INDUCTION: The WWF Invades the Macy’s Day Parade – But No Gooker? For Shame!

19 Submitted by on Wed, 21 November 2018, 18:15

WWF, 1994

Two weeks ago, I inducted the worst War Games match ever, featuring the Ultimate Warrior and friends doing everything they possibly could to completely destroy what was one of wrestling’s truly legendary matches.  At the end of that article, I noted that in two weeks I would induct the follow up to that fiasco, Warrior vs. Hogan II.  What I failed to realize when I made that promise was that it would wind up posting on Thanksgiving.  Well, for us Americans at least.

Decisions decisions.

Long story short, I have opted to push that induction back a week instead of posting something that most folks would flat out miss.  But don’t you fret – I have something arguably even better, and if not superior, well, at least more in spirit with the holiday at hand.  After all, what could get you more in the mood to gulp down turkey than the Macy’s Day Thanksgiving Parade…featuring the Superstars of the World Wrestling Federation!

Really.  This is something that happened.  And I didn’t even know of it prior to the latest Purple Stuff Podcast where they made note of it.  So thankee, Jay and Matt, and fellow Crappers, give it a listen.

For those unfamiliar with it, the annual Macy’s Day spectacular is the largest and darn near oldest parade in the entire world, nearly 100 years old at this point.  Every year the streets of New York are lined up with floats, balloons, and celebrities.  So while the idea of the WWF being involved isn’t to be entirely unexpected, I dunno…to me it still kinda is.

Maybe it’s something where I can buy a 40′ balloon of Barney the Dinosaur, but Vince McMahon’s crew waving to folks on the street not so much.

But hey, it happened.  And there’s Barney looming over the float, looking like he’s ready to devour it.

Upon closer inspection, one may wonder why the WWF would have a float with baseballs and footballs flanking it.  The reason for this is rather simple – it’s not a WWF float at all.  Instead, it’s a float for the New York Daily News.  So if you are wondering why a hockey mask wearing Jason is hanging out with your favorite WWF Superstar, the answer would be that he is actually The Slammer, who did a wrestling column for the paper at the time.

No idea why there are random children hanging out. Guessing maybe they were the newspaper staff’s kids or something.  That or they won (or perhaps lost) a contest of some sort.

But hey, I for one am kinda glad it’s not an officially sanctioned WWF float.  If it were, I sincerely doubt we’d have gotten Davey Boy Smith shucking and jiving next to a giant apple.  The only thing missing here is Howard Finkel identifying it as such.

But no, we didn’t get the Fink.  Instead we get MUSIC!

In this case, it’s a 10 second loop of the WrestleMania theme.  AKA, Linda McMahon’s theme.  AKA, the dirt worst music you ever did hear. I don’t know how long that parade route is, but I would have gone quite literally insane having to listen to it nonstop the whole time I was on that float.

Which may well have been the case with Paul Bearer and Doink, who were looking to have the absolute time of their lives together, slapping each other on the back and hugging and all that jazz.  Seriously, had this clip gone any longer, I wouldn’t have been shocked to see them making out.  One can only surmise that Paul had filled the urn to the brim with vodka.

I also love the fact that Dink is almost completely obscured by a novelty baseball bat.

I mean, I’d have loved it more if the kid in the red hat had beaten him with a real baseball bat, but I guess that wouldn’t have been in the spirit of the holiday.

Speaking of the spirit of the holiday, here’s the Undertaker!

I’m not saying that Undertaker didn’t look like he was having a good time but…well, I have no way to finish this sentence.  Maybe Paul and Doink coulda shared their booze with the poor guy.

In hindsight, it’s really too bad there were so few guys on that float.  Imagine if the WWF had really gone full bore, bringing in all the geeks they had on the roster at that time.  This was after all the era of the NEW GENERATION!  This seems to be a wasted opportunity.

Not having the Gobbeldy Gooker goes without saying, but imagine Duke “the Dumpster” Droese throwing garbage to the kids on the street as Sparky Plugg drives the float recklessly down 34th.  Rick “The Model” Martel spraying folks with Arrogance…while simultaneously telling them they could buy it at the makeup counter at Macy’s.  The Mountie screaming at people that Thanksgiving was weeks ago!  Luke and Butch licking Al Roker’s head!

Ok, maybe we should instead be thankful of the things that didn’t happen!


Actually, one thing I am very thankful for – the support of our fellow Crappers!  Why not join us on the WrestleCrap float by throwing a buck or two our way and helping to keep the site alive by clicking here?

Written by

Yeah, you know...the WrestleCrap guy. Been here since before day 1, I have. You can hang out with me on Facebook. (I'm on there quite a bit) or follow my exploits on Twitter (I'm on there not quite so often). Thanks, and Keep on Crappin'!
19 Responses to "INDUCTION: The WWF Invades the Macy’s Day Parade – But No Gooker? For Shame!"
  1. Kev says:

    I kind of miss the old days. No, not the Attude Era, the days when WWE didn’t put an LED display on freaking everything.

  2. John C says:

    If they would kept the Gooker around then you could have had various smaller people dressed as worms coming out of the giant apple. Since the parade is in the morning than the early bird gets the worms.

  3. Erich says:

    I….
    Oh god, I remember this!
    It was such an un-WWF float for them to be on. I mean, I didn’t expect a wrestling ring on wheels or anything, but this felt like they were last minute replacements for Yankees or Mets who canceled.

  4. Raging_Demons says:

    I had to triple check it but in one of the gifs, add a new term. Razor Ramon Thanksgiving Parade Boner!

  5. Arya Witner says:

    I swear I am watching Survivor Series 1994 as this posted and they were plugging the WWF on the float for the next day. Also we got The Slammer in our local paper, usually on Saturday’s, until after WrestleMania 17

  6. Sean Bateman says:

    Canadian Thanksgiving is on a October Monday, Deal. As a Canadian, for the past little while, I been eating Gooker for Thankgiving. Thanks, Steph.

  7. #OPC says:

    No new WWF Champ Bob Backlund? I guess he was still walking to MSG all the way from Texas.

  8. El Atomico says:

    Who’s the guy with the hockey mask?

  9. KatieVictoriasSecret says:

    They were definitely invited back for a second go-round that involved them hauling around a singer. I have a very specific memory of the second float involving a recently-injured Kurt Angle grimacing and leaning against a prop chair while tapping his foot along to the music.

    ETA: yep, Googling got me to the 2001 parade. Lilian Garcia was the singer! And Vince was on the float.

    My favorite bit of the above clip is definitely Davy Boy trying to be super into it.

  10. Roland Smitts says:

    According to Bruce Prichard everyone was pissed about having to go here in the deep Northeast freeze the morning after a PPV, straight off the plane. Only ones happy were Vince and Linda…and I guess so were Doink and Paul Bearer, considering how much vodka they seem to have consumed.

    Rumors years and years back were a Hulk Hogan float was being considered for the parade. I forget when exactly. No idea what happened with it.

  11. Captain Obvious says:

    Very nice to see that Mabel also made an appearance as Barney the Dinosaur.

  12. That Don Guy says:

    Macy’s Day? MACY’S DAY?! And not just once, but Three Times?

    Just for that, the bacon-wrapped turkey gets wrapped in turkey bacon this year!

leave a comment