Induction: Hulk Hogan’s autobiographies – Have pythons, will (time) travel

29 Submitted by on Thu, 22 July 2021, 20:00

2002, 2009

I first bought Hollywood Hulk Hogan, the Hulkster’s 2002 autobiography, late last year (along with The Rock Says…). Obviously, I was shopping for WrestleCrap induction fodder. But weeks went by, and nothing arrived; my shipment had gotten lost in transit. Naturally, I used my refund to re-order the books, which arrived the next week. 

A few weeks later, my original order arrived; now I had two copies each of two crappy wrestling books. As if it weren’t bad enough for a houseguest to see these books on my shelf to begin with, imagine having to explain why I had duplicates!

To make matters worse, when I actually read the Hogan book a few months ago, I was disappointed to find that it didn’t quite merit an induction of its own. Sure, it was self-serving and riddled with errors, fibs, and exaggerations, but most of the real whoppers I had heard about (like Andre the Giant’s weight or Hogan’s exploitation of time zones) were nowhere to be found.

And no, I couldn’t just double my word count by inducting both copies of Hollywood Hulk Hogan; that ended up being unacceptably repetitive.

But a few weeks ago, I saw Maffew tweet an excerpt from Hulk Hogan’s other book, the deceptively titled, My Life Outside The Ring, and I knew what I had to do.

That’s why this week, I’m inducting two different Hulk Hogan autobiographies, which, read back-to-back, are even crappier than the sum of their parts.

Childhood

Despite being a “fat kid”, young Terry Bollea still achieved some legendary feats, such as batting an “unheard-of” .714 in the Little League World Series. In fact, it was so unheard-of that to this day, the Little League has no record of a Terry Bollea ever even playing in its World Series. His cross-town rivals of West Tampa did make a few appearances there in the sixties, however. I can see how the Hulkster might have gotten confused.

In high school, Bollea never wrestled, except for one day in the gym locker room when his gym teacher (also the wrestling coach) made him wrestle a recently graduated “champion of champions”. Not only did Bollea pin him, but he also pinned his gym teacher right afterwards!

Though Hogan didn’t wrestle in high school, he was a lifelong fan of pro wrestling, growing up watching his hero Dusty Rhodes on TV. In fact, it was at Hogan’s first live event (when he was nine or ten) that the young Hulkster saw Dusty Rhodes beat Dory Funk, Sr., and he’s been hooked ever since.

Virgil “Dusty Rhodes” Runnels wouldn’t even debut until 1967, when Hogan was 14, so we’ll have to assume he’s talking about Dusty Rhodes the baseball player.

As for academics, the only class Hulk excelled in was math.

Creating Hulkamania

Eventually, Hulk would become a wrestler himself, first becoming a wrestling star in the WWF, then becoming a mainstream star in Rocky III. Luckily, Sylvester Stallone was a really good sport, because if word got out that Hogan had powerslammed Sly so hard that blood squirted out of his mouth on impact, Hulk could have been blacklisted from Hollywood.

Hogan’s appearance in Rocky III did get him dismissed from the WWF by Vince McMahon Sr., so Hogan moved on to Verne Gagne’s AWA. Eventually, however, Gagne demanded a substantial cut of Hulk Hogan’s merchandising and overseas paydays, so Hogan decided to leave. To sign him back to the WWF, Vince McMahon Jr. flew to Minneapolis personally, which was risky considering that “Minneapolis was a very small town” back in 1983…

…so “everybody knew everybody else’s business.”

Vince, Jr. signed Hogan with the promise of making him champion. Unfortunately, in Hogan’s version of events, Vince Sr. was still in charge, and he was skeptical of Hogan. After all, former champion Bob Backlund was in his ear constantly, complaining that Hogan was no good. Bitter Bob did not want to pass the torch to the incoming star, refusing to tag with Hulk Hogan…

…or even appear on camera with him…

…but Vince Jr. eventually convinced his dad to do the right thing for business and make Hulk the champ.

Hogan won the title, but at the next TV taping caught Vince Sr. in the bathroom pissing blood. It was then that he realized that the boss had cancer. Shortly thereafter, Vince Sr. died, leaving Vince McMahon Jr. in charge.

