Induction: Drake Maverick’s Urine Trouble – The Author of Pee

15 Submitted by on Mon, 09 March 2020, 20:19

WWE, 2018

The topic of tonight’s induction may be only a year or so old, but for me, it’s still long overdue.

As a long-time critic of urine in wrestling, I see the leaky misadventures of Drake Maverick as a golden opportunity to rail against WWE’s gratuitous use of pee-pee.

The story began at Survivor Series 2018, when Raw Tag Team Champions AOP (formerly Authors of Pain) took on Smackdown Tag Team Champions The Bar. To counteract the wily 5’4” Drake Maverick in AOP’s corner, The Bar enlisted the 7-foot tall Big Show.

Once Drake interjected himself into the match to cost The Bar a pinfall…

…Big Show sprang into action, chasing down the little dude and locking him in a chokehold. That’s when Drake’s basic animal instincts kicked in. Faced with a matter of fight or flight, Drake’s body chose a third option:

Pee his pants.

Now, as pro wrestling doesn’t lend itself to subtlety, Drake began audibly squealing, “Oh no! Oh no!” and took a big ol’ look at his crotch.

As Big Show stood in amazement, Sheamus and Cesaro arrived on the scene to examine the situation.

Yep, those pants are pissed alright, Sheamus thought, as Cesaro facepalmed.

“I guess it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on”, quipped Corey Graves.

I know at least one wrestling manager who’d disagree.

Ever the pro, Maverick continued to sell his accident, clutching his pee-pee pants even as he fell off the apron.

Taking advantage of the distraction, AOP put away their Smackdown counterparts and picked up the victory.

Now, this isn’t the first time we’d seen a character in WWE pee their pants in fear. Vince McMahon did it all the way back in 1998.

Speaking of Vince, Drake’s pee stain clearly had McMahon fingerprints all over it (in a manner of speaking). Vince wrote this exact scene in No Holds Barred, albeit with a different bodily function.

Now, if Drake’s pee-party seemed a little underwhelming, it’s because the fake-urination mechanism hidden under his clothes failed.

That meant that Drake had to piss himself for real. If you’ve ever had trouble going at a urinal when someone’s standing next to you, please give Drake Maverick here a round of applause.

No, really. Stop reading right now and clap for this man.

If ever there was a “brass-ring” level performance to impress Vince McMahon, this was it. Yet the WWE title still eludes Mr. Maverick…

Backstage in catering the following night, Drake was the butt of a lot of jokes. One guy told him to try the peas. You know, like pees?

They hired a guy from the 2011 season of Tough Enough to come to Raw just to laugh at someone peeing their pants.

Drake started to stand up for himself to Rhyno but, deciding to pick on someone his own size, instead got in Shorty G’s face.

(Answer: Not particularly)

After Gable’s tag team partner Bobby Roode attempted to substitute the word, “bladder” for the word, “better”, Drake told him, “You’re in trouble!

Big mistake. “You’re in”? “Urine”? Like, pee-pee?!

Roode and Gable spelled it out for him:

Incensed (or pissed)…

Get it?

…Drake agreed to a non-title match between his Authors of Pain and Roode & Gable.

Perhaps distracted by the chants of “A-O-Pee-Pee”, big Akam fell prey to a sunset flip by Gable.

This victory earned Roode & Gable a tag team title shot, proving once and for all that bullying pays off.

That match, which took place the following Monday, didn’t go the challengers’ way, however, as Drake Maverick set out to dampen the mood.

Drake, suddenly enamored of Roode’s $10,000 dollar robe, stole it and did the unthinkable.

No, he didn’t flash Bobby Roode.

He dumped it in the toilet and took a leak on it.

I won’t go into much detail, but suffice to say that Drake had been well-hydrated.

If WWE Creative had any backbone, they’d put their foot down and stop these bathroom storylines.

For one thing, it’s a real safety hazard to risk Vince laughing himself to death.

Drake’s flagrant pissing extinguished Roode and Gable’s hopes of winning the tag team titles…

…as AOP quickly disposed of them.

