INDUCTION: Scott Steiner’s Freak Show – The Greatest Workout in the History of Man

41 Submitted by on Thu, 21 May 2015, 22:23

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Workout DVD, 2009

It was about a year ago that I jumped on the Ice Bucket Challenge bandwagon, and released this video:

It was a silly attempt at making folks laugh, and the fact that RD Jr. can be heard giggling in the background throughout it is something that makes me consider it a success.  Of course, others didn’t view it as such.  For instance, to the gentleman that noted WrestleCrap hasn’t been funny since 2001, that’s your perogative.  Not sure why precisely you’d still be following the site fourteen YEARS later, but good for you.  I appreciate the support.

I also appreciate the kind words from someone named pinmike:

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The words are kind.

Inaccurate, but kind.

I’m not buff.  This guy is buff:

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(And here you thought I’d post a picture of the goofball in the top hat.)

I know I’ve made fun of Scott Steiner over the years, but it’s always been a bit tongue in cheek, as the dude embodies what I once viewed wrestling to be all about: crazy, jacked up lunatics you wouldn’t dare insult for fear of having your forehead meet your rectum up close and personal.  The dude may not be completely insane (though there is evidence in this here book that lends credence to the theory that he is), but he plays the part so well that you kinda have to believe that he just may be.

So when I heard this man had a workout DVD, was there ever a doubt I’d take the plunge and review it?

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Especially when it features a CARTOON SCOTT STEINER?

So yes, kids, welcome to Scott Steiner’s Freak Show, a workout DVD released in 2009.  No, I don’t know how it took me this long to get it either.  What I do know is now that I have it in my possession, I will never look anything less than absolutely ripped again, as I have the secrets to complete genetic freakatude at my disposal.  I’ve covered a lot of work out programs on here in the past, ranging back to the original Ultimate Warrior VHS (existing these days in the Archives) to the recently inducted Paul Orndorff: Fitness Trainer.  And there was also that completely bizarre one for kids with my buddy Roddy Piper in which he told the children…

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Those were all good.

But did any of them feature the host hoisting parts of old cars over their heads?

This one does!

In the interest of completeness, I will note that the video contains not just one workout routine, but FOUR: Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, and FREAK SHOW.  And sure, I could go over each and every one of those for you…

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…if you wanted to listen to Scott Steiner calmly explaining how to warm up your body while looking blankly into the camera.  But really, who could possibly want to waste their time reading such malarky as that?

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Yeah, I don’t know either dude.

So let’s just skip that crap and move right onto the main event, wherein Scott Steiner uses live women as dumb bells!

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Yay indeed!

(BTW, Taryn, you are currently my favorite woman wrestler on the planet.  Pity that Impact has been canned, that schtick with the Doll House is money.)

Ok, it’s time to get it on with Big Poppa Pump!

It’s time to do the FREAK SHOW WORKOUT!

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Unlike other training regimens you may have encountered in the past, the activities preparing you for lifting here consists of the Big Bad Booty Daddy riding around on a motorcycle with a nearly naked skank hanging on for dear life.  He then explains to “Kelly” that the workout she got last night was nothing compared to what was about to happen, followed by the most blatant AC/DC ripoff you ever did hear blaring in the background.

Soon enough, we are in the gym, and we’re joined by two more of Steiner’s freaks.

And as he begins to do some light bench presses, the girls urge him on with such inspirational vebiage as “you’re making me really hot right now” and “NICE!”

Heck yeah!

THAT’s a warmup!

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Soon the guy is benching enough weight to make Dino Bravo blush, which of course has the girls squealing in delight, giving our hero motivational speech as “PUSH IT BABY!

Mrs. Deal!  Get over here and drool all over me while I do some dead lifts!

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Next, Scotty eschews lame standard workout equipment for something a bit more manly. “I didn’t like that car!” he explains.  I’ve had a lot of cars I didn’t like in the past, but I never ripped the axle off them.

You know why?

Because I’M NOT SCOTT STEINER.

He also tells us he’s doing “curls for the girls” and then calls them each out by name as he does so.  What a romantic.

Tossing some heavy chains around is next.  How that would be superior to actually, you know, lifting actual weights is beyond me, but again, he’s Scott Steiner, so I kinda have to take what he is saying as sound fitness advice.

