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WCW, early 90's

In doing research for Death of WCW, I discovered that, aside from 2000 and 2001, the years in which the company went completely belly up, 1993 may have been the worst year in the company's existence. The sheer amount of idiotic decisions the company made during these twelve months was simply mind-boggling.

There was the infamous Beach Blast mini-movie, in which a one-eyed midget named Cheatum swam across the ocean with a shark fin on his back to plant a bomb on Sting's boat. The reunion of the legendary Four Horsemen, featuring the worst Horseman of all time. Cactus Jack became a sailor after losing his memory. And to wrap up the year, we had Sid Vicious cutting his title aspirations short, quite literally, in a scissor fight with Arn Anderson.

And then there was the Shockmaster.

Going into Fall Brawl 93, Sting and Davey Boy Smith were in need of a partner to take on Sid Vicious and Harlem Heat. So who did they turn to? Ric Flair? Dusty Rhodes? Maybe even Cactus Jack, who had given up his sea-farin' ways?

Good choices all, but none with the balls-out mega superstar drawing power of the Shockmaster.

Thank you, Dusty Rhodes.

Shockmaster was actually a friend of Rhodes named Fred Ottman, who also portrayed such unmemorable characters as Tugboat and Typhoon. While those gimmicks certainly stunk, neither ranks as high on the Suck-O-Meter as The Shockmaster, who was set to be introduced to a live nationwide audience in spectacular fashion. There was to be an explosion, and then Shocky was to come out and stir fear into his adversaries.

The problem is, he tripped on the way out.

Yes, poor Fred fell right on his face, and his mask (which was just a Star Wars Stormtrooper masked covered in silver glitter - where were your lawyers, George Lucas?!) fell to the floor. As Freddy stumbled to his feet, you could almost hear the angle screech to a halt.

But then, Shocky cut a killer interview and saved the show. Well, not really. Actually, a prerecorded tape rolled with dialog that was supposedly coming from the Shockmaster. Take a listen.

Hey, wasn't that the Black Scorpion? You've got sharp ears - Ole Anderson did use the exact same voice effects for the Shockmaster as they did for the Scorpion. Maybe Shock should have started throwing out random dates and locations to Sid. "Sid, Memphis - 1991. You stunk up the Mid South Colisseum."

As bad as that was, the worst part might have been poor Sid Vicious and Harlem Heat shaking in their boots, in awe of a guy who just splattered his face into the concrete floor. Say what you want about Sid, and God knows we do, but you have to give the poor guy credit for at least trying to sell his clumsy adversary as someone to fear. Which is more than can be said of Jesse Ventura, who made Shocky look even more like a total idiot with his commentary.

The Shockmaster was short-lived following his big debut. He wrestled in a handful of matches, before WCW gave him a new identity: Uncle Fred, whose gimmick was that he was clumsy. Amazingly, this did NOT GET OVER. I know, I find it hard to believe too.

After such a horrific start, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that Ottman was shown the door.

Rumors that he tripped on his way out are unsubstantiated.

- Black Scorpi...err, I mean, THE SHOCKMASTER: "They call me the Shockmaster! You ruled the world long enough, Sid Vicious? Come on, you want a piece of me?"

- Jesse Ventura (barely able to compose himself): "What an entrance by the Shockmaster! We're full of spectacular entrances!"