Roode and Gable weren’t about to take Drake’s golden shower lying down. The following week, they showed up to Constable Corbin’s office in a foul mood.

You know, perturbed. Upset. Angry.

And what do you think Corbin had to say about their indignation over the urine incident? C’mon, have a guess.

Have a guess!

“I know you’re a little… *ticked* off at the way Drake Maverick treated your robe.”

And that was honestly the funniest, most clever joke in this whole fiasco.

Corbin gave Roode a match one-on-one with Maverick, but pulled the old switcheroo, changing it to a 2-on-3 handicap match that saw Drake Maverick make the pinfall.

Finally, the week after that, Corbin booked a rematch with the tag team titles on the line…

…which Roode & Gable won by pinning an overconfident Drake Maverick.

It was a feel-good win, but I can’t help but feel it should have been saved for the pay-per-view six nights later:

Tables, Bladders & Chairs.

I came up with that one myself.

Call me, Vince.

Written by

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He also runs the "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws. Follow him on Twitter @Art0Donnell. Email at: art@wrestlecrap.com
15 Responses to "Induction: Drake Maverick’s Urine Trouble – The Author of Pee"
  1. Thomas Moffatt says:

    The Bang 3:16 still makes me laugh to this day as did Vince pissing himself… as did Jim Ross’ tale of Vince fouling himself moments before walking to the ring to give a promo… incidentally, I am currently unemployed, do you think I have a chance getting a job with WWE? I’d be keen to write a Nipple H fouls herself angle…

  2. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    You forgot to mention the time in 2002 where Austin urinated on Arn Anderson. Interestingly, in a later segment, Crhis Benoit said that “Tonight, Steve Austin is about to flush his entire career down the toilet.”
    That show ended up being the last one Steve Austin would appear on before he “took his ball and went home” (as The Rock put it) for about seven months.

  3. John C says:

    How about a storyline involving Mr. Maverick repeatedly failing to win the Incontinental Title.and his career depends on winning The King of The Toilet Ring tournament.

  4. #OPC says:

    I’m just gonna repost (repissed?) my comment from the last urine thread:

    “Someone suggested to me to put on a CD and give to someone all of WWE’s “Peeing On” matches. The object of these matches was too pee on your opponent (or at least pee in a cup and throw it at your opponent). There had been like 10 in WWE history, the first one in 1986 featuring the Big Show and a tag partner vs. the Iron Sheik and his partner. There was also one in 1999, which featured (I believe) Big Show again, Triple H, Booker T, and Rey Mysterio. Not quite sure who was tagging with whom for that one. I think the last one took place either that same year or in 2001, with Billy Gunn in the match. The 1986 one somehow featured Michael Cole on commentary as it transitioned into the 1999 version. Anyway, Aerosmith (or maybe Rush) did covers of these matches in music form, then 10 other bands did covers of these (no idea which bands). I expressed my gratitude for all of this by attempting to pee (or at least throw a cup of pee) at the Titantron that was playing the matches above my garage.”

  5. Si says:

    Remember when Chad Gable was a highly impressive obvious future star?

  6. CF says:

    The Gooker Award for 2018 should have included this — it’s a…

    [sunglasses]

    …NUMBER-ONE CONTENDER.

    B)

  7. Al Boondy says:

    “That meant that Drake had to piss himself for real.”

    Nope, no way. I REFUSE to believe this is true, and not just some urban legend.

  8. Chris V says:

    Then, Chad Gable did the story-line where he was being bullied for being, well, not six foot.
    We were supposed to feel sorry for Gable.
    If I were writing this show, I’d have had Drake Maverick show up out of nowhere and say, “See? It’s not so funny now, is it?”.
    Of course, I’m pretty sure Drake Maverick was getting bullied for being short around this exact same time, but because Maverick was a heel, we were supposed to enjoy Maverick getting made fun of for no reason.

  9. El Atomico says:

    “That’s good shit, pal!”

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