Headlies: “Hit Matt Hardy With A Chair” Added To Wrestlemania Axxess

2 Submitted by on Mon, 24 February 2020, 08:00

Tampa Bay, FL – At this year’s Wrestlemania Axxess, fans will now have the chance to hit WWE Superstar Matt Hardy with a steel chair.

Following the brutal chair-based attack on Hardy by Randy Orton, WWE officials are looking to capitalize on the positive response.

“Did you hear that reaction?” said WWE CEO Vince McMahon after Orton’s attack on Hardy. “The only thing louder than steel hitting skin was the pop of the crowd. They loved it. Haha, hit ‘em again, pal!”

While many expected Hardy to leave WWE due to a lack of use, the purveyor of “Mattitude” has begrudgingly extended his contract until after Wrestlemania. For a small extra fee, fans attending Axxess can hit the beloved wrestler with a chair.

“Y’know I was kind of going back and forth if I wanted to go to Axxess this year, but now I’m definitely going,” said Alberto Sanz. “The chance to waffle my childhood hero is just too great to pass up!”

“I hated that Broken Matt Hardy crap in TNA, so I’m really going to let him have it,” said Kennedy Campbell.

“I loved that Broken Matt Hardy crap in TNA, so I’m really going to let him have it,” countered her friend Edgar Briede.

“Finally. I’ll show him who’s an MF’er!” exclaimed Hardy’s former protégé Shannon Moore.

Rival wrestling company All Elite Wrestling is considering letting fans kick Sammy Guevara in the face at all live events.

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From the Northeast by way of Parts Unknown. If you like horror movies, check out www.365daysofhorrormovies.blogspot.com
2 Responses to "Headlies: “Hit Matt Hardy With A Chair” Added To Wrestlemania Axxess"
  1. John C says:

    A portion of the profits should go to charity, chair’s sickly child who suffers from wobbly leg syndrome.

  2. Thomas Moffatt says:

    A Whack-a-Vince would be more fun where Vince McMahon appears and you have to try belting him with a bedpan…

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