Death Valley, CA – WWE legend The Undertaker finally listened to the song “Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle)” by Limp Bizkit and did not like what he heard.
Following the his return on the 900th episode of Smackdown, The Undertaker was riding a wave of nostalgia. After watching several of his Smackdown matches on the WWE Network, Undertaker came to the realization that he had never actually listened to the Limp Bizkit song that served as his entrance music during his “American Badass” phase.
“Between the pyro, the excited crowds, and my motorcycle, I never actually heard the song in it’s entirety,” said Undertaker to his wife Michelle McCool.
“That’s nice, dear,” said McCool as she roller-skated around their kitchen. “Make sure you take out the garbage when you’re done.”
The Dead Man purchased the song on iTunes using the the gift card he received as his Wrestlemania 32 bonus. After waiting several minutes for his iPod nano to sync, Undertaker put in his earbuds and walked out to his garage to throw out the trash.
Undertaker, who has faced countless foes in knock-down, drag-out, bloody fights stopped dead in his tracks. The rap-metal sounds filling his ears were too much for the Superstar to handle. His face contorted as if in complete and utter pain. His eyes twitched as if he was trying to break out of a trance. He tried to scream for help, but could only stutter a few simple syllables.
With lines like “Hot mamas, pimp daddies and the people rollin’ up in caddies. Hey rockers, hip hoppers and everybody all around the world” the Undertaker could take no more. He dropped the garbage, ran back into the house, jumped into bed, and pulled a blanket over his head.
After several hours of trying, McCool was able to coax the Undertaker out from under his blanket by playing the soothing tones of Bret Hart’s “Never Been A Right Time To Say Goodbye.”