INDUCTION: Kurt Angle’s Last Match – The “You Suck” Chants Were Directed at the Wrong Guy Here

37 Submitted by on Thu, 30 January 2020, 22:18

WWE, 2019

I know it’s something of a running gag, but I really do love Kurt Angle.  From the time I brought up my fandom for him on an early WrestleCrap Radio to us actually doing “Move Set Radio” to mock me for talking like the uber nerd I am, I’ve been a mark for the guy ever since his earliest days.  

You may not remember it, but he was originally brought brought into the company as a purported babyface.  In his debut match against Shawn Stasiak (yes, he of Meat and Planet Stasiak fame), Stasiak grabbed a chin lock as the referee and Kurt appeared to have a lengthy conversation.  The legend is that the ref was giving orders to Kurt from none other than Vince McMahon who was in his earpiece.  Moments later, Kurt rolled out of the ring, grabbed a microphone, and explained to the crowd, “You do not boo an Olympic gold medalist.  You do not boo me.”

And we all know what happened from there.

An incredible run would follow those humble beginnings.  You want great matches?  He had them.  In droves.  Take your pick of opponents: Jericho, Austin, Benoit, Edge, Hunter, Rock, Shawn, Eddy.  

Comedy?  He excelled in that as well.  Even stuff that should have been completely idiotic, such as wearing a tiny cowboy hat while exclaiming “Yippy Ki Yay.”  Just now I literally went down the rabbit hole of him singing “Jimmy Crackcorn” to Vince McMahon in an attempt to cheer him up – and I laughed just as hard as I did the first time I saw it.

Kurt was great.

Eventually, though, Father Time wins every battle.  Following a (mostly) glorious twenty year career, it was time for Kurt to call it quits.  Fittingly, he would do so at WrestleMania 35.  The grandest stage of them after all played host to several other legendary final bouts, be those Shawn Michaels (well, he came back), Ric Flair (ummm, ditto), and others.  The big question: who would be his last foe?

John Cena?

Maybe an old Impact nemesis like Samoa Joe?

How about Daniel Bryan?

So many possibilities.

So many awesome possibilities.

But hey, this is 2019 WWE, so let’s just saddle him with this guy:

Yes, Baron Corbin.

Look, I get it – some of you love Corbin in a contrarian, potentially mental ill kinda way.  Me?  I find him pretty much everything that makes WWE often so dull these days.  And even his biggest supporter can’t possibly believe that the incredible career of Kurt freakin’ Angle should have ended with Corbin standing across the ring.

You know what else Angle’s final match should not have featured?

John “Bradshaw” Layfield as a “special color commentator”.  Why JBL of all people was out there to call this match will forever remain a mystery to me.  I mean, sure, Michael Cole rambled on and on about the sensational matches Kurt and JBL had together.  Apparently they were so sensational I left cannot remember a single one.

It was just another of seemingly countless things that marred what should have been a true celebration of one of my favorite performers ever.

That would be Kurt.

Not JBL.

Or Corbin.

Or Michael Cole.

Or whatever other idiot booked this match.

But Kurt comes out and he gets an insane amount of pyro and ballyhoo.  

Somewhere I have no doubt Vince Russo is nodding his approval.

But then the match starts, and despite the fact that Kurt Angle is one of the competitors, Baron Corbin is the other

I legitimately want someone, anyone, to explain what on earth Corbin is even supposed to be doing there.  I’ve been watching wrestling for over 35 years and I have never, ever, seen anyone do that.

WHAT IS HE DOING?

Oh…and…

WHY IS HE DOING IT?

This isn’t good, the match is only 45 seconds in and my blood is already rightly angered.

Kurt gets a bit of offense in before Corbin takes control of the match.  Comically at this point, Corbin tells the crowd they need to be quiet.

Dude, I don’t think you need to ask.

You’re Baron Corbin.

Being comatose is the audience’s natural reaction to you.

Corbin’s next idiotic move follows.

WHAT IS HE DOING?

Oh…and…

WHY IS HE DOING IT?

Wait, I just wrote that, didn’t I?

