If there’s one thing in pro wrestling I will always love and never get tired of, it’s shows celebrating Halloween…and particularly costume contests inside a wrestling ring! I don’t care that I’ve inducted like 47 of them over the years, I will continue to hunt them down and every year you can pretty much bet that I will find another and it will make its way to the site.
Seriously, who could ever hate Layla as a MIME? (Or as AJ Lee called her on commentary, a “Sexy Skittle”?)
(I miss you, Deever. Come back soon. Like now. Immediately. I promise I’ll watch Raw live, TiVo it, and watch it on Hulu too just to make sure you get every credit possible.)
Today, we will journey back to Halloween 2010…in the land of NXT!
If you’re a noobie and think that NXT was always the weekly show featuring the likes of Shinsuke Nakamura, Asuka, Samoa Joe and the like, well…ummm…you’re a noobie.
And man have I become a terrible writer. Seriously, that sentence? What was up with that?
Anyway, NXT was originally a talent contest, in which various wrestlers, actors, athletes, whatever, tried to win WWE contracts. But the company didn’t feel safe letting unknowns out there by themselves, so they would pair them up with “pros” to show them the ropes.
Which was of course particularly helpful in the case of one Daniel Bryan, a lowly rookie who had probably wrestled around 6 matches in his life at this point, who was therefore instructed by a true ring general in the form of THE MIZ.
That’s a joke. Please delete the hate mail you had already started writing.
Additionally, don’t email me telling me how absolutely awesome Miz is these days. He’s better. There’s a difference between being great and simply improving. And you guys acting like he’s suddenly the second coming of Ric Flair are more than a bit out to lunch.
I will give him this, though – he’s an incredible troll. Want folks to hate you? Just go to Instagram and take pictures in your backyard.
You know, when this is your wife.
Ok, maybe he is great. Flair never trolled anyone to that level. Heck, he didn’t even deliver on those photos of Elizabeth at WrestleMania VIII. I mean, sure, she was WWF Liz and not WCW Liz, but still.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, NXT.
And a costume contest that looked something like this. Tonight, in this very ring, not only do we get the girls, but we get their pros watching live on stage! Let’s play an extra fun game tonight, as I try to remember who their mentors are as they are introduced.
Up first is Aksana!
She was from Lithuania and was a brunette I think for most of her WWE career. How I remember that I have no idea. Also shocking is that I recall her pro – Goldust. They wound up getting married so that she could have US citizenship and then she divorced him or something. Guessing that was probably induction worthy and I should probably put it on the to do list.
Game #2! I am going to guess what their costumes are! Let’s see, she’s wearing all red, and has horns growing out of her head. She also has a wand that looks like a W.
Can only mean one thing…she’s the Warlord!
Up yours, Goldie!
Tell me this isn’t overwhelming evidence of my logic!
Eh, you’re right. Hers was much smaller. And red.
Anyway, she’s apparently the devil. Time for the obligatory “sexy” dance!
Oof…that wasn’t sexy at all. Turns out those quotations up above were well placed.
Next up is…
….ummm…well, I have no idea. According to Matt Striker, her name is Maxine. I legit have zero recollection of this woman whatsoever. If I can’t remember who she is, then I am going out on a limb and saying I’m probably not going to know her pro. Just because she’s on my mind (as she often is), I’ll say Layla.
In lieu of some lewd gyrations, she opts to tells us that she would cause there to be cold water (??) and she wouldn’t want Striker to suffer from shrinkage. That there’s some patented WWE comedy, kids!
Oh, and it turns out her pro is Alicia Fox.
Who had pretty much the same reaction to that joke that I did.
As to her costume…no idea. So I am not only 0 for 2 on this one, I am actually 0 for 3. Apparently she’s an “ice princess”, which is unquestionably the lamest idea yet in any of these hootenannies I’ve ever covered.
But don’t you fret, as things quickly turn around with Kaitlyn! Everyone knows my affinity for this woman, specifically when it comes to Halloween.
Remember her as a penguin?
You should – I post that like every other induction these days. In fact, that image may be up there with Man Mountain Rock’s shoulder shrug as the most repeated image in WrestleCrap history. Doesn’t matter if you are sick of seeing it – I’m not, and sometimes you just gotta do one for yourself. Also gives me a good excuse to once more post a link to the WrestleCrap Saturday Morning Slam archives. Those really need to be added to the Network so we can have weekly viewing parties together.
Kaitlyn shows herself to not only be a great penguin, but the most amazing Vickie Guerrero ever by shoving Striker out of the way and launching into a very vocal “EXCUSE ME!”
I mean, sure it’s just screaming two words as loud as you possibly can, but Kaitlyn does it with such panache you can’t help but love her for it.
Kinda like you dig it (admit it, you do) when she throws in sultry little look that even as a parody was more alluring than whatever the heck Aksana was doing.
She wraps up by tripping over her own two feet and throwing a Vickiefit™. This impersonation is so spot on if I took my glasses off and watched from my couch, I may have thought it actually WAS Vickie.
As fun as this was, I have to admit that normally I’d take issue with them making fun of Vickie’s derrière. The catch here is I am not sure they were; I mean, you know, Kaitlyn is a bit…
…stocky, shall we say.
Next up, we run into the first of the contestants that are still in the company to this day, that being Naomi. In fact, let’s give her a hand.
And if you think that joke is terrible, she one-ups me with the following.
Naomi: “Matt, what did the glove say to the face?”
Striker: “I dunno, what?”
Ok, her joke is better…if only because mine didn’t give someone the chance to punch Matt Striker right in the face.
She then shills Hamburger Helper while doing a goofy little dance.
I should note that someone within this company apparently saw this jitterbug and…
…came up with this.
Not sure what even to think of that logic.
I could watch it for hours, though.
Next up is AJ Lee!
And she’s…the world’s worst Robin?
Actually, she says she’s a lion. Really, she does. Evidence.
No no no – she’s a NINJA TURTLE.
So why did you make that stupid joke about being a lion?
Yeah, me neither.
She then is given the floor to do her sashay, and it goes about as expected…with the added plus of her attempting to stab Striker.
Wonder what her pro thinks of this display?
Eh, about the same as me.
That’s kinda mesmerizing too. Don’t think I could watch it as long as I can watch the Funkadactyls, but I could down an RC and a Moon Pie looking at it.
Now I do think I should bring up a very important point here: these girls were trying to win a contest. Not just this costume one, but one in which they’d get SIGNED by WWE!
And this is what they came up with!
Was there ever any doubt who was going to win?
Kaitlyn not only won this goof fest, but also went on to win the whole shooting match, nabbing that WWE contract in the process. I mean, sure, they all wound up in the company, but seriously, good for her. She seemed to just look like she was having fun out there.
In fact, this whole bit was kinda fun. These things generally are, and this one was no exception.
That said, it did make me realize I miss a lot of things, though.
And Matt Striker being pummeled.
Probably the last one more than anything.
Happy Halloween, kids!