INDUCTION: Hulk Hogan’s Most Egotistical Match!

75 Submitted by on Thu, 05 September 2019, 20:00

WCW, 1995

Pretty sure I’ve written this before, but over the years, the perception I have of wrestlers I used to mock has changed.  Generally that’s due to the fact that I find something admirable or at least comical about folks that I ripped to shred in the past.  For instance, once upon a time I had no use for say, the Warlord.  For whatever reason, now, years later, I think about his ridiculous outfit and wish that I too had a magic W wand.

I may even go as him for Halloween.  Pretty sure I could fashion that entire ensemble together for about $4 with a trip to Hobby Lobby and Kroger.

But perhaps what I am referring to holds true for Hulk Hogan more than anyone else on planet earth.  I used to despise how, in my perception, he would always ensure the spotlight focused on himself no matter what the cost to the promotion he worked for as a whole.  But now when he spins yarns of slamming a 800 pound Andre the Giant two days before he died at WrestleMania III, I cannot help but chuckle.

Well, until I think of crap like we’re about to discuss today.   Then I just kinda shake my head and remember what drove me to bury him so often years ago.

So yeah…let’s journey back to a time when there was nothing more gigantic than Hulk Hogan’s sense of self worth.  Welcome to January of 1995…and the Hulkster’s most egotistical match!

A tiny bit of backstory: following his legendary run in the WWF, Hogan and Vince McMahon had come to something of an impasse.  Vince felt that Hogan was too old to draw for him.  He was, after all, an ancient 40 years old in 1993.  You’d never see Vince putting anyone that old in featured main events today after all!

So Hogan left for the greener pastures of WCW and proved, of course, there was still quite a bit left in the tank.  While Hulk was the first to join the ranks of WCW, it wasn’t long before he brought his friends along with him.  Jimmy Hart was a natural, and since Vince had in his head that Randy Savage was also too fossilized to do anything in the WWF, he joined the fray as well.  Their long-term on-again, off-again relationship was doing well at this point as there was money to be made.  The Mega Powers were reborn as the Monster Maniacs, and while some folks thought that was a dumb name, let’s be serious, it’s not like “Mega Powers” was some literary masterpiece.  Anyhoo, on this night Hogan and Savage had united to battle the evil Taskmaster Kevin Sullivan and The Butcher, who y’all would remember better as Brutus Beefcake.

Oh and sitting in the seats at ringside?  That would be Hogan’s freshest and most natural foe in WCW, Big Van Vader.

Now for those of you who only remember Vader from his somewhat forgettable WWF stint, let me tell you – the early 90’s WCW Vader was an absolute beast.  He would beat the crap out of his opponents, and half the time, it wasn’t a work – he’d just legitimately pummel guys.  I am not really condoning this type of behavior, but I will say it added a level of excitement that was otherwise lacking from cartoonish acts that were beginning to permeate WCW cards.

Cartoonish acts such as the Faces of Fear.

Look, I get why the Dungeon of Doom / Faces of Fear existed – Kevin Sullivan explained it very clearly at the first ever Starrcast WrestleCrap panel.  As he was the booker, he was going to do everything in his power to make Hulk Hogan feel comfortable in the company.  What better way to do this than by wheeling out over the top characters like those around whom Hogan built his great  WWF run?  And so we got what felt like a rehash of something a lot of folks, myself included, no longer wanted to see.

But there was one guy that absolutely did want this.  His name was Hulk Hogan.  So that’s what we got.

And make no mistake about it – this was a very typical Hogan match.  Punch punch punch, eye rake eye rake eye rake, bite bite bite, never taking a step back.  Poor Ed Leslie didn’t get a single offensive move in the first five minutes until somehow miraculously he was able to slap on his finisher, the sleeper hold.

His FINISHER, I say.  

Remember that, it’s important.

So he locks it in, and Hogan collapses to the mat.  Now standard wrestling officiating would have the ref checking Hogan’s arm, with the WCW rulebook stating that should the arm fall limp three times, the man applying the hold would be the victor.  Go check it.  Rule 14, section 9, page 287.  It’s in there.

