INDUCTION: The Blindfold Cage Match – So Bad You’ll Wish You Really Couldn’t See

39 Submitted by on Thu, 30 May 2019, 20:00

TNA Impact, 2007

I went to AEW Double or Nothing Saturday night.

I say that not to make you jealous, but because believe it or not it actually ties into tonight’s induction.

No no – I am not inducting AEW’s first ever PPV. No way, no how. It may have been the best show I have ever been to in my entire life.

Actually scratch that – it WAS the best show I have ever been to in my entire life. And I’ve been a wrestling fan for over thirty-five years. There were a ton of reasons why I loved this show – the matches were awesome, the pacing was great, there were no stupid never-ending interview segments, and every match felt different. It didn’t hurt I was also sitting right next to Stu Saks from Pro Wrestling Illustrated (!!!!), which was mighty cool as well.

But more than anything, it was due to a completely rabid fan base, one who was going insane at nearly everything that was presented. And I mean EVERYTHING. When Awesome Kong was announced as a surprise, two people in the row in front of me literally jumped in the air and started hugging each other.

I mean, I like Kong just fine, but seriously fondling your neighbor because she showed up was kinda wacky and weird.

And look at that guy’s face! That is pure unadulterated joy (and yes, this was Moxley walking right in front of my seats – thank you, Conrad!). Everyone in the building seemed to have the same reaction throughout the night. It was like, after years of slugging it out to keep our fandom, someone listened and gave us something that was at least in the ball park of what we wanted.

I think what we wanted the most was an alternative. We wanted a real number two promotion that could provide us something different, something we could enjoy. Believe me – AEW has a HUGE uphill battle ahead of them and their shows haven’t been perfect. I have no idea if they will make it long-term. But a company that looks to have even the slimmest of chances of competing with Vince is something I know I can get behind.

Especially when the last one that had a shot became an utter laughingstock.

Seriously, how do we not have more TNA inductions on this here site?

Especially when they presented utter nonsense such as a blindfold cage match.

Let me repeat that – a BLINDFOLD CAGE MATCH.

The backstory: James Storm and Chris Harris were known as America’s Most Wanted, and were one of the most popular teams in TNA history. They won the company’s tag belts multiple times. This despite the fact that Storm apparently couldn’t be bothered to wear the strap right side up. I don’t remember, that may have been part of the gimmick – he was a beer swilling cowboy after all. Maybe he was just drunk.

After dominating the division for years, the decision was made to split them up, and as usually happens, it didn’t end with a handshake and a pat on the back. Instead, Storm took a beer bottle and smashed it into Harris’ eyeball, nearly blinding his old friend.

How did TNA promote such a dastardly act?

With a video featuring an eye chart, of course! If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all these years of watching wrestling, it’s that nothing spurs you to exact revenge like the inability to read line four at the optometrist.

Prior to the match, Harris explains to us in the most monotone manner possible that his vision is very impaired, and that he could lose it all. He does it in such a manner that makes me more concerned he’s going to fall asleep than never see again.

Regardless, there’s only one way this rivalry can be solved: by climbing inside a steel cage for battle.

And then putting on masks so you can’t see each other and are thus unable to battle.

Ah TNA…when are you going to finally die so Bryan and I can write that book about you?

So the match starts and the stupidity continues, with Mike Tenay explaining that due to Harris’ visual impairment, commissioner Jim Cornette would not allow a match between the two.

Let me get this straight: Storm wearing an eye patch and wrestling wasn’t safe. But putting a hood over his head so he cannot see at all, then placing him inside a cage, is completely fine. I will never understand OSHA compliance.

The match is not even 90 seconds old before we get our first “FIRE RUSSO” chant this evening, as well as a loud “BORING” to boot. These would be followed up by a “We Want Wrestling!” plea from the crowd.

Like seriously, you folks bought tickets to a TNA event! You ask too much!

So this would be every blindfold match you ever saw, with the standard heel attacks referee because he can’t tell the difference between a 5’6″ official and his 6’5″ opponent. What’s different in this instance is that the ref spins Storm around after he frees himself from Storm’s grasp. Have to assume that he saw the blindfold and thought Storm was going to hit a piñata.

No, that can’t be. Even the worst child’s birthday party I ever went to was better than a night of TNA action.

The fine production of the company soon rears its ugly head as well, with the masks literally falling off the guys. Storm does his best to play up that he’s cheating, but throughout the encounter both guys see their hoods fall off. So whatever psychology we could possibly pretend this match has is completely gone now as well.

The stupidity scale nearly pops a coil as we get our next spot, wherein Storm starts climbing the cage.

Climbing the cage.

In a blindfold match.

I feel like I am getting dumber just by watching this.

And now it’s Harris’ turn to attack the ref, putting him in the sharpshooter. Or Scorpion death lock if you are a bigger fan of Sting than Bret. Sting also used it earlier than the Hitman if I recall. Of course, it was invented by Riki Choshu prior to either guy in the US using it so we should probably bring that to your attention. Ron Garvin used it as well, but pretty sure no one remembers that.

