Jordan Mishkin, Author at WrestleCrap - The Very Worst of Pro Wrestling! Archive | WrestleCrap

Headlies: “The Greatest Wrestling Match Ever” Will Be Repurposed Savage-Steamboat Footage

0 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 01 June 2020, 08:00

Stamford, CT – WWE officials have discovered a way to ensure that the advertised “Greatest Wrestling Match Ever” between Randy Orton and Edge at Backlash will indeed be the world’s greatest wrestling match. WWE CEO Vince McMahon and his writing team have been scrambling for weeks trying to think of a way to actually make another Orton-Edge match great. After Continue Reading...

Headlies: Kairi Sane Joins Jethro Tull

5 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 25 May 2020, 08:00

Orlando, FL – WWE Superstar Kairi Sane has officially joined British classic rock band Jethro Tull as their new flutist. At last Monday’s Raw, Sane honored her friend Asuka’s WWE Raw Women’s Championship coronation with a beautiful flute solo. Though it was interrupted by Nia Jax, the brief concert did not go unnoticed in the music world. “She really was Continue Reading...

Headlies: Fans Cursed With Seven More Years Of Baron Corbin

7 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 18 May 2020, 08:00

Stamford, CT – Tragic news hit the WWE Universe last Sunday during the Money In The Bank Match as fans came to the horrifying realization that they would be stuck with Baron Corbin for seven more years. The disturbing news followed after Corbin broke a mirror in the gym at Titan Tower during the event. In the mad dash for Continue Reading...

Headlies: Otis Gets Middle Management Job After Money In The Bank Match

2 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 11 May 2020, 08:00

Stamford, CT – After obtaining the Money In The Bank Briefcase, WWE Superstar Otis Dozovic ended up gaining a new job in WWE’s corporate office. The beloved Superstar raced through Titan Tower along with Rey Mysterio, Baron Corbin, Aleister Black, AJ Styles, and Daniel Bryan in order to win the Money In The Bank briefcase. The battle spilled throughout WWE’s Continue Reading...

Headlies: Parts Unknown Extends Lockdown

5 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 04 May 2020, 08:00

Parts Unknown – The residents of Parts Unknown must continue their lockdown for another two months, according to instructions by the local government. Parts Unknown, which exists outside time and space, has been a refuge for masked, face-painted, and generally weird professional wrestlers for decades. This mysterious land serves as a home for such grapplers as The Ultimate Warrior, The Continue Reading...