Now, some might argue that Bob Backlund’s fate was sealed much earlier. They’ll show you the first edition of All-American Wrestling from September 1983 where the younger McMahon minimizes Backlund’s achievements and abilities for the entire hour…

…which Vince Jr. was able to get away with because he, you know, owned the company ever since buying it from his dad in 1982. But if that were true, why would Hogan tell this same anecdote in both his books?

Steriods [sic]

It was under the younger McMahon’s leadership that the WWF would grow popular beyond imagination, with Hogan as the main star. The good times would last until the early 90s, as scandal erupted around the use of steroids in pro wrestling. Hulk Hogan now freely admits to taking steroids (or steriods, as it’s occasionally spelled in his first book), and in his second book he says he continued to use them even after the birth of his son and his Arsenio Hall fiasco, before he “quit steroids entirely in 1992”. 

Yep, that checks out.

I hope Hogan is just being humble about his natural physique, because in sworn court testimony he claimed to have last taken steroids all the way back in 1990. Whoops!

Andre

But back in the 1980s, the sky was the limit for Hulk Hogan and the WWF, culminating in the massive Wrestlemania 3 event, headlined by Hogan vs. Andre the Giant. “We drew almost 94,000 people,” says Hogan, before putting His Holiness John Paul II in his place:

“The Pope, God bless him, only filled 80,000 seats. But it was okay. I was preaching the gospel in the ring that day anyway, so whoever came got their dose.”

According to Hogan’s first book, Vince didn’t decide the outcome of Hogan vs. Andre until the night before. According to his second book, Andre weighed nearly 700 pounds at the time, so when the Hulkster picked him up and slammed him, he tore all the muscles in his back. But for Hogan, there was no time to recuperate; he had to go right to Japan, where he wrestled for 29 straight nights (although there is no record of Hulk Hogan wrestling in Japan from 1986-1992)

He must have wrestled incognito.

Japan

It’s on the subject of Japan that Hogan makes one of the most outlandish claims ever committed to print. It’s bad enough that Hogan claimed in his first book that he used to wrestle 400 matches in a year (he never passed the 200-mark)…

…but in his second book he claimed that he used to wrestle 400 days a year. In case you haven’t been keeping count, there are only 365 days in a year. As Hogan writes:

“To really blow your mind, think about this: If I say I wrestled four hundred days a year, it’s no exaggeration. My years were actually longer than 365 days. 

“The American audience had no idea that I was wrestling in Japan during the whole Hulkamania thing. There were times when I’d fly back and forth to Japan twice a week just to wrestle. [Editor’s note: There were never any such times, because that would be stupid]…. Now it was nothing to wrestle in Madison Square Garden one day, then fly all the way to the Egg Dome in Tokyo the same day [which, strictly speaking, he never did], ‘cause you’d gain fourteen hours [In fact, you’d skip fourteen hours], and then fly back to the West Coast [and so on]…

“So I could wrestle in Japan today and then fly back across the international date line and land in another town yesterday. I was constantly adding days to my years!”

At this point, it is reasonable to assume the Hulkster thinks the Japanese planes literally went back in time 24 hours to attack Pearl Harbor.

Kayfabe

While the rest of My Life Outside the Ring reads more like an autobiography and less like an absurdist Kurt Vonnegut novel, that doesn’t mean you should take it at face value, especially when it contradicts his previous book. For example, in Hollywood Hulk Hogan, Hogan says he trained as a wrestler for over a year before learning that the wrestlers cooperated in the ring and weren’t really trying to hurt each other.

According to My Life Outside the Ring, though, he discovered this industry secret before he ever started training, catching Bob Orton calling spots to his opponent at a show. This was the moment that made Terry Bollea want to become a wrestler because, he writes, he hated violence and never would have become a wrestler if the fighting were for real. 

This epiphany wouldn’t have been possible had Orton been speaking carny; in a short chapter of his first book, Hogan explains that wrestlers speak in secret carny language to communicate industry secrets and other sensitive information. 

As you can see, it’s quite indecipherable. It’s fortunate, then, that Orton wasn’t been speaking carny that one night in Tampa as Hogan watched from ringside…

…just as it’s unfortunate that Hogan wasn’t speaking carny that one night in Tampa as Bubba the Love Sponge recorded on a hidden camera. 

