Jordan Mishkin, Author at WrestleCrap - The Very Worst of Pro Wrestling! Archive | WrestleCrap

Headlies: “The Official WWE Cookbook” War Raiders Recipe Made Entirely Of Hair

0 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 21 January 2019, 08:00

Stamford, CT – WWE officials have revealed another recipe for the upcoming “Official WWE Cookbook” just in time for the Royal Rumble. The cookbook, which contains recipes such as Dean Ambrosia Salad, Mimosa Joes, Braun Beef Stroganoffman, and Zack Ryder’s Microwave Soup For One, was formally announced by WWE Chief Brand Officer Stephanie McMahon. “Your Royal Rumble party is going Continue Reading...

Headlies: All Elite Wrestling Signs Joey Ryan’s Penis Druids

5 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 14 January 2019, 08:00

Jacksonville, FL – Cody Rhodes, the leader of the newly-formed All Elite Wrestling, proudly announced that they have signed Joey Ryan’s Penis Druids to a 5-year deal. “Wrestling has a long and storied history of having wrestling phalluses,” explained Rhodes. “The Dicks, The Johnsons, JBL. Everyone was talking about the Penis Druids resurrecting Joey Ryan at All In, so it Continue Reading...

Headlies: Impact Wrestling Vows To Win Gooker Award Next Year

2 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 07 January 2019, 08:00

Toronto, ON – An emergency meeting of executives at Anthem Sports was called this weekend to discuss Impact Wrestling’s exclusion from the 2018 Gooker Award nominations. Anthem Sports CEO Leonard Asper addressed the issue among his company’s leaders. “How? How does this happen?” asked Asper. “We’ve worked too long and too hard to just be completely left off the Wrestlecrap Continue Reading...

Headlies: Vince McMahon Trying To Dress Lars Sullivan Like The New Year’s Baby

2 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 31 December 2018, 08:00

Orlando, FL – WWE CEO Vince McMahon has taken on NXT Superstar Lars Sullivan as a personal project with a time-honored gimmick. “With the McMahon family coming back on Raw and Smackdown, some plans were pushed to the side,” explained McMahon. “Unfortunately, some of those plans included Lars Sullivan. I felt bad for letting him down, but I came up Continue Reading...

Headlies: Comet The Reindeer Films Shoot Interview For Kayfabe Commentaries

1 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 24 December 2018, 08:00

Newark, NJ – Legendary reindeer Comet sat down this past weekend with Sean Oliver of Kayfabe Commentaries for shoot interview. Comet did not hold back, unleashing years of pent-up frustration and anger at his former colleagues. “Santa’s Workshop would’ve closed down years ago if it wasn’t for me,” said a disgusted Comet. “It’s like those elves get dumber every year Continue Reading...