Jordan Mishkin, Author at WrestleCrap - The Very Worst of Pro Wrestling! Archive | WrestleCrap

Headlies: Becky Lynch Tests Positive For Rabies

3 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 17 February 2020, 08:00

Everett, WA – Raw Women’s Champion Becky Lynch has tested positive for rabies days after receiving a bite by WWE Superstar Shayna Baszler. WWE officials suspected Lynch was not well during this morning’s walkthrough at the Angel of the Winds Arena. The normally calm and attentive Lynch was visibly aggressive, growling at members of the ring crew. Her condition quickly Continue Reading...

Headlies: Special Guest Gimp Added To MJF – Cody Rhodes Match

5 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 10 February 2020, 08:00

Chicago, IL – Following his brutal ten lashings given to him by MJF, Cody Rhodes has announced that their match at AEW Revolution will include a special guest gimp. Still sporting welts on his back, Rhodes announced the stipulation in an interview with Jennifer Decker. “I gave my word that I would endure everything that MJF could dish out,” explained Continue Reading...

Headlies: Jean-Pierre LaFitte Steals Chris Jericho’s Cruise Ship

5 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 03 February 2020, 08:00

Miami, FL – Miami Police have reported that the Norwegian Pearl cruise ship that recently Chris Jericho’s Rock ‘N’ Wrestling Rager, was stolen by former WWF star Jean-Pierre LaFitte. The ship, which was used to tape the January 22nd episode of AEW Dynamite, was docked at PortMiami for an extensive hosing and scrubbing. Somewhere between Saturday night and Sunday morning, Continue Reading...

Headlies: Fake Cody Rhodes and Fake Chris Jericho Appear At The Royal Rumble

3 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 27 January 2020, 08:00

Houston, TX – In a surprisingly unsurprising move, WWE debuted and embarrassed “Cody Rhodes” and “Chris Jericho” at last night’s Royal Rumble. After Brock Lesnar entered the Rumble at number one, the two impersonators were led to the ring by Bruce Prichard. The Executive Producer of Smackdown, donning a black cowboy hat, introduced himself as “Texarkana”. “You want a war, Continue Reading...

Headlies: Fan Regrets Wishing For More Wrestling On A Monkey’s Paw

5 Submitted by Jordan Mishkin on Mon, 20 January 2020, 08:00

Duluth, MN – Diehard wrestling fan Henry Peterson now regrets wishing for more pro wrestling on a magical monkey’s paw. Peterson, who purchased the cursed object from a mysterious old man at a market in Marakesh, was unaware of its power. “At first, I didn’t really think much of it,” said Peterson, bathed in the warm glow of his television Continue Reading...