The Undertaker

The contradictions continue when Hogan recounts his match with the Undertaker at Survivor Series 1991. According to Taker, Hogan kept complaining to him that his neck hurt and that Undertaker needed to be extra-careful with his Tombstone piledriver.

Still, after Hogan took the move on a steel chair as planned, he lay in the ring for minutes and had to be escorted by officials backstage…

…where he lay down on the floor of Vince McMahon’s office and complained very loudly about the new champion. It wasn’t until the following Tuesday, the day of their rematch, that Taker saw the footage showing Hogan’s head barely coming within a foot of the steel chair.

Hogan immediately changed his story to say that his neck injury came from The Undertaker holding him too tight. Regardless, he won the title back from Taker, whom he had just coincidentally been bad-mouthing all week as unsafe.

That’s the story Hogan rolled with in his 2002 book. Despite, he admitted, never actually hitting the steel chair, he still had to be hospitalized for days, with specialists from the Mayo Clinic flying in. They warned Hogan of the risk of paralysis and urged him to have emergency neck surgery, which Hulk of course refused. 

By the time he released his second book, Hogan had changed his story back. Maybe readers had a hard time believing Hulk’s severe case of not-hitting-his-head…

…especially after seeing Linda McMahon take (or rather, not take) the exact same move with no ill effects. In any case, despite all video evidence to the contrary, Hulk had now hit his head on that steel chair back in 1991, dammit, and boy did he love to remind you of it! Throughout the book, Hogan references this phantom Tombstone as the source of ongoing numbness in his fingers. 

Neither of Hogan’s accounts mention him missing Thanksgiving with his family due to his alleged hospitalization. 

Linda

Incidentally, Undertaker played a villain in Hogan’s movie, Suburban Commando, one of the few films Hulk’s wife Linda let him make. See, Linda was extremely jealous and paranoid about Hulk being away in Hollywood. Because of her, Hogan had to pass up a film role opposite Pamela Anderson at the height of Pam-amania, and before that, the lead role in Highlander.

See, as divorced from reality as Hulk was in 2009, he was even more divorced from Linda. Unlike his first (pre-divorce) book, My Life Outside the Ring is chock-full of anecdotes and remarks about Linda’s drinking, manipulation, and emotional abuse.

His wife’s primary talent was finding ways to make the rest of her family rich with Hulk’s money, such as by insisting on an impractically large and expensive mansion, which her brother’s construction company would build. In fact, says Hulk, Linda had cost him so much money that he had to return to wrestling in 1994 just to stay afloat financially.

The WCW years

This implies that the nWo came about, ultimately, because Hogan married a gold digger. But Hulk himself deserves a lot of credit for the nWo as well. After all, contrary to what you’ve heard from literally every other key figure in WCW at the time, who will tell you that the heel turn was Eric Bischoff’s idea…

…and that Hogan was so hesitant about the storyline that Bischoff had to prepare Sting as a back-up plan in case Hogan got cold feet that night…

…it was actually Hogan’s idea to turn heel. The Hulkster even had to personally convince Ted Turner that it was the right thing to do.

This kind of bold thinking of Hogan’s would come in handy in 2001 when, sick of seeing The Rock vs. The Undertaker every week on TV, Hulk convinced a skeptical Vince McMahon to buy WCW.

That’s not to say that Bischoff never had ideas for Hogan. In fact, when he was still selling frozen meat door to door in Minnesota, Bischoff had wanted to make millions selling an official Hogan sandwich to be called the Hulk Hoagie. This, Hogan claims, is a story Eric Bischoff voluntarily told him years later.

That’s also not to say that Hogan’s time in WCW was smooth sailing. For one thing, he was sued on Christmas 1994 by an employee of his Pastamania restaurant. She alleged that on the night of the grand opening, Hulk Hogan sexually assaulted her in a hotel room. The fact that Pastamania wouldn’t even open until the next summer should have made this case a slam dunk for the defense, but I guess they couldn’t prove she hadn’t simply crossed the International Date Line over and over again. Hogan eventually settled for an undisclosed sum.

The Giant

One of Hulk Hogan’s favorite opponents in WCW was The Giant (aka The Big Show). Hogan recalls their match at Road Wild 1996, where Giant “looked even better after [Hogan] was done beating him.” Modest as he is, Hulk doesn’t even mention letting The Giant bask spread-eagle in the limelight for an unprecedented seven minutes as Hogan and the nWo celebrated.