But that’s not the case tonight.  

Instead, Beefcake has Hogan flat on his back and simply gets up and raises his hands in the air.  He didn’t pin the guy.  He didn’t make him submit.  He just had him on the ground and decided to celebrate as though he’d won.

As Beefcake and Sullivan both celebrated their non-victory, Randy Savage goes into a panic, jumping into the ring and slapping Hogan about trying to wake him up.  When that fails, you can see the wheels start spinning in the Macho Man’s head: gee, what on earth would cause Hogan to completely regain his energy?

SPOILER ALERT: NO SELLING SOMEONE’S FINISHER!

And thus Randy Savage goes to the top rope and drops an elbow on the Hulkster.  No, he didn’t turn on him – this was how he REVIVED THE GUY.

Sure, there’s your GIF.  You’d think after nearly 20 years of me writing this crap you’d just believe me without visual evidence.  Whatever, there you go.

Eventually, though, the bad guys do take over.

And by that I mean they beat up Savage, not Hogan.  Seriously, you thought the Hulkster was going to look weak even for a second against these guys?

Against ANYONE?

Instead, Savage is beaten pillar to post, being launched over the top rope and then lying in the corner as Kevin Sullivan grinds his boot into the poor guy’s throat.  And if that wasn’t bad enough, soon enough we got this:

Yep, some kind of quasi sexual pull the train double team maneuver.  

I don’t know what that’s called.

Pretty sure I don’t WANT to know what it’s called.

But since I’ve not given away a free WrestleCrap archive pass in a while, what the heck – give it a name in the comments below.  One that makes me laugh the hardest wins.

Back to the match, and well…yeah, you know how it ends.

What’s weird is right before this, Savage dropped his elbow onto Beefcake.  But…it didn’t revive Brutus.  Ummm…what?  

It just left him laying on the mat?  

Who could explain such nonsense?

Yeah.  

What you said.

So thus far, Hogan essentially no sold Beefcake’s finisher.

He not only no sold Savage’s finisher, it somehow brought him back to life.

Surely Vader, who attacked Hogan after the match, would have better luck, right?

Well, no.

Instead, Vader power bombed Hogan, who immediately got up and no sold it too!

THREE FINISHERS, ALL DOWN THE DRAIN, IN THE SPAN OF TWENTY MINUTES!!!

And if THAT wasn’t bad enough, poor Leon also split his pants in the process.  

Sheesh.

Here’s the most insane part of all of this: Vader was truly a big money opponent for Hogan.  As I said before, fans believed this guy was a brute and wanted to see just what would happen when Hogan faced him in the ring.

In under thirty seconds, we all found out.  Nothing would happen, because Hogan was completely invincible.

Shame.  

Would have been nice to see just how high these guys could have gone had the Hulkster’s ego not derailed the feud from the start.


And thus endeth another WrestleCrap induction!  Thanks for joining us today, we hope we made you laugh once or twice.  If so, would you please consider donating to our Patreon?  We have nearly two decades of goodies in our archives, as well as exclusive RD & Blade Shows for those of you kind enough to float a few bucks our way. Best of all, you will help us pay the bills and keep the site alive.  Find out more by clicking, you guessed it, rightchere!

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Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often). Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!
75 Responses to "INDUCTION: Hulk Hogan’s Most Egotistical Match!"
  1. Chris V says:

    I don’t know. It’s hard to beat the Uncensored “Doomsday Cage Match” for Hogan’s most egotistical moment.
    Hogan and Savage destroyed, basically, the entire heel locker room in one single match.
    They even made Flair and Anderson look like jobbers in that one.

  2. Randall Singleton says:

    The Human Centi-FacesofFear-Pede

  3. John C says:

    Vader-Sting matches in 1992-94 era were so great. Then The Hulkster came along brother and Vader might as well have been Killer Khan or Kamala that Hogan squashed on house shows around 1986. Vader was just a great pure heel but Hulkster just blew that character up and outside of his few months with McMahon was all done, and not even Well Dunn.

