Sure sounds like he was really into eating box. Maybe Bossman and Bret were getting ready to do an episode of Silk Stockings, where a rogue cop was going after a hit man who specialized in assassinating people with a Russian leg sweep, backbreaker, second rope elbow and sharp shooter combination. Sure it wouldn’t always be easy setting up his victims that way but it was his signature.

    Stay healthy and sane Wrestlecrap Universe.

  4. The Doctor of Style says:

    Fun induction, including your memory of your friend! Is he the one who wrestled as Trash Loseagain?

    Ironic that half the guys on the album cover didn’t wrestle at Mania that year.

    I too thought “SNES Superbrawl” as soon as I saw that split screen!

  5. John Q Occupier says:

    In the six panel split-screen, is that Tatanka wearing eyeliner?

  6. TV's Mr. Neil says:

    Wait. You mean to tell me this awful song (and Linda’s entrance theme) wasn’t inducted already??? Who fell asleep at the Net-Trolla to allow *that* to happen?!

  7. El Atomico says:

    Wow, seeing Jimmy Garvin on WWF TV is surreal

  8. Paul R. from Spook Central: The Ghostbusters Companion says:

    Here is the Wrestlemania music video:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSbyk0VReyo

    Like RD said, don’t watch it if you’re prone to seizures. Heck, even if you aren’t, it’s very vomit-inducing…as if the song itself wasn’t already.

    Nice to *finally* know who’s voice that was at the beginning. I wonder if Mean Gene’s “Who will survive?” soundbyte came from that promo, too. They could have brought him into a recording studio later to film that clip, lip-syncing to his own voice sample.

    — Paul

  9. Joe Greenhalgh says:

    Just by sheer coincidence, was watching survivor series showdown on the network, the show finshes with a vinette of the undertaker. Then if you leave it going, there’s a clearly unaired Boss Man Vs naliz match. Then, leave it going again and there is the entire Jimmy Garvin interview. It’s very entertaining.

  10. Thomas Moffatt says:

    I kind of think you missed a chance to reference Futurama and Kif being on the peace patch… Monkey Trumpets…

  11. Gerard says:

    can we just go ahead and call this years wrestlemania the 2020 gooker award winner?? because holy moses if wrestlemania is gonna look anything like this weeks episodes of raw-nxt-smackdown this is just a trainwreck of a mess add to that the show will be filmed over 2-3 seperate nights and its just an embaressment to the wrestling business been watching different wrestling shows since the 1980s and omg this is just about the stupidest thing i have ever heard of!! theres noway impact or aew can come up with anything more insane then what wwe wants to do with this wrestlemania show!! better to just go ahead and cancel/postpone the show then run this mess!!

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