For years, me and RD have kicked around the idea of me loading my wrestling ring up and heading up northeast to put on the long-rumored WrestleCrap indy show/convention. If it ever happens, I’m convinced we will need to book some celebs to really make the evening special. In my opinion, my money should be dropped out on a Fabulous Ones reunion.
However, I don’t want to see Stan Lane and Steve Keirn wrestle. I just want them to stand next to a boom box tuned into an oldies station and point at themselves and random people in the audience for three hours…all while smiling with the happiest of happy smiles.
With Hollywood taking the time to stop by our big 2nd anniversary WrestleCrap Radio show this week, what a more perfect time to look back to when she led her GLOW girls into an interpromotional war against the mighty force that was WCW. The battle field, so to speak? The set of Family Feud. Yes, in 1990, it was big male mullets vs. big female breas…uh, brain cells, on this classic game show. Wackiness ensues when the innocent first question causes some contestants to start name dropping smut magazines.
Bonus points go to Jim Ross, who bit his tongue and didn’t mention Plumpers Magazine.
Submitted by Fellow Crapper PM News
It seems Roddy Piper isn’t the only one who can dole out sage advice for Halloween (and you can listen to this week’s WCR for more on that). To wit: don’t eat all that trick or treat candy at once, or you could wind up like the fat little Hulkster.
Remember, little Crappers, listen to what Mr. Rose said (he is a “cool guy” after all) – “What you eat today, you wear tomorrow!”
This could be the greatest video I’ve ever seen. Mickie James and CM Punk (with a cameo by Chris Jericho) belting out “Summer Nights” from the Grease soundtrack. One thing makes this video an all-time classic. Now, it’s not the greatest video ever because it features three minutes of my beloved Mickie, looking like she’s smuggling a pair of nuclear warheads underneath her pink shirt, doing her best Olivia Newton-John impression. Nor is it because I have an R.O.Hard-on for everything CM Punk does. And it’s not the fact that the bizarre lighting makes it look like the two were chasing their drinks that night with Gamma Rays, turning them as green as the Incredible Hulk and She-Hulk.
No, the one thing that makes this video awesome is the random drunk guy who tries to help them sing. That unknown, obnoxious neanderthal who appeared to be challenging for the Undisputed Third Wheel Championship of the World that evening. Not only is he weird, but with that creepy face and shaggy hair he reminds me of somebody – Rocky Dennis from the movie, Mask. After seeing this video, I can now mark “seeing Mickie James karaoking Grease music with Rocky Dennis” off of my list of things to do before I die.
Mask is the word
Mask is the word, is the word that you heard!!
Blade Braxton: “We had so much fun last week looking at Paul Christy’s meltdown on the TNT show (LINK) , I figured let’s go back to the well again. No Mean Gene to hassle Paul this time. In his place we get the three-time NWA world heavyweight champion, Lou Thesz, conducting the interview. And what a fine interview it is, complete with Paul losing it mentally, abusing his female manager, Bunny Love, and even giving tips on how to properly physically assault a woman. Last week, Paul asked the timeless question, “How many apartment buildings can you own?” This week, Paul tries to answer another question that really wasn’t necessary…
How many inches of Lou Thesz’s rod can you deep throat?
Paul Christy: Wrestler. Magician. Hypnotist. Linda Lovelace impersonator.
You remember 70’s porn star Linda Lovelace don’t you? Pretty blue eyes, physical appearance, charming personality. Right? You got it? Woman. Sexual. Alright?
Blade: Say what you will about former ECW hostess (and Dave Batista bed notch) Rebecca DiPietro, but this chick just keeps tryng to make commercials.
Best part of this, by far, is lightning bolts going right into her cooch. And while I’m not quite sure what youraface.com is, all I can think is that she may have been better served working for someplace named yourOface.com.
Blade Braxton: “For years RD and I have thought about inducting those old Playstation and PC WCW games where guys would rant about why you should pick them – or why you shouldn’t!
Gotta love Kevin Nash being so lazy that he doesn’t want to work – even in virtual form!”
Submitted by Fellow Crapper Paul KFT
“Oh come on…this has to be a contender!” wrote Paul KFT. And he’s right – any type you get Andre the Giant in a cereal commerical, life is good. And when we can use it as an excuse to shill the new book, it’s even better!
From the Top Ten Commercials Starring Pro Wrestlers, this week’s It Came From Tube hits at number 2:
2. Andre The Giant for Honeycomb: When you think of all the villainous acts Andre The Giant committed in the late 80’s, you’re bound to think of his heel turn against Hulk Hogan, which led to him screwing Hogan out of his WWF title with the help of Ted DiBiase. However, these actions pale in comparison to the behavior of a savage man known only as “Andre The Honeycomb Junkie”. In a commercial for everyone’s favorite breakfast cereal shaped like a beehive, a group of kids, along with their robot sidekick (it was the 80’s, Star Wars was still hot, so robots were in), were shown enjoying their bowls of Honeycomb from the safety and peacefulness of an innocent tree house.
Little did the sugar-addled kids know that tree house that would soon be under the attack from a sugar-jonesing giant. The look of horror on the faces of the little brats was priceless as Andre, with a growling voice that sounded like it was dubbed over by Frankenstein, reached in through the treehouse window, and with the mindset of every rapist that ever walked the Earth, took what the cereal he wanted without one iota of care or permission from the kids. Despite having their Honeycomb stolen, the kids laughed and frolicked with the thieving Giant, who proceeded to teeter totter their robot to the moon. How this made parents want to buy cereal is beyond us. We watched it and immediately went out and purchased handguns in the likely event we ever encountered any cereal-stealing, child-bullying, robot-abusing giants.
Just when you think you’ve seen it all, here’s Jim Hellwig in the late-80’s, shilling for Westway Ford in Texas. But he’s not alone in his wackiness. His boss in these commercials is a man who is a cross between the Grand Wizard and Ted DiBiase – the aptly-named Joe Greed. Would you buy a car from these guys?
That Festiva does seem like a pretty good deal…
In some rare Mid-South outtakes from the mid-80’s, here’s good ol’ JR talking about engaging in some hanky panky with his former UWF co-worker, Dark Journey.
Back then, it seems Jim wasn’t only interested in knocking slobber. He wanted to knock the boots as well.