Can you tell I am avoiding talking about this match?

This fiasco mercifully comes to an end when Storm simply removes his mask, flips Harris off, then super kicks him into oblivion. Hopefully he didn’t kick him in the eye, or it’ll be back to vision center for poor Chris Harris.

So yeah. This was your number two promotion to WWE for the past decade and a half. Is there any question why folks are so excited for AEW? Gotta believe they won’t do something as idiotic as a blindfold cage match.

No wonder this guy has the o-face!


And thus ends another WrestleCrap induction! We hope you enjoyed it and it made you laugh once or twice. If so, we urge you to donate to our Patreon. Not only will you get exclusive goodies such as patron-only inductions and RD & Blade Shows, you will be helping to keep WrestleCrap alive for years to come. Get to clickin and keep on crappin’!

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Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often). Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!
39 Responses to "INDUCTION: The Blindfold Cage Match – So Bad You’ll Wish You Really Couldn’t See"
  1. Alfonzo Tyson says:

    Speaking of TNA inductions and o-face when is Brooke Hogan getting inducted?!

    And yes, I am very, VERY happy for you and jealous of you st the same time for getting to All In.

    • PS2kid says:

      Brooke Hogan did nothing during her time on TNA. Just had a wedding with Bully Ray that was ruined by Aces and Eights. Might as well induct the Aces and Eights here.

      • Alfonzo Tyson says:

        The fact that they made her head of the Knockouts division…with absolutely ZERO wrestling experience and just about as much charisma should be induction-worthy by itself.

  2. Jimbolian says:

    Ya know, if the cage was actually the Red Bird Cage of Doom (TM) featured in Monday Night Impact, this easily would have won Gooker 2007.

    Also, when can I catch the replay of Double Or Nothing? I’ve been a Wrestlecrapper for quite a long time and that’s quite the endorsement sell job I’ve seen ever!

  3. #OPC says:

    What about when Sting got hit in the face with gasoline and was blind for like three weeks? Then I think that happened to some kid in real life, and he was fine in like two days?

    • kmtown says:

      I’m old enough to remember the Foreign Legion Hood match between Dick the Bruiser and Sgt.Jacques Goulet.At least the hoods they wore had holes that went under the arms.

  4. C Boz says:

    I remember Rugged Ronnie Garvin using the “reversed figure four” in his WWF stint circa 1989, and even before then. In fact during his feud with Greg Valentine, at WrestleMania V their blow-off match was pitted as a figure four vs reverse figure four contest given their finishing moves. Who would apply his dreaded finisher to defeat his enemy? Heck I could look it up but frankly I don’t care thirty years down the line (gulp).

    On the flip side of things I remember, that was the WrestleMania that had the Super Power explosion title match of Hulk vs Macho Man. I remember that one well as its lead up included a debate of whose corner would feature the lovely Elizabeth. Randy’s frequent guttural insistence of “Elizabeth’s mine, yeah!” remains etched in my brain… and in my vocabulary. My wife’s name is Elizabeth and every once in awhile I cannot help but to go all Macho Man and utter that same phrase. To no one in particular. At random times. And yes it is rather sexist. But funny… even my lovely Elizabeth thinks so.

    I ran into Randy in a bar in NYC right before WrestleMania X there – he was with Ted DiBiase and Scott Levy who actually joined the live band to sing “Roadhouse Blues”. Yes, Randy actually spoke with that exact same voice. Actually, a girl I was with (not Elizabeth) ran into him, literally. Which led to an interesting conversation. But that is a story for another day.

    Oh… comments on the inducted Blind Fold Match? Like you RD, I am avoiding that.

    • C Boz says:

      Oops, my memory is not so good! I recall it now. That Valentine-Garvin match was AFTER WrestleMania V in April 1989, but it was televised. And it was a retirement match The Hammer won, leading to Ronnie becoming a referee for a while. Later they had a submission match at a pay per view, and that is what I remember from above. Please forgive me, RD and all ye Wrestlecrappers!

      • El J says:

        I remember the submission match, it was at a Rumble PPV. At the time Valentine was doing the gimmick where he would adjust his leg brace to increase the pressure on the figure 4. As a counter Garvin put on his own leg brace that rendered the figure 4 ineffective. All these years later I still can’t work out the physics that made it work.

        • Thomas Moffatt says:

          It was the 1990 Royal Rumble. I recall the PPV well as it had a real stinker of a match between Brutus Beefcake and the Genius. I remember Mr Perfect’s promo after the bout which I’m pretty sure inspired Killer Cadoogan’s post match rant in the “Mad Dog Hoek” episode of the Ren and Stimpy Show…

    • The Gold Standard says:

      The Greg Valentine and Ronnie Garvin feud was when Greg Valentine was wearing that stupid catcher’s shinguard because it made his figure four more lethal. So Ronnie Garvin started wearing the shinguard because it made him immune to the figure four. So Ronnie Garvin introduced the “Hammer Jammer” or the reverse figure four. It was quietly ended after that

      Like RD, I feel dumber that I remember that

  5. Michael Sypher says:

    I ain’t jealous, I was also there!

