Headlies: WWE Now Using “Spin The Wheel, Make The Deal” For All Decisions

5 Submitted by on Mon, 19 October 2020, 08:00

Stamford, CT – After the positive feedback from reintroducing WCW’s iconic “Spin The Wheel, Make The Deal” on NXT, WWE officials have agreed to start using the wheel to make all of their decisions. WWE CEO Vince McMahon revealed the new contraption at a meeting this morning.

“The truth of the matter is, no matter what we do, we’ll always have one to two million viewers,” said McMahon. “It doesn’t matter what we put on. We could have Braun Stroman singing the entire score to the ‘H.M.S. Pinafore’ and we’d still get viewers. Why bother having these long creative meetings and countless rewrites? It’s so much easier to let the wheel decide for us.”

“Spin the wheel, make the deal! Spin the wheel, make the deal!” shouted all the writers and staff in unison.

“Spin the wheel! Spin the wheel!” implored WWE Executive Producer Kevin Dunn, sporting an eye patch for some reason.

Chief Branding Officer Stephanie McMahon grabbed wheel and spun it.

The writers pounding on the large oak conference table, chanting in excitement.

Tension grew as the jagged edges of the wheel clacked and clanged.

“The name of the next event will be… “Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200!” shouted McMahon.

The group roared with approval.

“Do you want another?” asked McMahon.

“Spin the wheel, make the deal! Spin the wheel, make the deal!” everyone chanted.

McMahon’s eyes gleamed with a hint of mad power as he gave the wheel a mighty spin. The room erupted in laughter when it finally stopped.

“For lunch, Kevin Dunn will eat…a coal miners glove!” laughed McMahon.

“Aw, no. Not again,” whined Dunn.

“Hope you brought you appetite!” said McMahon, placing an extra-large glove on a plate and serving it to Dunn.

Following the meeting, McMahon promoted the wheel to Executive Vice President.

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown. If you like horror movies, check out www.365daysofhorrormovies.blogspot.com
5 Responses to "Headlies: WWE Now Using “Spin The Wheel, Make The Deal” For All Decisions"
  1. Jerry says:

    “We could have Braun Stroman singing the entire score to the ‘H.M.S. Pinafore’ and we’d still get viewers.”

    To be fair, from what I remember from his short feud with Elias, Braun has actually a very pretty singing voice. Second best use of him, right after breaking things apart and ahead of wrestling.

  2. Acolyte Of Glorious La Parka~ says:

    “..We could have Braun Stroman singing the entire score to the ‘H.M.S. Pinafore’ and we’d still get viewers.”

    As long as he sings “A British Tar”, they’ve got ME.

  3. Preparation Triple H says:

    “The truth of the matter is, no matter what we do, we’ll always have one to two million viewers,” said McMahon.

    Yep.

  4. Injured Machine says:

    If Stroman’s next character is a Sideshow Bob ripoff, I’m watching every episode.

  5. Thomas Moffatt says:

    So far the ‘wheel’ has decided that:

    Going into the Hall of Fame is – Stephanie McMahon (accompanied by Michael Cole, Hornswoggle. the Godwinns, Kelly Kelly and Snooki. Vince will personally see to making sure how we will all be told how much Nips deserves it…

    Being replaced on commentary is – Tom Philips. Byron Saxton will take over play-by-play with Sam Roberts taking the position of the whiny/dorky member of the announce team…

    The star who will be is repackaged is – AJ Styles. After seeing a clip of a tired comedy act, Vince announces AJ will become Raymond J Styles – you can call him Ray, you can call him Jay..

    Called up from NXT (singles) is – Walter. However, he will be portraying a combination of Steve Irwin, Crocodile Dundee and Outback Jack as Vince McMahon is incapable of believing Austria and Australia are two different countries. Walter the Crocodile Wrestler will also, at times, make his way to the ring with an oversized boot which use to kick the rears of his opponents with…

    Called up from NXT (tag team) is – the Grizzled Young Veterans. Zac Gibson and James Drake get their chance not as the GYV but as the shelved British Skinheads gimmick. Adrian Street once again turns down the opportunity to manage so Robbie Brookside pulls the shortstraw…

    Called up from NXT (womens) is – Jake Atlas portraying a man who identifies as a woman and wishes to challenge for the women’s titles…

    The tag team/faction to be split up is – Natalya’s cleavage. Vince believes the most attractive part of a lady is the boobies but he also believes Natalya does not deserve a decent push, angle or run. Left breast to Smackdown, right to RAW…

    Making a face turn is – KIng Corbin. After taking exception to Roman Reigns referring to himself as a leader and chief, Boring Baron will challenge Reigns for the title. The feud will founder quickly and limp on to Wrestlemania where WWE’s resident charisma vacuum will become a heel again…

    Making a heel turn is – Sasha Banks. Following the slow burning face turn and feud with Bayley, Vince will decide that creative can’t be bothered and will have Sasha turn heel by the Royal Rumble. Incidentally…

    Winning the men’s Royal Rumble is – Goldberg. Keen to give the viewers what they want, Bill Goldberg will enter #29 and go on to face Roman Reigns at 37 as the rematch of the match that never happened…

    Winning the women’s Royal Rumble is – Stephanie McMahon. Vince can’t believe Daddy’s Little Girl has already won it…

    The face scheduled to be booked as a dick is – Dominik Mysterio. After Seth Rollins raises the issue of Dominik’s parentage once more, Dominik fires back questioning who is the father of Becky Lynch’s child before claiming it is his and he and Becky did do the nasty in the pasty and repeats the claim at every opportunity until a DNA test is conducted…

    Being rehired in 2021 is – Hornswoggle. Desperate to make a crappy sequel to Leprechaun: Origins, Vince rehires everybodies least favourite little turd who promptly ruins anything he comes in contact with…

    A really bad gimmick is – Aleister Black. After being knocked out, Aleister comes around with amnesia. Noticing his eye covering he becomes a pirate. When he portrays the wrong type of pirate, Vince gets narky and takes him off TV for months on end…

    The terrible feud/angle rehashed is – the Usos. Jimmy and Jey begin to feud. Like the Bellas but with men though just as terrible.

    Also being called up is – Pete Dunne. The brusierweight gets his chance on the main roster but as The Bobby, a corrupt British policeman with catchphrases “Evenin’ All” and ‘Ello, ‘Ello, ‘Ello” and a truncheon he hits his opponents over the head with. Michael Cole repeatedly tells us this man is not a member of the Metropolitan Police even though he has no idea who they are…

    Being constantly overlooked and buried in the midcard is – Cesaro. No change for the unfortunate Swiss wrestler then…

    The duty of keeping the Miz relevant is – Ricochet. Every year a member of the WWE roster is given the duty of trying to ensure the Miz is kept relevant. Next year it will be Trevor Mann who will be buried in a series of matches against and later with the Miz…

    And finally, the stupidest gimmick is – R-Truth. Still plodding on with his tired routine, Truth goes even more insane and develops and alter ego – K-Kwik. He also miraculously survives the post Wrestlemania cut unlike Shinsuke Nakamura, Nikki Cross and the Viking Raiders…

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