Headlies: Nick Gage Defeats Chris Jericho In A Dance Competition

1 Submitted by on Mon, 26 July 2021, 08:00

Charlotte, NC – Deathmatch legends Nick Gage defeated Chris Jericho in a dazzling, if not unexpected, fashion this weekend.

Instead of pitting the two in combat, AEW star MJF harkened back to his infamous dance routine with Jericho to inflict maximum pain. What Jericho and the world did not know was that the GCW star is a world-class dancer.

Gage, known for using hardcore wrestling methods such as light tubes and barbed wire, shocked the world with his graceful dancing. Like a leaf caught in an updraft, the “King Of Ultraviolence” move fluidly, his body one with the music. His opponent Chris Jericho struggled mightily to stay on beat, stumbling several times trying to keep up.

The cavorting and boogying reached a dramatic crescendo when Jericho fell off the stage attempting to cha-cha and crunk at the same time. The former Dancing With The Stars competition luckily fell into crash pads. Unfortunately, he poked himself with his ‘Painmaker’ spiked jacket and will be out for as long as Fozzy is on tour.

“I knew I had him when I transitioned from tap to jazz,” said Gage afterwards. “People think my slogan ‘MDK’ stands for ‘Murder Death Kill’ but that’s just not accurate. It stands for ‘Modern Dance is Kool’. It’s about time the world learns the more glamourous side of Nick f’n Gage!”

AEW is planning a rematch between the two, tentatively titled Flashdance Foofaraw.

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown.
1 Response to "Headlies: Nick Gage Defeats Chris Jericho In A Dance Competition"
  1. D says:

    Reportedly blood was spilled for…………reasons i guess maybe……

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