“I make my opponents look good,” Hulk Hogan explains. “After you’ve wrestled me, people are going to think you’re a god.”

Bret Hart

After Bret Hart suffered a head injury against Goldberg that ultimately cost the Hitman his career, Hulk Hogan was the only one whom he trusted to wrestle.

Did Hart continue wrestling in WCW for weeks after his concussion? Absolutely!

And were any of those matches against Hulk Hogan? Hahahahahaha.

Hart’s respect for Hogan’s safeness as a worker was a big deal because he and Hulk had often clashed backstage. For instance, back in 1993 when Hulk Hogan proposed that he “pass the torch” to the near 700-pound heel Yokozuna (first by randomly beating him in under a minute at Wrestlemania, then losing to him via blatant cheating at King of the Ring), Bret Hart somehow got the impression that Hogan was scheduled to pass the torch to him, the company’s number-two babyface. Fortunately, whenever Bret was being unreasonable, Owen Hart was the voice of reason, telling the Hulkster in secret that Hogan was right.

The 2000s

Hogan’s days in WCW came to an end when Vince Russo took over and, at Bash at the Beach, went on a rant against Hogan and nullified his title victory that night. Hulk went on to sue WCW not just for breach of contract, but for defamation. Why? Because when Vince Russo said that Hogan had been holding back people like Booker T, it implied that Hulk was racist against Black men. Imagine that!

Eventually, Vince McMahon brought Hulk Hogan back to WWE.

Hogan’s first book begins and ends with his famous match against The Rock in 2002. But Hogan almost didn’t make it to the match in the first place, having nearly died of a fever the week prior. Hulk puts the fever at 103 degrees (at the beginning of the book) or 104 degrees (at the end). That’s degrees Fahrenheit, although I wouldn’t put it past the Hulkster to claim a fever of 104 degrees Celsius where his blood literally boiled.

Obviously, a lot happened to Hogan after 2002, which he covers in My Life Outside the Ring. Besides his divorce from that awful Linda (about whom he peppers his second book with jabs, like he peppered his first book with the word, “brother”)…

…there was his family’s reality show Hogan Knows Best, and before that, the launch of his daughter Brooke’s singing career. According to Hulk, Brooke’s very first single “went straight to number one on the Billboard Singles chart. It stayed there for eight weeks!” That’s one of the most impressive feats in music industry history. “It even”, Hogan explains, “broke into the Billboard Hot 100”.

The Hot 100 is the Billboard Singles chart.

The Secret

Another major issue facing the Bollea family was son Nick’s car crash, which left his friend and passenger comatose and severely brain-damaged. It was in the aftermath of this tragedy that Hulk Hogan was introduced to The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, the spiritual self-help book that would famously propel Ryback to the top of the wrestling world.

The Secret and the law of attraction, Hogan explains, basically mean that by thinking only positive thoughts about your goals, you will not only achieve those goals but also never shut up about The Secret and the law of attraction.

Seriously, Hogan spends the last fifty pages of the book plugging The Secret at every opportunity. Now, Hulk expects the reader to be skeptical at first, so he illustrates the law of attraction with just the worst example possible:

“Have you ever known a couple who were frustrated and angry and devastated that they couldn’t get pregnant? …Wishing and hoping and praying is not the same as actually thinking about and feeling what it is you want to achieve, and if all that hoping and praying is coupled with endless negative thoughts of Why can’t I get pregnant?… then it just won’t cut it.”

Childless couples rejoice: your fertility issues are actually the universe itself punishing you for your “endless negative thoughts”. 

Linda Bollea conceived Nick via The Secret: she stopped taking her birth control but kept it a secret from Hulk.

It was through The Secret that Hogan finally came to make sense of his son’s car accident. Nick and his friend, he learned, had been watching videos of car crashes on Youtube, attracting a negative outcome.

In his later conversations with Nick in prison, Hogan explained to his son that his friend’s negative attitude since returning from Iraq may have caused the injuries he suffered when Nick crashed their car into a tree.

It’s through the law of attraction that today that Hogan is now happily married to his second wife Jennifer.

