Induction: Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon – featuring Triple B, Linda McMahon

19 Submitted by on Thu, 26 July 2018, 20:00

WWE, 2003

With Summerslam – the biggest party of the summer, if you hadn’t heard – just weeks away, it’s time to revisit a forgotten feud from 2003’s edition of The Biggest Party Of The Summer (Summerslam).

It was a mature feud for mature audiences – mature audiences who loved mature women.

As you’ll recall, Kane, having recently been unmasked, was on a rampage in the summer of 2003, destroying everyone in his path. That included CEO Linda McMahon…

…who, despite the courageous efforts of John Laurinatis…

…fell victim to a Tombstone piledriver when Kane dropped her within a foot of the steel stage.

Consequences would be swift, or at least as swift as possible on a weekly TV show, as seven days later Vince McMahon showed up to deal with the Big Red Machine face to face.

Vince really meant business (casual).

But it turned out, Vince wasn’t even mad. In fact, he liked the idea of having a big man like Kane under his control.

(At least, that’s what I hope he meant)

Somebody who wasn’t so ambivalent about Linda McMahon’s well-being was her and Vince’s son, Shane…

…who showed up for the first time in ages to wrangle with the one-eyed monster.

The next week on Raw, Shane demanded a match with Kane from GM Eric Bischoff, who denied the request under Vince’s orders.

When Shane refused to leave, Bischoff threatened him with the same martial arts skills he never got to use on Vince McMahon at Slamboree 1998.

Before a fight could break out, co-General Manager Steve Austin stepped in… to stir the pot even further, claiming that Eric had the hots for Shane’s mom and her ilk.

“Big-breasted” was the exact phrase. And just like that, the main event was set.

Bischoff warmed up with some back-leg front-kicks…

…then put them into practice against his opponent…

…but they proved no match for the world-famous Shane Punches.

Kane arrived on the scene, only to himself fall to the pummeling dished out by the Boy Wonder.

The Big Red Machine recovered enough to deliver another Tombstone, depositing Shane indirectly on his head onto the steel steps.

Eric Bischoff, who competed in his leather jacket the whole match, scored the easy pinfall…

…then celebrated while sporting a stylish blood mustache.

Kane, also the victim of a stiff McMahon shot, earned a bloody lip for his troubles. I guess Roman Reigns was right about Irishmen and potatoes.

At his first opportunity, Bischoff expressed not just his admiration for the big-breasted Linda McMahon, but also his disdain for Shane McMahon, who he claimed only got to where he was in life because of his last name.

(Whereas Bischoff’s last name certainly didn’t do him any favors)

With Shane vs. Kane put on the back burner in favor of RVD vs. Kane, a Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff rematch was scheduled for Summerslam.

And that’s when things got weird.

Eric interrupted Linda McMahon’s satellite interview, showing up in her Greenwich home and repeatedly insisting that, although he was going to hurt her son at Summerslam, right now he was there to “please” her.

Easy E ramped up the aggression by restraining Linda and hanging up the phone when she tried to call security. It was just him and her, all alone, said Eric, forgetting the cameraman standing a few feet away.

After a commercial break, said cameraman went right on doing his job, knowing that his boss valued journalistic objectivity above even her own safety as an intruder implied he was going to rape her.

Want to get even more uncomfortable? When Linda tried to slap Eric, he grabbed her arm and stuck it behind her back…

…and reiterated what a “big-breasted beauty” she was.

There’s really no way do downplay how horrifyingly creepy this all was, especially when, over Linda’s complaints of physical pain, Eric leaned in and kissed her right on the lips…

…then “invited” her to join him in the bed room.

In 2003, Bischoff thought he could get away with this, as the #MeToo movement wasn’t around. Oh, and because Linda McMahon wasn’t a White House Cabinet member yet.

At least Shane McMahon was irate, calling Bischoff a “motherf—-er”, somewhat accurately.

He then stole a fan’s car and drove from Grand Rapids, Michigan to Greenwich, Connecticut.

That Sunday, Eric bragged to the world that he and Linda had sexually done it (sexually) many, many times…

…likening her to “a hot, juicy, delicious filet mignon”.

This set Shane off, fueling McMahon’s early advantage over Bischoff. Jerry Lawler wondered what Eric’s “backup plan” could possibly be.

It was Coach.

Yes, the dorky announcer, who made his debut not just as a wrestler that night, but a heel wrestler at that. Talk about a dumb surprise.

This would be like if Mongo McMichael left the announce booth to become the 4th Horseman.

Bischoff then announced that the match was now a no-DQ, falls-count-anywhere match before cutting off JR and Lawler and handing Jonathan Coachman the microphone for live commentary.

And it was brutal.

Doing his worst Jim Ross impression, Coach declared that Bischoff was stomping Shane like a government mule. Holy mixed metaphors, Ex-Lax!

Before the serious sports analyst Coachman could explain that all those kicks to the stomach were good for Shane because they gave him a chance to catch his breath, McMahon fought back.

Co-GM Steve Austin then arrived to clean house, but Coach reminded Austin that he couldn’t touch him unless physically provoked…

…so Shane pushed Coachman into Austin, who proceeded to whip a mudhole in him.

Shane then grabbed Eric Bischoff so he could “slap” Austin, Weekend at Bernie’s-style…

…leading to a stunner…

…and paving the way for a big flying elbow drop…

…which, when followed by a half-assed – nay, quarter-assed – cover, spelled victory for Shane O’Mac.