  4. mfm420 says:

    and with that no sell, vader was 100 percent justified in refusing to do a pin job for hogan (hell, wcw changed their policy on cages match as a result).

    well, til 96 at least

  5. John C says:

    As for the Butcher-Taskmaster double team move name, how about The Cocker Dropper?

  6. Big Bad Booty Stepdaddy says:

    finisher name huh? I’ll give it a go

    Day of Rectum-ing
    Feces of Fear
    The Gay-llotine
    Tainted Love
    Chocolate Rainmaker

  7. Lord_Darth_Yoda says:

    Snapping the Slim Jim?

  8. Cameron A. says:

    The Orgasm-Harmonizing Clamp Against Machohood

    Hey, it isn’t Kevin Sullivan if there isn’t at least ONE backwards acronym.

  9. Steve Conlon says:

    I wanted to call it the “Hold me, thrill me, pants me drill me” in honor of the U2 song but that came out years later so I don’t think that can count.

    The Dungeon of “Boom Boom”?
    The Booty Man’s Booty Plan?

    FACES OF REAR!!!!!

    I dunno pick one of those.

  10. Canadian Paul says:

    The Chokoplower.

  11. Joe says:

    that move would be called the H-(Gang)Bang

  12. Joel P Partyka says:

    Mah Gawd, they just hit Savage withe the DP of Doom!!!!!

  13. Plastic Diver Guy says:

    I call it the “SNAP INTO HIS SLIM JIM!”-slam.

  14. KHRISTOPHER BELL says:

    Prostate check

  15. #OPC says:

    The Candlestick Maker!

    Because, you know, the butcher, then I guess we have the BAKEmaster…

    I’ll show myself out.

  16. Mighty Vastardikai says:

    The Eiffel Tower of Power.

  17. Alex says:

    I don’t think that’s one move. I think they’re going from a Snapping Into a Slim Jim to a Backdoor Mailman.

  18. Brother Bruti says:

    That maneuver is the seldomly whipped out Taskmaster Ass Blaster.

    And I always thought Ed Leslie was The Booty Man.

  19. Issac Yankem D.D.S. says:

    Brother Bruti and the Taskmaster are giving Randy the old “Kalamazoo Crooked H”.

  20. James Y says:

    I’d call it the “San Fran Poke in the Can”

  21. Stephen Kong says:

    Megasexual.

  22. Hrhhercules says:

    The big gay beefcake pull

  23. Adam w says:

    Simply “The Spitroast”

  24. Jim says:

    The move where Savage is getting spit-roasted by two well-oiled, muscular tough guys? I’m pretty sure that’s “Stephanie’s Revenge.”

  25. Stone Cold Warlord says:

    Poffo-matic Trouble

  26. JW says:

    How about the “Double H 2 H” for “Hershey Highway to Hell”?

  27. Carl Zayas says:

    The Butcher, the Baker, The innocence taker?

  28. Carl Zayas says:

    The Butcher, Brownie Baker, Innocence Taker.

  29. The House says:

    Obviously that tag-team wrestling/adult film move is called “The Eiffel Tower of Terror.”

    PS: To whom do I confess my childhood sin of having Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake as my favorite professional wrestler? I confessed to my priest, and I was excommunicated.

  30. Rusty Priske says:

    Andre the Giant died at Wrestlemania III?!?

    • Sgt. Tubs says:

      Yup, just hours after getting slammed for the first time ever in front of half a million people at the Superdome… whoops, I mean the Silverdome, brother.

  31. Brad M says:

    Terry Garvin School of Self Defense, Scenario #832

  32. Jon Lipscombe says:

    That move’s gotta be called Finger Cuffs – any Kevin Smith fans on here should get that reference.

  33. DP says:

    No Holes Barred?

  34. Jesse Hicks says:

    The Christmas Cracker

  35. Jimbob Jones says:

    The 2, 4-inch pythons

    The A-Train

    The Snap Into It

  36. Enhancement Talent 3 Mark II says:

    Hot Beefcake Injection?