(pictured here with Hogan’s daughter Brooke on… either the right or the left)

The law of attraction may work for getting blessings from the universe, but the WWE Universe is not so easily swayed, having booed the Hulkster at Wrestlemania 37.

——

It’s been twelve years since Hogan’s last book – and we can only hope it isn’t the last book for him. Between his time in TNA, his sex tape leaks, and his Gawker lawsuit, there’s a whole slew of material for the Hulkster to make sh*t up about!

Written by

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He also runs the "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws. Follow him on Twitter @Art0Donnell. Email at: art@wrestlecrap.com
29 Responses to "Induction: Hulk Hogan’s autobiographies – Have pythons, will (time) travel"
  1. James M Fabiano says:

    I understand Meltzer made a list of all the inaccuracies of Hogan’s books. Which issue?

  2. mfm420 says:

    funny enough hogan isn’t exactly lying about brooke’s single hitting number 1 (but he’s taking a ton of liberties).

    so, there’s a regional billboard chart, and i remember back when that came out, it was number 1 for several weeks (because i happen to live in central florida and they printed the chart every friday in the paper).

    of course, i think it’s in hulk’s second book he claims to have bought a ton of them (which likely is legit) and in that case, it’d be pretty easy to hit number 1.

    that’s probably why he mentioned it hitting the top 100 chart (while either not realizing or caring he omitted the fact it only hit number 1 in a roughly 250 mile section of america).

  3. Chris says:

    Holy…that Ryback is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.
    I couldn’t stop laughing.
    It’s like a classic Simpsons skit come to life.
    For some reason, I kept thinking about Bart getting that golf video game for Christmas instead of the popular one.
    “If you’d like to play again select: yes. You selected: no.”
    I don’t even know why…

    This was a hilarious induction.
    Hulk Hogan travelling through time…The Secret…
    Too much!

    I read Mick Foley’s first book, Ric Flair’s, Steven Regal’s, and Edge’s as far as wrestling autobiographies.
    It sounds like I missed…something…by not reading the Hogan ones.

    • Doc 902714 says:

      Lee Carvello’s PUTTING CHALLENGE. And it was probably about as useful as any WWE 2K game from the last three or four years.

  4. Premier Blah says:

    I’m more interested in the Collected Fictions of Borges than anything in this induction. I look forward to seeing you compare The Aleph with WWE’s current mediocrity Art.

    • Chris says:

      I would hope you more interested in Jorge Luis Borges’ fiction than any wrestling books.
      There are few writers more interesting than Borges.
      Borges’ oeuvre is also far more realistic than Hogan’s far-out world.
      Borges had a lot of importance to say about our so-called reality, so that’s hardly surprising. It’s still just a bit slightly sad because Hogan’s books are supposedly non-fiction.

      As far as “The Aleph”, all I can say is that Hogan probably saw an Aleph somewhere in that timeless liminal space between the past and future he experienced during his quantum leaps to and from Japan.
      “I saw it all at once, brother! I looked in to the Aleph, brother! I witnessed all my Hulkamaniacs praying and taking their vitamins all over the universe all at once, brother!”

      • Premier Blah says:

        The Madison Square Garden of Forking Paths.
        “We do not exist in the majority of these times brother; in some I pin Andre; in others he pins me; in others, a double count-out. In the present one, which a favorable fate has granted me, he died three days after; in another, I died three days after; in still another, I utter these same words, but I am not WWF world champion Jack.”

        Also The Book of Sand is highly prophetic to anyone who has spent most of their day in a Wikipedia wormhole.

  5. Matt says:

    This is too funny. Hulk’s ego never puts anything over. Hulk must be very cold in the winter because he won’t even put a blanket over him.

    I just can’t stop laughing. Great introduction Art!

  6. Larry says:

    “While the rest of My Life Outside the Ring reads more like an autobiography and less like an absurdist Kurt Vonnegut novel”

    And whoever wrote this doesn’t know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut.

    • Art0Donnell says:

      I was about to angrily reply that I have read every Kurt Vonnegut novel and short story before I picked up on the Back to School reference.

  7. Blake says:

    My favorite part of the Vince Sr. story is that Hogan says that not only did he learn Sr was dying in the bathroom encounter but he then told Vince Jr who had no idea(and I’m sure he delivered the info as gently as possible brother)

  8. GeneMean says:

    I’m starting to think that maybe Hulk wasn’t really offered the Metallica gig after all.

