Jordan Mishkin, Author at WrestleCrap - The Very Worst of Pro Wrestling! - Page 5 of 12 Archive | WrestleCrap

Headlies: The Undertaker Finally Listens to “Rolling” by Limp Bizkit

9 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 21 November 2016, 08:00

Death Valley, CA – WWE legend The Undertaker finally listened to the song “Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle)” by Limp Bizkit and did not like what he heard. Following the his return on the 900th episode of Smackdown, The Undertaker was riding a wave of nostalgia. After watching several of his Smackdown matches on the WWE Network, Undertaker came to the Continue Reading...

Headlies: Mattel Debuts Rock’em Sock’em Wrestlers Game

9 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 14 November 2016, 08:00

El Segundo, CA – World-famous toy manufacturer Mattel announced today that they have joined forces with the WWE to create a Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots game starring WWE wrestlers. In a conference call with investors, Mattel CEO Christopher A. Sinclair said of the partnership, “WWE and Mattel have a long history of creating fun for children and horrible annoyances Continue Reading...

Headlies: Broken Matt Hardy Accidentally Deletes Billy Corgan

8 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 07 November 2016, 08:00

Cameron, NC – Ousted TNA official Billy Corgan secretly met with TNA wrestler Matt Hardy at his palatial estate in North Carolina to plot a coup against Dixie Carter. “Dearest Billiam, thank you for coming to the Hardy Compound and Kid-teractive Funasium,” said Hardy. “I trust the guard drones did not give you a problem? Would you like a Fresca Continue Reading...

Headlies: The McMahons Go Trick Or Treating

9 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 31 October 2016, 08:00

Greenwich, CT – Before Monday Night Raw, the McMahon family embarked on their annual trick or treating trip through the posh neighborhoods of Greenwich, Connecticut. WWE CEO Vince McMahon, who was dressed as a sheriff, led his family on their quest for free candy. “It’s all about the Paydays!” he barked in his typical gravelly voice. “It’s also about Whatchamacallits Continue Reading...

Headlies: WWE Network Acquires CZW Library, Announces Premium Subscription Tier

6 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Wed, 26 October 2016, 12:00

This Headlie was written by crapper Paul Sebert. Thanks Paul! Stanford, CT – Facing new streaming competition from Flo Slam, New Japan World, Highspots, and Chikaratopia, the WWE has taken a proactive approach to adding new content to the WWE Network. Yesterday, a landmark video streaming deal was struck between the WWE and Philadelphia-based independent promotion CZW. “We’ve listened to the Continue Reading...