Thankfully, Kurt takes over on offense, and hits a trio of German suplexes.  To be fair, I should note by this time in his career, Kurt is way slower than he’s ever been…but still those Germans look pretty dope.

Speaking of dopes, Corbin is down on his back as Kurt goes for the cover.  This leads to another pet peeve of mine as the ref counts 1-2, and Corbin stares directly at the guy before kicking out.

In the interest of fairness, this isn’t just Corbin that does this – seemingly everyone in WWE looks straight at the ref when they are going to be kicking out before a three count.

It’s so dumb and absolutely takes any and all drama out of the match.  Screw learning where the hard cam is, teach the folks at the performance center to NEVER do that.  

Following a nearly completely botched roll up attempt, Kurt gets Corbin in an ankle lock, one of his finishers.  As you can tell, this match was pretty bad so far, but hey, send the folks home happy with Kurt getting the win, right?  Corbin’s back on Raw the next night, trying to keep the crowd from chanting “You Tapped Out!”  It would be just fine.

But no.  Of course not.  

Instead the match continues on, and Kurt is able to survive long enough to hit his ultimate finisher, the Angle Slam.  That’s gotta give him the feel good ending, right?

All you have to do is look at Corbin staring right at the ref as he starts to make his count to tell we’re not getting a happy smiley finish.

As the match drags on, Corbin gives the crowd and Kurt the John Cena “You Can’t See Me” taunt.  As noted above, Cena would have made a good opponent for Kurt.  But no, we can’t have nice things.  So Corbin does the taunt to mostly silence.  

It’s not that we couldn’t see Corbin…it’s that no one wanted to.

Kurt finally takes control with more Germans before looking to the top rope…with everyone in the crowd thrilled, realizing we were going to get one last gigantic Kurt moonsault.

And…

…of course, Kurt misses.

And then, just to make sure no one is happy, Corbin hits the End of Days and pins him.

Why?

Well, lots of reasons.

First, it’s something of a time-honored tradition to do the job on your way out.

Second, the company wanted to get more heat on Baron Corbin.

Third, WWE doesn’t necessarily want its fans to ever have a happy ending.  Sometimes they just want to proverbially spit in your face.

Like I said, lots of reasons.

Sure the reasons are all completely stupid, but they’re reasons nevertheless.

Following his defeat, Kurt gets a mic and thanks the crowd.  Meanwhile Michael Cole notes that Kurt has just become immortal.

You know, after losing.

What?

I often mock the stupid signs at WWE shows, but this one hits the nail on the head.

Truly, Kurt never sucked.

The company that booked his retirement match, though?

Yeah, they definitely sucked.


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37 Responses to "INDUCTION: Kurt Angle’s Last Match – The “You Suck” Chants Were Directed at the Wrong Guy Here"
  1. Sean Bateman says:

    Vince should let Kurt pick his final opponent.

    • Arcane Azmadi says:

      Kurt WANTED Cena. But Vince told him that he didn’t care whether this was going to be Kurt’s retirement match or not, he was going to face Corbin at WrestleMania after the year’s worth of buildup they’d put into it, whether he liked it or not. Kurt knew this was his last WrestleMania, he was too broken down to last another year, and he knew a hopeless cause when he saw it, so he just accepted it and did the job.

      Coincidentally, Batista and Triple H came to Vince as well because they wanted their match (Batista’s retirement match) to be a Hell in a Cell match to give it the level of violence it needed. And again, Vince nixed the idea because he wanted HiaC matches to be restricted exclusively to the PPV for branding purposes. So they made do with a No Holds Barred match and it was pretty good. But it definitely goes to show that Vince can’t be trusted to respect anyone’s retirement match any more (possibly he was disillusioned by Ric Flair going over to TNA after the classic retirement he was given).

  2. Chris V says:

    You know, I wanted Angle’s final match to be the one with Drew McIntyre from RAW.
    No, it wasn’t very respectful.
    It did make McIntyre look like a complete badass.
    He basically squashed one of the greatest wrestlers ever and made him tap out to his own finishing move.
    I mean, that’s the way you book a top heel.