  37. Al Boondy says:

    The Butcher, the Baker, and the Daisy Chain Maker

  38. jerm says:

    Plungin’ of Doom

  39. Barry says:

    Name of the move: The Asses of Fear

  40. James Moorhead says:

    The Faces of Fear Dungonmaster Butcher Booty Call of the Zodiac

  41. Christopher Haydu says:

    Actually, the photo above that sex move looking double team maneuver where Sullivan has his calf over Savage’s face, it looks like he has a giant red donger with yellow semen dripping out, doesn’t it? That, taken with the photo above that of Savage bent down against the turnbuckles as Sullivan stalks him from behind make it look like Sullivan had more on his mind than wrestling!

  42. Sid Bridge says:

    Spitballing here…
    “The Fleshlight of Fear”
    “The Randy Baby”
    “Oooooh yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh”
    “Kevin Sullivan Using Randy Savage as a Dildo on El Leslie Just to Piss Off Elizabeth”

  43. brad essex says:

    The demon threesome deathdrop.

  44. CF says:

    Is it me, or does that first pic make Hogan look like Gallagher?

    “Whatcha gonna do , brotha, when Sledge-O-Matic runs wild over *you*?”

  45. Sam Hershey says:

    The Colon Cleansing Leg Split of Fear

  46. Mav says:

    Nice induction, RD. I also thought of the two against eight Uncensored embarrassment. And the Hogan-Vader strap match where Flair took the fall. And WM 9. Lotta options with good ole Terry.

  47. Matt McGovern says:

    The Sexual Wheelbarrow.

  48. Andrew Graziano says:

    The fudge covered four handed credenza

  49. Ryan McCormick Price, Esq. says:

    I think it’s fairly clear that move is a tribute to both the Barber and the Taskmaster:

    SHORT IN THE FRONT, LONG IN THE FEEEEEAR

  50. BigPoppaNasty says:

    The Beefing Gasmaster.

  51. Chris says:

    The old Double Underhook “The Real Reason They Killed the Varsity Club.” I can actually hear that in Bobby Heenan’s voice…

  52. Pete says:

    The WrestleCrappy Taffy Puller

  53. Guest says:

    “A tiny bit of backstory: following his legendary run in the WWF, Hogan and Vince McMahon had come to something of an impasse. Vince felt that Hogan was too old to draw for him. He was, after all, an ancient 40 years old in 1993. You’d never see Vince putting anyone that old in featured main events today after all!”

    Laughs in Undertaker (42,44,51) Shawn Micheals (41,44) Triple H (46) The Rock (40) Batista (45) Brock Lesnar (40)

  54. StewPac says:

    They’re giving Savage the Prostate Powerslam! One in the pie-hole, one in the poop chute!

  55. Acolyte of Glorious La Parka~ says:

    EVERY Hogan match is his most egotistical match.

  56. Absent says:

    The Alliance to Rear-end Hulkamania

  57. Doc 902714 says:

    The triple chocolate moss covered family credunzle or Hold #3 on Jericho’s list of 1004 holds.

  58. C Boz says:

    I call the move:

    Ram-The-Puff-O

    Say it fast.

  59. Adub says:

    How about the ego stroke?

  60. Dean says:

    And you people thought the devil’s threesome was bad, but this right here is the dreaded “BRO-GA-TROIS”

  61. mitch says:

    That’s the dreaded Rear Admiral Milhouse mentioned once, long ago.

  62. Wrestle me elmo says:

    They should call it the complete and utter evisceration…. oh wait Eric B already claimed that name after what he did to RD at Starcast.

    Man that was Savage. Please induct.

    Thanks!

  63. scott says:

    Best part of this induction is the joke about hogan slamming andre 2 days before he died….

    i remember seeing a video where hogan (and vince) stated that andre was not only ailing at wrestlemania 3 (whoch was true) but that he ‘died shortly after’ (which wasnt)

    so in this narrative hogan beat a guy on his deathbed and the guys ghost wrestled for another 3 year years and won 2 championships….

  64. Big G says:

    I always forget how short Kevin Sullivan was.

    And “The Health Check”

  65. Jonfun says:

    The tag team move is obviously The Ultimate Bridge to Nowhere of Doom!

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