Toronto, Ontario – AEW star and father figure Christian Cage was treated to a special breakfast in bed for Father’s Day thanks to his adopted sons Nick Wayne and Killswitch.
Joined by “The Matriarch” Mother Wayne, Nick and Killswitch presented their father with a tray of carefully prepared breakfast foods. Christian Cage smirked at his breakfast of perfectly seasoned scrambled eggs, buttery pancakes with real maple syrup, Canadian bacon, fruit, hot coffee, and fresh squeezed orange juice. Killswitch fluffed Cage’s pillows while Nick read the latest NHL news.
The members of The Patriarchy waited hand and foot on Christian for his special day, fetching him more butter and extra napkins when needed. Both Killswitch and Nick Wayne used the opportunity to get in their “father’s” good graces.
“Umm, Christian…I was wondering if I could, y’know, maybe be called Luchasaurus again,” proposed Killswitch nervously after presenting him with a homemade mug. “See, you changed my name a while back and there really hasn’t been a resolution, so, like, just letting me have my old name again would be really cool.”
“This is rye toast. I like wheat,” said Christian Cage in disgust, tossing the bread at Killswitch’s feet in disgust.
“I stole you a brand new tie, Pop,” said Nick Wayne proudly.
“That’s why you’re my favorite,” said Cage between bites of pancake. “Toss it in the pile that all my other kids gave me. You’ll make a fine FTW champion some day.”
Wayne happily placed the neckwear among the many other gifts that Christian had been gifted for Father’s Day.
The group celebrated Father’s Day again later that night with a dine-and-dash dinner at Red Lobster. No one told Killswitch and he was forced to wash dishes to pay for the bill.