    Besides, Drew McIntyre is someone who needs to be heavily pushed, so it would have been better than Baron Corbin as Angle’s final match.

  3. Raging_Demons says:

    Deal are you jumping in on the “Baron Corbin is Boring” train?

    Welcome to the club. By the way Baron Corbin hates people to call him boring. Myself and fellow wrestlecrapradio.com member RVM Kai were personally blocked by Baron Corbin because we mentioned him in a tweet that he was boring and boom! Block city on Twitter.

    By the way, Baron Corbin is in essence, a Human Jigglypuff. #BaronCorbinIsAHumanJigglypuff

    On “The Mike Check Show” we had made SO MANY jokes on how Baron Corbin put people to sleep.

    And unfortunately like this week’s induction no matter if Kurt Angle was in the match, Baron Corbin puts me to sleep.

  4. Christopher Olsen says:

    The funniest thing I’ve ever seen in wrestling was when Kurt wouldn’t wrestle Val Venis without wearing rubber gloves. It was so simple, but all these years later it still cracks me up. You deserved better than Corbin, but thanks Kurt!

  5. Tempest Fennac says:

    Kurt is probably my favourite wrestler so I can’t blame you for liking him from the start. The only times I remember JBL and Angle feuding was late ’04 when JBL was WWE Champion and he ended up in a 3-way feud which involved Angle and his buddies (Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrack) and The Big Show. They had a Last Man Standing match on Smackdown! just before the ’05 Royal Rumble which went to a no contest (the 2 of them had teamed up to brutalise Big Show and this match seems to have been booked by Theodore Long in an attempt to weaken them for the Royal Rumble Triple Threat title match which Bradshaw won with help from The Cabinet while BS was distracted by Reigns and Jindrack). This lead to the incredibly boring barbed wire steel cage match which main evented No Way Out.

  6. Christopher Haydu says:

    In my opinion, a wrestler on his way out should only be expected to job if he’s going to another promotion, or if he’s wrestling somebody who’s really a rookie. Baron Corbin has been in WWE for years already. This win over Kurt did nothing for him. That should’ve been the smoking gun for WWE right there. If Corbin wasn’t going to benefit from beating Kurt, they should’ve had Kurt go out on top.

  7. Jay says:

    From what I heard, the original plan was Jason Jordan being Kurt Angle’s final opponent as a conclusion to the father and son storyline they bombed in 2017. Jordan’s career-ending neck injury changed things, so they went with Corbin instead.

    • Guest says:

      That not only would’ve been dumb it also wouldn’t have made no sense as Jordan’s only interaction prior to his neck injury was with Seth, Dean, & Chad Gable.

  8. M says:

    At this point I’m just convinced that Corbin is a human wet blanket of heat; want to make Kurt Angle’s final match be a letdown, put him in the ring with Corbin, want to derail Seth Rollins momentum from beating Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania, put him in the ring with Corbin, want to screw up the so easy to book comeback of Roman Reigns, put him in the ring with Corbin and have him shove dog food all over him pal, want to tank ratings, make Corbin the show’s focal point

  9. Alucard says:

    Kurt Angle later stated in an interview that he actually approached Vince with the idea of Cena being his final opponent at WM 35, but Vince instead forced Corbin as the final opponent because in rare bizarre case Vince suddenly decided to care about continuity and feud they had during their time as GM, and that despite the fact that two of them already had few single matches on Raw which should have marked the end of whole feud.

  10. JW says:

    I think The Big Boss Man did a similar slide under the turnbuckle spot in his Wrestlemaina 7 match against Mr Perfect. But it looked way, WAY cooler when he did it.

  11. Christ de Burgh says:

    The biggest problem for me was that it didn’t really put Corbyn over, so it felt like a waste. Regardless of whether you like the guy (and I think he’s got potential based on his early run on Smackdown – he’s just a bit directionless at the moment and is still green hence the backlash) if WWE are really serious about pushing him, they need to just do it. It seems like they’re still not sure he’s ready, which may stem from him getting heat from Cena which led to him losing the MITB briefcase years ago. So the ending was booked far more to protect Angle than to help Corbyn, which is silly anyway given that Angle wasn’t going to be wrestling again any time soon. At least it was a clean win, but it didn’t elevate Corbyn and they’ve basically kept him in the same holding pattern since.