  9. Adam Joyce says:

    I’m sure there was a lot of crap to cover between the two books but did you skip over his audition to play bass for Metallica? I would love to see how he spun it back then considering he has since walked to back to maybe sending them in a demo tape of him playing some bass licks.

  10. Mav says:

    The time travel part is amazing. For all of Terry’s tall tales, that may take the cake.

  11. Don R Townsend says:

    yeah he’s full of BS but I cant tell if he’s just blowing smoke to enhance the legend of Hulk Hogan like he’s Paul Bunyan or if he’s just a compulsive liar that wants 110% of the credit.

    I have a cousin who’s a compulsive liar. He was always trying to impress people so he’d make up some obviously false statements that were easily disproven then get mad because you didnt believe him.

    He played sports so a lot of them were athletically oriented. For instance, he told people he could run 60 miles per hour. He also supposedly hit two, not one but TWO grand slams in one baseball game…..a game his mother just so happened to “record” but they were so proud of this accomplishment they lost the tape.

    He supposedly ran end zone to end zone BACK to end zone during a football game where he was about to score but had to run aaallllll the way back to the opposite side to avoid getting tackled before running aaaalllll the way back to the other end to score a touchdown. Another one was Deion Sanders giving him a Florida State jacket OFF HIS BACK. This was especially surprising since he’d never been in the same state with Deion Sanders much less the same room.

    But my all time favorite might just be when he went around telling everyone he was drafted by the St Louis Cardinals while he was in little league. Now…….you might normally be able to let that go because he was a kid except he’s still sticking with that story. I never heard why he didnt play for them….maybe they didnt want that young of a kid to come in and embarrass the pros like that.

    He did go into the army for a hot minute despite many warnings. He didnt make it through boot camp. He said the obstacle course wall fell over on top of him hurting his back then the story changed to he was pushed out of a helicopter (!?) with no parachute and landed on his feet hurting his back.

    So yeah Hogan’s book sounds a lot like that just based somewhat more in reality.

    • 80s Guy says:

      Woooooooooow. Dude is crazy. I couldn’t deal.

      • Don R Townsend says:

        yeah man he’s family though. I mean we went through a phase where we pushed back but realized he was just going to double and triple down plus his mom backed him up on his BS bc he was her kid.
        We finally just went with it and got a bunch of laughs out of it….we just let him keep going to see how far out there he could get.

        Eventually I started carrying a notebook around and writing them down. It ended up being a ridiculous amount. Dude was never quite right from the beginning as a kid. He cooked a plastic fireman helmet in the oven one time because he got hungry. He was always getting things stuck up his nose like crayons and Legos.

        One time he set his bed on fire. He stole his mom’s lighter and lit a washrag on fire and then dropped it on his bed when the flames got near his fingers. Instead of waking his parents up he just got his sister and left. He walked to my mom’s apartment ( we lived in the same complex) She thought it was odd but didnt think too much about it until their mom called to see if they were there

        I guess the smoke alarm finally went off and woke them up. Maybe the funniest and saddest thing he lied about was when one of my uncles died. We had a sort of wake after the funeral and there were a bunch of people there…friends, family……some song was playing on the radio and my dude said “Oh they played that sing at the funeral!”

        His girlfriend, in front of everybody, said “You told me YOU sang that song at the funeral” Bro……I’ve never seen anybody’s face get so red before bc he knew, we all knew……..we all just looked around at each other in amazement and spontaneously busted out into laughter. It was bizarre. My other cousin who had just buried his dad was holding his sides laughing for the same reason we were all laughing…..he snitched himself out.

        He grabbed her hand real quick and said “I gotta talk to you outside!” I dont know what line of bullcrap he hurled at her but she bought it I guess. The only difference between him and a guy like Hogan is Hogan is rich and famous and in a business where he’s expected to exaggerate stuff to become more rich and more famous. Therefore Hogan can get away with it even if people dont believe him they just know it comes with the territory. Someone like my cuz just comes across nuttier than squirrel turds.

    • Justin Ballard says:

      Yup, I had a friend like that too. Made up absolute nonsense stories, then got pissed when you called him out on it. It’s a really bizarre sociopathic phenomenon.