  6. Not gonna get approved says:

    I threw up in my mouth right in the beginning of reading this induction where you’re sucking AEW’s dick. It saddens me to see that you were bought. You even thanked Conrad. Truly sad….

    • RD Reynolds says:

      LOL absolutely fact, sure, whatever.

      Yes, AEW HAS BOUGHT ME OFF…by providing good wrestling and never giving me a dime.

      • Gerard says:

        Aew just opened up they have plenty of time to do some stupid things. who knows Aew might be the company to knock Wwe off the mountaintop or they can quickly fizzle out and be gone out of business again by next june theres no way to predict it!!

  7. Guest says:

    Ron Garvin used it as well, but pretty sure no one remembers that.

    Kind of like the Garvin stomp which is now the “Orton Stomp” in some places.

  8. Josh Owens says:

    Watched TNA at time. Forgot this ever happened. Thanks alot for reminding me of it. *clicks pen* You just made the list.

  9. Gerard says:

    i would say TNA is in fact dead!! when i think of tna i think of stuff like dixie carter jeff jarrett 6sided ring and pay-per-views like lockdown and bound for glory. i would say that impact is nottttt tna as it has none of the things that made tna well TNA!! So you guys who wanted TNA to die have gotten your wish that company is dead and Impact has risen from the ashes as a bigger better more serious company!!

  10. Richard Phillips says:

    The blindfold match, where the only people eager for the blindfolds are the audience.

  11. CF says:

    http://wrestlecrap.com/inductions/six-sides-of-blindfolded-steelthe-most-brutal-blindfold-match-ever/

  12. William Bird says:

    Not sure why youre waiting on the Death of TNA. Sure it’s still alive, but it’s been brain dead for years. JJ going full carny with the GFW/impact fiasco is easily 2 chapters worth of material and really the time of death for TNA as it hasnt been the same since.

    • Evan Waters says:

      Just call it “The Fall of TNA.” It’ll never not be accurate, and every few years you can publish an updated version.

  13. Paolo says:

    Strange-looking cage too. I take it’s from the TNA Lockdown with the electrified cage gimmick too? The one where they had to pump “electricity” sound effects into the arena. That one got a hearty round of “Fire Russo” too I’m sure.

  14. Barronmore says:

    I watched the show and really enjoyed it. It was a solid night of wrestling and I agree with everything you said. The pacing really reminded me of NJPW’s pacing of their cards and it was just a great night of solid, in-ring action. I still enjoy NJPW more (the BoSJ26 has been fantastic) but i’m a fan and am looking forward to more AEW.

    My wife on the other hand loved it. She’s not watched a full wrestling show with any interest since two years before WCW folded and just kept commenting on how much she was enjoying it.

    One question:

    It looks like the show was about 5 hours long and i know you and many others have said these longer shows (such as the last few years of wrestlemania) were to long. Did you feel that way about Double or Nothing?

  15. Edward K. Motley says:

    My first memory of the Scorpion Deathlock/Sharpshooter was when the Red Rooster used it during his WWF stint, “Cock-of-the-Walk.” Pretty sure no one remembers Rooster winning matches.

    • Don townsend says:

      The only time Rooster won had to be against jobbers. I don’t remember him using the deathlock but his supposed finisher was called the Rooster Wing…..some kind of behind the back overhead hammerlock

    • Joeg says:

      Was watching an old prime time the other day and Rooster won with “cock of the walk”

  16. CLS says:

    Best wishes to AEW in the long run. Hopefully, WWE would finally man up and listen to its fans instead of replicating WCW’s dying years.

    Egads, watching that blindfold match back then really was painful – typing for a 1000-word essay looked better than this.

  17. Braeden says:

    “We need more TNA inductions!”

    *Does the same TNA induction teice*

  18. TerrierChad says:

    That match was terrible. All I can remember from that show was this and the electrified steel cage match. Sweet jesus.

    Glad to see AEW get om terrestrial TV here in the UK. Missed Double or Nothing as I was working sadly. I just hope the AEW fans, at least the ones I’ve come across, aren’t going to carry on being so bloody insufferable though.

  19. Dr. Gonzo says:

    The sharpshooter and the S.D.L are not the same. Deathlock is applied standing and uses a side-step and the torso usually used to apply pressure against the inverse foot of the opponent, whereas the sharpshooter is a hold, drop and spin, usually using only your arms. Chonsu also used a slightly different hold.
    Why no, I’m not a nerd at all.

  20. adam says:

    I occasionally wonder whatever happened to Chris Harris.. and then I remember stuff like this.

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