    In hindsight, McIntyre’s squash win should have taken place at Wrestlemania to really establish him as the next megapush. It would probably have been more effective than the rumble performance.

    • Guest says:

      Given how WWE has for the last few years been into the weird cycle of megapushing certain people then randomly cutting off at the knees it wouldn’t have really made much a difference when they pushed Drew.

  12. NiceGuyCody says:

    “Cena would have made a good opponent for Kurt”

    No, he wouldn’t.

    Look, I get it – some of you love Cena in a contrarian, potentially mental ill kinda way. The vast majority of wrestling viewers? We find him pretty much everything that made the WWE so dull for the past 20 years.

  13. K7 says:

    Corbin is a main reason why I have stopped watching WWE for the current time. There are heels, and then there’s massively bland heels.

    • Guest says:

      I mean we’ve had Brock Lesnar running around a massively bland heel that keeps winning titles far longer than we’ve had Baron Corbin with his nonsense.

      • Maverick MoPete says:

        On the other hand, Brock Lesnar makes so few appearances that it’s not nearly as annoying as seeing Corbin show up week after week after week ad nauseum.

  14. Joe G says:

    JBL Vs Angle last man standing on SD was pretty good.

  15. Thomas Moffatt says:

    One of my biggest peeves from this year’s WM was the result of this match AND the time – 6.05 minutes. Triple H and Batista get nearly 25 minutes and poor Kurt gets to job to Boring Corbin in just over six…

    Mind you it was longer than the IC, US and Universal title matches – the Shane McMahon match was longer than all those combined…

  16. John C says:

    It’s beginning to get difficult to remember a way back time when there wasn’t some tedious version of King Corpsan vs Roman Reigns on WWE tv. Good heavens it is a top contender for worst sports entertainment feud of all time. Kurt Angle was as good as a total package that ever existed in the business and deserved far better than that poop show of a final match. Rewatch all his great moments instead of polluting your memories with that nonsense.

  17. Presidente Clinton Dempsey says:

    Mania XXX pulled the same shit with Lesnar beating Taker, just so that Bryan’s win over Evolution ended the show on a happy note. Now that I think about it, this was probably Steph’s idea all along – have Baron Corbin win for the sake of Lynch counterbalancing the fans’ emotions of Angle’s abysmal exit by beating Rousey with a whimper of a finish. Absolutely genius booking, Nipple Ache. Have the least prominent member of the failed Women’s Revolution win the main event over the biggest female draw in wrestling history, all because you lost to her the previous year.

  18. Cuthbert says:

    “seemingly everyone in WWE looks straight at the ref when they are going to be kicking out before a three count…. Screw learning where the hard cam is, teach the folks at the performance center to NEVER do that. ”

    Well, they do it for a specific reason. To quote this induction: “Sure the reasons are all completely stupid, but they’re reasons nevertheless.”

  19. Lee W. says:

    The problem with Corbin as I see it is that he likes to go by the adage “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” but the key is to recognise what’s broken.

  20. Woodring says:

    Kurt Angle’s retirement was better handled in Impact Wrestling.

  21. Eviltwin says:

    They seem surprised their business is struggling yet seem to actively hate their audience.

  22. Jay says:

    Shelton Benjamin would’ve been a good ‘last opponent’, given their history as Angle Followers and “The World’s Greatest Tag Team”. Plus, Benjamin’s own amateur wrestling background. Hell, give him a match against Ziggler. That guy makes anyone look A+. But Baron Corbin? Against a LEGEND like Angle? AND he does the job? Tragic.

    They could’ve even brought Big Show back, given Angle the chance to go out with a win against a former World Champ. Show’s a company man, he’s got no problem doing the Job.

    Vince just had to give Kurt one last F.U. on his way out the door.

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