I mean, as he’s lifting, one of the girls appears to be face level with his crotch.

You ever had that happen to YOU at the gym?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Scott then explains that you need to have a big lower body to match your big upper body.  So he grabs some more weights and starts doing some wacky squats.  Now sure, that looks like a good work out for a normal man.

But as we’ve seen, Scott Steiner is no normal man!

So he beckons one of the hussies over so he can do this the PROPER way…

…with her straddling his shoulders while he does them!

You know, I’ve been going to Planet Fitness for nearly two straight years pretty much 4-5 times a week, and I’ve never seen THAT technique.  Guessing I need to be a Black Card holder to learn how to do that one.

As he wraps that up, he tells Kelly to go back to the hotel and get ready for him.  Going out on a limb here and guessing that he doesn’t mean to get changed so they can go to Taco Bell.  Before he joins her, though, he’s going to work out just a bit more.

And he’s going to work out by lifting GIANT LOGS!

“It’s a redwood, baby!” he dutifully notes.  So not only are we getting sage fitness advice, we’re learning the finer art of dendrology as well!

Finally, we reach the climax of the workout, with Scotty telling the girls, and I quote, “I NEED SOME SEX!”  This leads to not one, but TWO girls straddling him, as he works on his triceps.

Unbelievable you say?

No.

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

The routine ends the only way it possibly can:

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The girls leaving holding hands…

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…with Scott beaming in an absolutely giddy manner about doing such a good job.

Who can blame him?

And yeah, just for fun, he flexes one last time.

Why?

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Because it may be right…and it may be wrong…but at the end of the day, he’s Scott Steiner.

And we’re not!


 

Want to be cool like Scott Steiner?  Who doesn’t?!

Then check out his website and pick up this fantastic DVD!

At the very least, read the reviews, which include one guy telling us, and this is a quote, “THIS DVD WILL MAKE YOU GROW!”

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Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often). Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!
41 Responses to "INDUCTION: Scott Steiner’s Freak Show – The Greatest Workout in the History of Man"
  1. Skinnyfatass says:

    “Want to be cool like Scott Steiner? Who doesn’t?!

    Then check out his website and pick up this fantastic DVD!

    At the very least, read the reviews, which include one guy telling us, and this is a quote, “THIS DVD WILL MAKE YOU GROW!””

    If we want to be like Scott, won’t we need some, er, ‘chemical’ help?

  2. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    I’m disappointed that they don’t show the part where he (allegedly) fills up the syringe and injects himself in multiple places. (Okay, not really).

  3. AK says:

    So if I scream “I NEED SOME SEX” after a hard workout at the ol’ Good Life Fitness Centre and before I get escorted off the premises for shouting said declaration, I could in my defense proclaim;

    “SCOTT STEINER SAYS IT AFTER HIS WORKOUTS!”

    Failing that I can see how long I can last well anywhere with a T-Shirt that states I Need Some Sex. Although I imagine Scott Steiner will come after me for royalties and make me one of his skanks..

    Maybe I’ll just stick to what I usually do; not go to the gym.

    On a completely unrelated but I find amusing note. After I posted my Ice Bucket Challenge Video, someone commented that I got buff. This is not the case but hey if it works for RD, it works for me.

  4. Brian Belliveau says:

    Dammit Paul you beat me too it!!!!!!!!!

    • "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

      Sorry. 🙂 “It’s log, it’s log! It’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood! It’s log, it’s log. It’s better than bad, it’s good!”.

  5. Geoff says:

    Did anybody else notice Kelly’s tramp stamp tattoo on her lower back? No? Only me? Ok, evidently I need to lift weights more instead of looking at a young hottie’s tramp stamps. Mmmmmm hotties, tramp stamps, lifting 10x what you can actually do and Scott Steiner. That’s a good combination right there. A failure for us who go to the gym once a year but not for those buff guys who lift like Scott.

  6. Sean Bateman says:

    This sucks than the Paul Orndorff and Roddy Piper workouts. But better than the ones thet the èwacker, Hillbilly Jim and Phil Collins did combined.

  7. Preparation Triple H says:

    I did notice in the “I NEED SOME SEX!” gif that the girl on Steiner’s shoulders has a bruise on her right thigh. Maybe she got smacked by Scott’s chains in the previous exercise?