  12. Justin Ballard says:

    Imagine being that divorced from reality. Why is there so much of that nowadays? People continue to make public statements that are easily verifiable as bullshit. When did humans become a race of pathological liars?

    • Thun Fish says:

      Eh, I feel like humanity was like that before our current technologies. It’s just the Internet helped more to not, eventually, grow up.

  13. Guest says:

    Whenever I here people talk about how great Hogan was and how the business would never have achieve the highs it did in the 1980’s and later the 1990’s without him.

    These people love to ignore the fact that guys like Flair were still more popular than Hogan was especially by 1986 and ignore the fact that by 1996 Hogan was in his forties and still had the the problem of refusing to let the younger guys get over as evidenced by his feud with the Giant

    • Don R Townsend says:

      well to be fair Hogan was living up to the hype. He WAS wrestling back in the 80s. Hogan was kind of carrying the WWF on his back and doing so while Vince was taking the gamble on national expansion, WrestleMania, raiding territories, etc

      They had good talent underneath but not the depth the NWA had. Saying Flair was more popular…thats true if you’re talking about in your hardcore NWA territories like Georgia, the Carolinas……down south basically. Hogan was bigger worldwide.

      Case in point when the NWA tried to go outside their comfort zone like to Chicago it was considered a failure and it irked the hardcore southern fan base. Flair was the better wrestler and was more influential for guys coming along later.

      And its hard to argue that Hogan wasnt responsible for the late 90s boom with the NWO. One of the reasons (maybe the main reason) the NWO worked so well was because the 3rd man WAS Hogan. The guy who had been telling everyone to say their prayers and eat their vitamins and was viewed as a real life superhero telling the fans to stick it and turning to the dark side was too intriguing not to watch.

      Sting was floated as a backup in case Hogan got cold feet. I just dont see Sting being the 3rd guy having the same impact. For starters, Sting wasnt on Hogan’s level in terms of selling it and the NWO was being pushed as WWF guys invading. Sting was never a WWF guy. It also would have meant Hogan would have been the one fighting the NWO and Hulkamania was stale at that point. It would have been a disaster.

      It gave Hogan and Sting new life. It wouldnt have worked the other way around. By the time the NWO thing had been overdone, the tide had already shifted. New guys were emerging like Goldberg, The Rock, Stone Cold, DX. etc. I get that a lot of people like Flair but he was always kind of a one trick pony IMO. He did his main job well which was to get the babyface over with the crowd no matter who it was.

  14. Jeremy Hegg says:

    I’m still disappointed they had Hogan dress up as a pirate at WrestleMania, but didn’t keep his nWo era black beard. Missed opportunity.

  15. Morgan Wick says:

    Ah, so that’s where Kizarny’s mode of speaking came from! (Anyone remember him?)

    • Don R Townsend says:

      yeah…..what a disappointing short run in WWE. Dude had an incredible personality and in ring persona. He could have been the wrestling version of Rob Zombie/Criss Angel but they kept watering him down even while he was in FCW.

      One example was he had an idea to come to the ring with a blood splattered butcher’s apron but Dusty Rhodes couldnt let him do it bc WWE was toning things waaaaay down. By the time he was called up they changed his name from Sinn Bodhi to Kizarny.

      All of his freaky carnival gimmick things he would do were discarded. The only thing he as allowed to do was speak carny which is where the Kizarny name came from. Just put an -iz in the middle of every word. Of course this went over like a wet fart and it didnt help that he wasnt all that motivated after having 99% of his gimmick neutered. He kind of let his conditioning go a little bit and was stuck in a pointless feud with MVP for no good reason.

      Another fumble by WWE.

  16. The Scanian Maniac says:

    Some years ago I downloaded some podcasts where Hogan appeared hoping for some nostalgia and hearing what the Hulkster was up to, and found out every question and every answer on the different podcasts were the same. It was all scripted! That really made Hogan look like a phony.

  17. Paolo says:

    I still have the first book with me. I got it from a dollar store many years back.

    The story of the trainer Hiro Matsuda injuring Hogan’s foot in training was confirmed to be true, at the very least.

  18. Paolo says:

    More supplementary reading for the Hulkster’s tall tales here:

    https://twitter.com/allan_cheapshot/status/1437040427568410628?s=20

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