Headlies: Otis Gets Middle Management Job After Money In The Bank Match

2 Submitted by on Mon, 11 May 2020, 08:00

Stamford, CT – After obtaining the Money In The Bank Briefcase, WWE Superstar Otis Dozovic ended up gaining a new job in WWE’s corporate office.

The beloved Superstar raced through Titan Tower along with Rey Mysterio, Baron Corbin, Aleister Black, AJ Styles, and Daniel Bryan in order to win the Money In The Bank briefcase. The battle spilled throughout WWE’s corporate offices as bodies slammed into water coolers, across conference tables, and into cubicles. After catching the briefcase, Otis accidentally walked into a corner office while looking for the kitchen for a celebratory snack.

“Otis! Just the man I wanted to see!” said a gregarious Corporate Kane. “Don’t mind me, just finishing up some paperwork here. I’ve been going over your yearly review and I have to say, I really see potential in you. You’re a real go-getter. A spot just opened up as my Assistant Director and I’d like formally offer you the position. What do you say, big guy?”

“Oooooh, no,” protested Otis. “Got to get the briefcase. Become WWE Champion. Then fill the briefcase with Pepper Jack Cheez-Its. Snack on the go. Stick to the plan, just like Tucky said!”

“Sure, we all love snacks, Otis, but there’s no guarantee you’ll win a championship,” countered Kane. “You need to think about the Doritos in your future. One slip off a ladder or too big of a bite of ham sandwich and your career is over. How about instead of climbing the Money In The Bank ladder, you climb the corporate ladder?”

Otis stroked his beard in contemplation.

“It’s a really great opportunity, Otis,” stated Kane. “Benefits, a 401K, and a chance to really do something with your life.”

“Healthcare? Dental? Paid vacation? Executive bathroom privileges? Coconut drink with little umbrella? Ooooooh, yeah!” shouted Otis.

“That’s great, pal!” said Corporate Kane. “Head on over to HR in the morning to fill out your W-2. Once you’re squared away. I’m going to need these files in triplicate on my desk tomorrow afternoon. Welcome aboard, Otis!”

“Otis is a real shirt and tie kind of guy. Put my nose to the grindstone. In seven to ten years, maybe I’ll make Associate Director!” declared Otis. “Time to update the ol’ LinkedIn!”

Written by

From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown. If you like horror movies, check out www.365daysofhorrormovies.blogspot.com
2 Responses to "Headlies: Otis Gets Middle Management Job After Money In The Bank Match"
  1. Guy Incognito says:

    Dolph Ziggler wasn’t in the match, but Daniel Bryan was.

  2. Doc 902714 says:

    Not too early to declare this year’s MITB as the Gooker, is it?

leave a comment