New York, NY– Readers of the new “Captain America: Steve Rogers” were shocked by the comic’s ending which featured Captain America leg-dropping fellow superhero Jack Flagg before tearing off his costume to reveal a black and white NWO T-shirt before raising his hand in the air and uttering the “Too Sweet!” catch phrase.
“Well the first thing you gotta realize is that this is the future of comics. You can call this the New Hydra Order of Supervillainy brother!” Captain America said. “Well let me know you something. I made Marvel comics a monster. I made people rich up there and when it call came to pass the name Captain America, the man Captain America got bigger than the whole organization brother. And then Disney came calling amigo. They wanted to talk turkey with Captain America. Well Disney promised me movies, they promised me millions of dollars, and they promised me World Caliber comics. As far as Disney goes, as far as Joe Quesada and all of Marvel comics goes I’m bored brother! Because if it wasn’t for Captain America you people couldn’t be here. If it wasn’t for Captain America, Joe Quesada would still be drawing Ninjak at Valiant. If it wasn’t for Captain America Ms. Marvel, Squirrel Girl, and all of these johnny-come-latelys that you see out here wouldn’t be here. I was selling out first issues while they were bumming gas to get through high school. The Avengers, The X-Men, and the fans can stick it brother!”
As boos and crumpled up issues filled comic shops across the country, a hyper ventilating Tony Schiavone yelling. “This is the darkest moment in the history of comics! This isn’t like the time Superman died or when Spider-Man turned out to be a clone. Oh no! This is going to last forever!”
Captain America is currently scheduled to team up with Buff Bagwell to take on The Falcon and Johnny Swinger