from RD Reynolds: Before I hand things over to K-Cubed, I
need to say a few words about today's induction. As most of
you know, prior to starting WrestleCrap.com, I worked the
independent wrestling circuit in Indianapolis and the surrounding
area. During that time, I worked with a lot of people, some
famous (Mark Henry, Big Show, Batista), some not so famous
(POOL STAR!). But the one thing I took away from being with
these folks is that there are a lot of people who REALLY want
to make it in this business.
think, in some ways, that's why I started WrestleCrap.com.
I see people who are doing everything they can to succeed,
learning the craft, working out to insane degrees, getting
matches under their belt...and I see these same people going
to major promotions who have no idea what to do with them.
is the case with Chris Harris. I worked with Chris on a handful
of shows, and he was always a super nice guy and a hard worker.
I was so happy to see him (and Abyss, who I worked with when
he was Prince Justice and demanded that the fans not refer
to him as a "Blueberry!") get his chance in WCW
and later TNA. After a pretty spectacular run in TNA (I'll
ignore the last couple of months there), he signed with WWE.
not talked to Chris in years (and honestly, he may not even
remember me), but I have to believe that was a lifelong dream,
to finally work in the top wrestling company in the world,
the one that he probably watched since he was a kid. And then...it
all fell apart, thanks to a horrendous character that I don't
think even Ric Flair could have made work.
a reminder...I designed WrestleCrap to never (well, rarely
at least) to mock the workers, but rather those who booked
those workers into horrible angles and stupid characters.
I can think of no better example than the one we present here
Kelly, the floor is yours.
think it's apparent to anyone with a brain blessed with common
sense that the WWE and TNA desperately need new up and coming
talent to train and prep to take over for the old guys who
have overstayed their welcome and even the not-so-old established
guys who...well, just won't go away. Let's face it, if they
keep doing Triple H Vs. Cena or Triple H Vs. Orton or Batista
Vs. Pretty Much Anyone, then people are not going to watch
your crappy show except to ridicule it, no matter how many
"celebrity" guest hosts you bring in.
The thing is, there are tons of young guys who could be pushed
to one day take over the reigns, fresh blood to get fans interested
in for the day that will inevitably come when no one is willing
to continue to pay to see the same old, same old. Instead,
both companies have seem to have made it their mission statement
to bury any and all new talent.
was the case with one Chris Harris.
After a very short stay with WCW in late 2000 to early 2001
when the company was sold, Harris made a name from himself
in Jeff Jarrett's TNA promotion as James Storm's tag team
partner in "America's Most Wanted". Thankfully,
John Walsh was not called in to feud with the duo.
team enjoyed great success until the decision was made to
break them up and to feud them, wherein Harris developed into
a smark-like whiner who constantly complained about the conditions
of TNA and how they only cared about outside talent. Russo
has struck again!
he was constantly being jobbed to his former partner and all
the old guys (notice a pattern here?), Harris decided to be
released from his TNA contract and sign with the WWE, the
REAL big time wrestling promotion. The promotion that every
young wrestling fan dreams of joining one day when they grow
wouldn't take long for his enthusiasm to be killed off.
took about three weeks, in fact.
debut came in the middle of a WWECW show with General
Manager Tiffany (because women in wrestling are not
allowed to have last names, unless your first and last
name are the same cause it's funny...somehow...) and
Teddy Long having a conversation that's rudely interrupted
from RD: Hey look - yet another fresh guy who could
talk and be entertaining. No wonder he had his legs
cut off too!)
has been de-frocked as WWECW General Manager and now
instead of wearing nice white suits with panama hats,
he is dressed like he's about to jump to TNA to join
LAX (in case this happens in the future, you heard
it here first, folks!). He complains to Teddy that
he wants his job back and he's willing to do ANYTHING
for it. Even watch all 10 High School Musicals
without once heading to the bathroom. I kid. Teddy
agrees but under one condition, he has to wrestle
I totally didn't see that one coming!
from RD: A Pez Whatley reference...ah, you truly are
a worthy apprentice.)
it isn't Shaska, it's that guy in the singlet right
over there, the one Teddy describes as WWECW's "newest
newest superstar...and the EXTREME MASTER OF THE KNOCK
KNOCK JOKE, THAT IS!
for a rant paragraph)
Wait a minute....your name is BRADEN WALKER???!! It
sounds like the kinda name the writers of a CW "teen
drama" came up with. I guess he can't just be
"Chris Harris: New Up and Comer to the WWE".