But this most uncomfortable storyline wasn’t finished just yet. The next night on Raw, Chris Jericho invited Linda McMahon herself onto the highlight reel to spill the beans about what really went on with Eric after cameras stopped rolling.

Of course, Linda claimed security simply arrived and escorted Eric Bischoff off the property (To jail? Nah).

But, refusing to let Linda have the last word, Vince McMahon arrived, again in a polo shirt, to claim responsibility for letting Eric Bischoff into the McMahon house in the first place and declaring that he would face no punishment whatsoever for forcing himself onto Linda.

Yes, Vince McMahon went on record and proudly admitted to being, as they say on the ‘net, a “cuck”! And all along we thought he was just a run-of-the-mill pervert.

And I’ve got to say, Vince McMahon the person has an odd way of getting revenge on his former rivals. If someone had told you in 1998 that within 5 years, there would be only one major wrestling organization, and that Eric Bischoff would be scripted to kiss both Vince McMahon’s wife and daughter on TV, which promotion would you think won out?

Shane McMahon had some choice words for his dad (“Asshole” is a choice word) before being double-teamed by Vince and Jericho.

His feud with Jericho was cut short, however, when Kane interfered in their ensuing match…

…and then fell to his death into a flaming dumpster.

He was fine.

But that’s another induction for another time, and as RD Reynolds will soon be rendered unable to ever write again after being embarrassed by Eric Bischoff at Starrcast’s Death of WCW panel, I will need to write twice as many articles as usual from now on.

Written by

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He also runs the "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws. Follow him on Twitter @Art0Donnell. Email at: art@wrestlecrap.com
19 Responses to "Induction: Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon – featuring Triple B, Linda McMahon"
  1. Sean Bateman says:

    thanks for reminding us about this, Deal.

  2. #OPC says:

    I miss the Jeritron 5000! Damn that cowardly Sean Michaels for trying to escape by jumping through it!

  3. Unknown says:

    When Eric Bischoff made that quote comparing Linda McMahon to a “hot, juicy filet mignon” and compared eating hamburgers to it (what analogy was HE making, BTW?), it reminded me of a quote Paul Newman once made about his longtime marriage to Joanne Woodward and how he remained faithful to her despite starring with some of the more attractive stars of his day in movies: “I have steak at home. Why should I go out for hamburger?”

    That was an interesting quote, and more interesting than any quote in this story. God, 2003 was a horrible year for WWE, wasn’t it?

    • Art0Donnell says:

      Eric was making the same analogy, wondering why Vince would want hamburger on the road when he had a delicious Linda at home.

  4. RD Reynolds says:

    I am so glad you are here, Art, to start doing double duty once my writing career ends at Starrcast.

  5. Jonathan Michaels says:

    And I was just talking elsewhere about how underrated that match was.

    Also, I don’t care what anyone says, that Coach heel turn was one of the best ever.

  6. Mav says:

    When you said Coach arrived, I immediately thought of Coach John Tolos! That would have been much funnier.

    Also shades of the horrendous Undertaker/DDP feud where Vince has the hot wife (um) that Eric is head over heels for. Right.

  7. Johnny Ace says:

    My brain had deleted this feud. Thanks to you guys, the nightmares will continue from this day forward.

  8. Jason S says:

    It’s been speculated for years, but it’s now official…

    James J. Dillon is a vampire.

  9. Al Lobama says:

    How about that? Chris Jericho’s most annoying catchphrase on his podcast (hibbity dibbity) actually originated on a 2003 episode of Raw. At least he wasn’t banging a cowbell when he said it the first time.

  10. CF says:

    At least Bischoff never mentioned Arby’s.

    >:)

  11. JH says:

    Speaking of Raw in 2003, one overdue induction has to be the Test/Steiner/Stacy angle, or as I called it, The Misogyny Connection

  12. ClawsomeMan says:

    Heel Johnathan Coachman must be inducted, because his badness was everywhere in 2003-04, even in that stupid WWE Day of Reckoning Game.

  13. Joe says:

    I was honestly reading this wondering how this made air. Also loved the coach joke!

  14. Gerard says:

    wow how big of a scumbag is old Vinnie Mac?? hes like Sure eric you wanna come into my house and attempt to rape my wife, i’ll leave the door unlocked for ya!! then he has no problem with eric beatting the shit outta shane. then he lets the undertaker kidnap stephanie and tie her to a burning cross!! so he can carryon a feud with stone cold!! there was a popular story i dunno if it was true or false that stephanie was going to become pregnant but nobody was sure who the father was?? it would have been revealed that vince had forced himself on his own daughter but someone with a cooler head said uhm no vince we cannot do such an insane storyline!! So yea vince may just be the most rotten person on the face of the planet!!

    • tmm says:

      The word you are looking for is more perverted than rotten

      • Gerard says:

        a thought just occured to me while re-reading this induction vince is scum, eric is a perv but you know who as bad as both of these two?? the person behind the tv camera!! he is told ok we are gonna film this scene live in the macmahon mansion, Eric is gonna come in grab linda and try to rape her and we want you to film it so that we can broadcast it live on raw!! i dunno shouldn’t the cameraperson oh i dunno try to get involved!! instead they are ok i’ll just stand here like a dummy and film while this guy tries to rape this 50year old woman and i won’t try to help her!!!

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