  8. John C says:

    Music provided by Man Mountain Rock, Van Hammer & Wolf Wilde. I imagine guys that buy this really like saying the word, “bro” a lot. And for the time ever it features Scotty perfoming in a scene with someone more wooden than he is, the girl watching him lift that log. She looks stumped.

  9. Jeff Harvey says:

    Here is a nice video break down of the workout video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsiArIagVO0

    Black out the pain! Make your body grow!

  10. CP says:

    Scott Steiner can bench press 495. At his age (or at least what he was then).

    I don’t care how you do it, bravo.

  11. Gotchism For Life says:

    I prefer bodyweight exercises myself, as Karl Gotch was a big proponent of them.

    I agree with Paul, Steiner will like be crippled in 25 years.

    I really wanted to comment more on RD’s Ice Bucket.

    It was goofy, but I loved the Simpson’s inspiration, all you needed was Brother Faith to get the bucket off at the end.

  12. Shockwave says:

    I can’t remember where I heard it, but apparently Scotts back is so bad, he needs help getting in and out of a car. His body is literally crumbling under the strain he puts it under.

  13. Philip says:

    Great induction, but Impact hasn’t actually been canned. Dave Meltzer got it wrong.

    Shocking, I know, but there we are.

  14. Terrence says:

    Ok, this NEEDS to be in “Someone Bought This”…assuming someone bought this. And I’m assuming that someone DID buy this because he’s SCOTT FREAKIN’ STEINER!!!

    http://shop.bootydaddy.com/Steiner-Animated-T-Shirt-SATS.htm

  15. Great induction but that Ice Bucket challenge video stole the show. How have I not seen that before? Cracked up when RD very calmly attempted to get in the family vehicle and drive to the hospital. And of course, “I didn’t even know he was sick” is in my opinion the high water mark in high brow comedy.

  16. The Dragonfly says:

    Even if I would like to do it, where would one get those big black chains he’s flinging around like whips. Does he tell you to say, “I got the hookup, holla if you hear me” when you do it? I love Scott Steiner. Go for the $1,000,000 Hogan, I have to see that.

  17. Drew says:

    I don’t need to buy Steiner’s DVD. After I saw this induction, I went out to the woods behind my house, felled a nice tree and dragged it home. My traps will be burning in no time! Next stop … took the truck down to the local junkyard and got myself an axle with the wheels still attached. Watch out, biceps, you’re next! Now, if I can only figure out where to find three hookers, I’ve got this workout ready to go!

  18. Mister Forth says:

    This is only equaled by his math in crazy greatness.

  19. gobias says:

    I NEED SOME SEX! WWWYKI

  20. Doc 902714 says:

    Now you can induct the Triple H workout video.

  21. J says:

    Stupid question but what dose t Warning say on the DVD cover

    • RD Reynolds says:

      “Warning: Viewing this DvD may cause an increase in muscle size, strength, and athletic ability.”

      Guessing you’d need more than just to VIEW it to get that, but what do I know?

  22. Anonymous says:

    This is hilarious.

  23. Thun says:

    It may be as wonderful as Orndorff’s one, it probably isn’t as wonderful as Orndorff’s one… but in the end, he’s Scott Steiner!

    Best induction this entire year!

  24. dude says:

    Just have to point out, never thought I’d read a sentence that RD wrote: “Ok, it’s time to get it on with Big Poppa Pump!”, and probably would’ve preferred to live my life without ever reading that sentence lol

  25. Rob says:

    Normally, I’m all for fun inductions, but this completely misses the mark.

    If you watched any of the other segments, you’d see it actually contains a real series of workouts featuring a woman or Scott Steiner showing an actual routine. The first segment, which incidentally people can watch online, shows Scott doing ridiculous things and acting like a douche. The remainders are actual routines, but I guess it’s ok to ignore that.

  26. Alexandru says:

    Actually some parts of this dvd actually consist of real, helpful workouts. Though I understand while it’s inducted since it has this goofy nonsense as well. People can say what they want about Steiner but while he’s a bit insane he clearly doesn’t take himself too seriously and is at least highly entertaining

  27. "The Big Cheese" Paul Kraft says:

    “Dendrology”! I learned a new word today! Who says WrestleCrap can’t be educational?

  28. Frank Miller says:

    After working out with a redwood, I was thinking Scott Steiner would announce that he needed to drop a log.

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