Headlies: Ryback Takes Inspiration From Honey Boo Boo

7 Submitted by on Mon, 21 January 2013, 10:00
Ryback Headlie


Photoshoppery by The Hawaiian Hammer


Wearing a skin-tight onesie…er singlet…and screaming “FEED ME MORE” seems more akin to a two-year-old trapped in a playpen than a hulking behemoth trapped inside the squared circle.

There’s a reason for that – it was the inspiration for Ryback’s new attitude.

Many think that Ryback is an offshoot from Goldberg, but those in the know say nay nay.

In fact, Ryback takes all of his inspiration from child sensation Honey Boo Boo. All the way down to his trademark stomping of his feet around the ring, Ryback is a dead ringer for the young bombshell.

They both have terrific teeth (where’s the dental, Vince?) and a superb tan to accentuate those dingy yellows (Vince does offer spray tan).

Bookmakers are setting odds on whose career will end first and how it will be done. Take a gander at the odds as of 1/10/13:

Ryback by Wellness Violation: Even
Boo Boo by Gender Confusion: 2 to 1
Ryback by Botched Spot: 3 to 1
Boo Boo by Heart Attack: 10 to 1
Ryback by Future Endeavors: 15 to 1
Boo Boo by Terrorist Act: 30 to 1

You can see where the smart money lies. Drugs and trannies. Wonder if they’re offering any parlays on the strip?

Written by

I'm a Paul Heyman guy...I'm just glad he doesn't owe me any money. Skinner once shot a booger over my seat. I was also licked by a Bushwhacker. They reeked of Right Guard. I love me some NBA as well, I'm the founder and editor-in-chief of HoopsHabit.com. Check it out.
7 Responses to "Headlies: Ryback Takes Inspiration From Honey Boo Boo"
  1. Autrach Sejanoz says:

    That would explain my hatred for both.

    • Michael Dunlap says:

      Read a tweet the other day, said “Honey Boo Boo’s mom has a boyfriend, and you’re single. How does that make you feel”?

  2. Draga says:

    Jesus Christ, how horrifying.

  3. Earpaniac says:

    Don’t give them any ideas! I can see it now, “Goldberg clone? We’ll give them a Goldberg clone! Where’s Dustin and an extra wig?”.

  4. BANG!BANG! says:

    Wow. I really mean this, dont give those idiots at WWE character development any ideas… I am still haunted by farting Natalya!!!!!!

leave a comment