Gimme a break. And I think this is the first time
a wrestler was ever threatened by a KNOCK KNOCK JOKE
HORRIBLE KNOCK KNOCK JOKE PROMO.
a debut. Though I'm disappointed Armando didn't bother
with, "Braden Walker and I'm gonna knock your
brains out WHO?", which would've left Walker
speechless until he just decided to leave the room.
(back to induction)
Anyways, Armando's cruel and frighteningly witty comeback
to this strong threat of brain-knocking-outting?
same thing as anyone else's: take off the glasses.
WOO! What a comeback!
Sadly, the nodding and staring comes to a close as we're
taken to a graphic promsing us a Mark Henry-Tommy Dreamer
match-up, who I believe both weigh the same amount now.
from Raven: CAUSE HE'S FAT!)
Get outta here, Raven.
to the ring we go, as Armando and Braden Walker...
I can't do it.
just can't do it.
has there ever been a STUPIDER name than BRADEN WALKER?
It's hard enough to type it, let alone attempt to
rationalize that someone thought that was a GOOD WRESTLING
ok, I'll try. So Braden and Armando go out to the
ring and have an okay match. Nothing spectacular but
it's watchable. In fact, it's even more watchable
if you turn down the inane commentary from the epic
announce team of Mike Adamle and Tazz, and discuss
important details like Armando's pants pockets hanging
out. Don't get too excited now, kids.
the crowd is completely silent for the match, which
is somewhat understandable because no one knows this
new guy whose name sounds like he belongs in the cast
of Gossip Girl and Armando has as much heat
as Winnipeg in February.
the match ends with Braden Walker getting the pinfall
victory over Armando. So far it's 1-0 for Walker.
if you will - Goldberg had to start somewhere too,
next week, we see Braden having a talk with Matt Hardy
backstage. I like how most WWE wrestlers can simply
ignore the camera in front of them, no matter how private
you think you are or what embarrassing deeds you perform.
introduces himself to Matt and the two have a friendly
that's really about it.
may ask me why I chose to include this insignificant
bit of information but you'll see why in a few minutes.
now has his 2nd WWE match against James Curtis, main
roster jobber, who had lost to nearly everyone in
WWECW at least twice, but was supposed to be a challenge
for Walker: Texas Toast Eater.Sort
of a step down from wrestling Armando but Walker shouldn't
check out the C-cups on Curtis.
him a manziere, Kramer!
two have another okay match, which Walker wins once
again (2-0!) and people seemed to be warming up to
the new guy.
next week, they'll warm up to him even more and maybe
even give Braden a shot at one of the big names in
there was no next week.
That's right, after his first 2 matches, Braden Walker (aka
Chris Harris), WWECW's "newest superstar", was GONE
from World Wrestling Entertainment.
In his time in the WWE, Chris Harris has been given a pussy
teenager name, challenged Armando via Knock Knock promo, beat
him, talked to Matt Hardy in the hallway, beat James Curtis.
it should be noted was also fired.
Armando hung around long enough to lose to Colin Delaney until
the WWE got tired of the both of them. With his release, there
was no real way to remember Braden Walker outside of Matt
Hardy walking down hallways and talking to random people.
The Unemployment Line, and here's your first check.
don't feel bad - after your expenses, it's probably more than
WWE was paying.
Braden Walker: "Knock Knock."
Armando Estrada: "Who's there?"
Braden Walker: "Braden Walker...and I'm gonna knock your